To wonder if any men widowed under the age of 60 stay single?

[lavenderferns]

It seems to me most find a partner within six to twelve months of their wife dying. Happy to be proved wrong?

Lost my DM when my DF was early 50s

A decade on my DF is still single, enjoys a decent social life and travels a bit. I don't think he could imagine sharing his life again now, but if he met someone I'd be very happy for him.

My FIL was widowed 5 years ago, at the age of 65. I can’t imagine him wanting anyone else. He still talks about my MIL as ‘his girl’. It’s not that he’s locked into the past or caught in acute grief still, more that he simply wouldn’t consider another partner an option. Neither of them ever needed anyone else. He says this very simply and neutrally to me. (I’m ‘removed’ enough to not feel any immediate strong emotion about him being with someone else, as I suspect my husband or SIL might feel. Indeed, I’ve gently encouraged him to widen his social circle)

My sil died 5 years ago & her dh (now 50) has shown no interest in starting another serious relationship (that I know of anyway). While I definitely don't want him to be alone for the rest of his life it may be awkward if he does because sil left her half of their house to my dc so he will have to sell his home if he wants to re-marry or cohabit.

Oops I meant to say "it might be less awkward if he does".

Wild generalisation here. I hear women say they could never be bothered with another man if they split or lost their husband. It’s as if women have had their fill of married life. I wonder if some men ( especially of an older generation) get a better deal out of marriage therefore are more driven to partner up.

@eveningshadows Sad in the sense of the stories of loss people are sharing, of those who have lost their spouse, often young.

My dad has been on his own since my mum died. They were both late 40s at the time. It's been nearly 20 years. He did have a relationship of sorts but it never went anywhere - his choice, the lady concerned was keen for more.

The only man I know to have been widowed whilst of working age married about three years after his first wife died. By contrast all the widowed women in my family and the seven in my mum's street to have been widowed have never remarried, and two have been widows for over 15 years. Both my grandmothers were in their fifties when widowed, as was a cousin.

I think marriage later in life, when wanting children is no longer an issue benefits men more than women. A man gets a companion, someone who cooks,cleans,does all the mental work around the house and generally makes his life more pleasant (Yes I know thats horribly sexist but unfortunately more often than not it is what happens). A woman just gets extra work so its less appealing.

My DM hasn't been interested in a serious relationship since my dad has passed.
She says she enjoys her freedom and is used to doing whatever she wants without discussing with anyone else.
Am sure she misses him, but she says she has close relationships that keep her from being lonely with friends and family.
I think marriage is a pleasanter experience for a lot of men than it is for women, and they probably want to replicate that.

I wonder if the remarriages are linked to the many posts I see on wife work and then mental load that women do. So some men find that they cannot run their lives, they need a woman to help them

One of my grandads was widowed at 49, he will be 84 next week and has never met anyone else or been interested. My other grandad was widowed at 76 and had a girlfriend within 6 months - he was always a 'ladies man' so nobody was surprised! My husband and I joke that if he died I wouldn't remarry because I've got my kids and I wouldn't need the hassle of another husband. He says he would need a new wife within a week because he couldn't cope on his own. Maybe women are generally more independent? My single grandad does seem to be an exception and is often pursued by ladies in his social groups but his heart still belongs to my nana ❤️