To wonder if any men widowed under the age of 60 stay single?

[lavenderferns]

It seems to me most find a partner within six to twelve months of their wife dying. Happy to be proved wrong?

scrivette - Oscar Wilde agreed with you! He said “when a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.”

My DF was 37 when he was widowed and he remarried four years later. He'd had a couple of other girlfriends before that and I'm certain it was all to do with providing some sort of family unit for me and my sister.

A friend was recently widowed at 36, within six weeks of the funeral he was living with his pregnant girlfriend. Seemed his wife’s accidental death allowed him a convenient way of bringing his mistress in.

My experiences same as Alexa. Why is that?

I think men worry less what people think. They don't let the judgements of other people stop them doing things as much as women do imo.

my mum passed away at 34. My dad had a new partned within a18 months 😑 and jad about 10 since

Whine, mine had a new one within 8 weeks! 18 months is positively ages for the men!

My husband met me within 8 months of him becoming a widower.

My cousin aged 56 married her second husband 2 years after becoming widowed.
She dated him 3 months after her second husband’s death.

My dad was widowed at 56 and is still single. I wish you would meet somebody nice to spend his life with.

My dad had shacked up with another woman about 4 months after my Mum died, and he was chatting to the woman online while my Mum was terminally ill.

This thread is really sad

DFIL was in a relationship within 3 weeks of DMIL dying. They'd been married for more than 30 years.

He was very open from an early stage that he refused to be alone. He set out very single-mindedly to find a new companion come what may, without caring how it looked.

A large part of it was that he "couldn't" run a house and so needed someone to cook, clean, pay the bills, pack luggage, manage appointments etc etc. All quite mercenary.

A family friend in his 60s had a couple as friends same age as him. The wife of the couple died and the week after the funeral the widower took another woman on a cruise. My family friend was so upset. He thought they were a devoted couple and could not believe the disrespect that the widower had shown towards his dead wife. Their friendship broke up.

What I also find interesting is that in a significant number of cases the widower marries a woman both he and his wife knew previously. Often a friend of the wife who spent time comforting him, both before and after the wife's death.

This is my experience too. Apart from my uncle who was widowed 30 years ago and never met anyone. I wish he had.

My brother was widowed at 38 and is still single 8 years later. Although he did have a brief relationship three years ago that resulted in his daughter. He's a great dad and very happy and not closed to meeting someone new, he just still likes his late wife more than anyone else.

My cousins wife died when they were both 27.

He started dating again this year at 37.

My uncle was 50 when my Auntie died, he died in his 70s and grieved for her the whole time, he never met anyone else and I don't think he wanted to. She was his whole life.

I'm not sure the connection of knowing the late wife is particularly meaningful though.

Firstly, surely it's more likely you'll get together with someone in your circle than a stranger you meet randomly?

Also, a friend of your late wife is likely to share something with her - a sense of humour, hobbies, values... Friends usually do. Which makes it more like the widow would find something attractive in her.

I'm marrying a widower. He didn't feel ready to date again for 3 years (not me, initially). It's been 7 years now, and he still loves his wife. I know that 3 years is hardly the 3 months people have spoken of...

But I think it's useful to remember that falling in love a second time doesn't erase the first love. My fiancé loves us both.

Sad in what way @Caspiana?

I’ve sadly lost several female friends very young - all their husbands started dating again within a year. I don’t have an issue with it. Walk a mile in their shoes etc.

I expect to never be in a relationship again, in My early 40s.

No one could ever match up to him. It would feel like cheating. Though he begged me to find a new man before he passed.

threesilverfeathers that's so sad, sorry to hear that

I think it's sad too. Sad that people have lost a loved one (particularly when young), sad that some can move on in a matter of months & sad that some never move on.

My Dad was 60 when my Mum died. They'd been together since they were 16 and were always like a couple of lovestruck teenagers. He would go in a mood if she talked to another man (even 80 year old ex-colleagues 😂) he met another woman 5 months after Mum died, moved her into the family home 2 months later. My Mum said before she died 'you have to make sure your Dad meets someone else. He'll be useless on his own' it's been a bit difficult for me and my brother since then. I'm glad he's happy but his wife is a bit difficult and clearly resents us. It's sad really.

My great uncle lost his wife before he was 28, 50 years later he still says there's no one else for him.