step son and wife want to make up

[Dinkiedoo]

well husbands step son and wife haven't spoken to us in 5 years. they got married and had 2 children. All this we found out 3rd hand. Hubbys dad was seriously ill and step son got in touch 6 months after this. He knew full well what was going on .
Neither of us are interested . Its hubbys step son from his first marriage so nothing to do with me . I said its up to him if he wants to get back in touch . Ive been blamed for everything by this lads mum and now lack of contact is also being blamed on me. Ive learnt to keep quiet and not get involved with any of it as my words are twisted.
My step son (husbands son ) is now being cold with me and I am sure he is being "turned" by the other relatives.
In all honesty I think hubbys step son is thinking we have come into money . We have both got new cars and had work done on the house .He got in touch and asked if we would go with him to see husbands parents with us ! He wrote to hubby as if the last 5 years had not happened .He asked to make up. we have not replied to any messages .
I know people say life is too short but we just can t be doing with them especially now that they have kids. We know that if we did make up and got close to the kids there would eventually be fall out and they would be involved .AIBU to stay away ?

How old is your DH's son?

If he’s your husbands stepson, then he’s no relation to either of you? If I’ve got that right then I don’t see why you shouldn’t stay away! More trouble than it’s worth imo

so very true
He has always been an obnoxious little twit.

Surely your husbands step son would be your son... otherwise this other guy isn't actually related in anyway nor under any obligation to tell his mums ex anything

It depends what age the step son was when your H married his mum. Was he essentially a father to him and is now not interested, or was he already an adult at the time. I think if your H was a parent he should be the bigger person here

Ok, so hss is not related as such to you or your dh. He came along as part of the package when dh was with his mum? Now ss is cold. Step back and let them sort themselves out. This one is your dh's call. If he wants him back in his life then you have a decision to make...do you believe that this has been brought on by his need to have a father figure, a grandparent and a new start or is this a ruse being pushed by his mother who cannot accept dh has moved on? As to the visit with his step grandparents, he is a grown up and does not need a chaperone. Either this is genuine or money/inheritance driven. Up to dh and his parents to decide.

Hubby brought his ex wifes step son up from the age of three .None of this has been appreciated or acknowledged but hubby doesn't care .He did his best by him .
I'm not getting involved in their relationship. Its step son who now wants to make up but its not my decision although hubs has asked my opinion. The lad disowned the whole part of hubbys family with his childish silent treatment .No one was invited to wedding .
H e know hubbys dad was very ill but it took him 6 months to ask .Hubbys dad has now passed away .Step son did not go to funeral or even send a card.
My husband is not interested in him now .His Step son has treated his family appallingly .He often argues with his mum and stops speaking to her but she runs after him to beg forgiveness . Something we wont be doing

OP you're really not being clear.
Is this boy your husband's son or previously his step son from a previous realtionhip??

It makes a difference.

How is OP not being clear?

Its hubbys step son from his first marriage

I think anything you say or do will make you unpopular so I'd tend to leave them to it.

What Mission said, it's her husband's step-son from his first marriage. No blood relation but the OP's husband raised him from the age of three.

Why did they fall out in the first place? It’s quite a big deal to not be invited to the wedding or be told about children. Are you and ‘hubby’ as innocent as you seem?

I imagine there is a good reason they stopped speaking to you in the first place.

Personally I'd stay well clear. People will blame everyone but themselves when there is conflict. If he has form for nit speaking to people then who's to say he won't just do it again?

OP you're not being clear. One thing tho - you keep saying you're not getting involved but you do sound very invested. Its clear that you don't want him and his kids around. But people fall out all the time, families are no exception. You may not be able to prevent this stepson coming back on the scene eventually. Galling for you, maybe. But that's family for you.

Almost always it's six of one and half a dozen of the other. So what was your part and your DH's part in all this?

He’s an adult and not your dh’s son (just a step son), and so your dh can do what he wants. Tbh I think your dh should just end contact. As for his actual son, how old is he? Can’t understand how he could be turned against his dad if he’s an adult too.

He is holding olive branch out . Why not reach out and take it . Show your self as adults . Your step son is showing he is adult why can't you .

I think it’s sad he was a father to him since he was 3 and now considers he wasn’t suitably thanked for taking on that role

So your husband's 1st wife already had a child when they met, this stepson has turned against you. Your husband also has a biological son, who has also turned against you. & your husband's family appear not to like you Sounds a tangled web

MistressDeeCee

Where does it say the husband has a biological son?

In the OP.

Where? Quote it please?

Never mind, spotted it. Read it again very slowly (it's been a long day)

Mission I only noticed when I read it again very slowly 🙂