AIBU to expect my children's Xmas play not to promote gender stereotypes

[Swimbikerun]

I fear I may be unreasonable in my expectations, and perhaps over thinking this. My DD is in yr1 and their class (girl heavy) has been split into 2 groups for the play, each half will do a dance. Half 1, all girls, are angels. Half 2 are a mix of boys and girls, and have been told they are nurses and doctors. My DD told me all the girls are nurses and all the boys are doctors.

I have phoned the school this morning to discuss this, they agree this is the case, but say the children were given a choice whether to be doctors or nurses, and think this is ok. I am worried that this encourages gender stereotypes and am actually quite horrified that they think they are reasonable.

I think they should say that all children are nurses, or all are doctors.

AIBU?

Not seeing the issue. The kids got the choice. Nothing was forced on them.

Confused why doctors and nurses are in a school play, but that's by the by!

Probably people will say you are being unreasonable. You're not. This is precisely the kind of thing that reinforces inequality in later life.

I think they should allocate some if the boys to be Drs and some to be nurses and vice versa for the girls.

They only chose what they did to he with their friends or because that's what they think they should be.

Yes, agree they should have mixed the groups: obviously once one of two choose to be doctors/nurses the rest will fall into line.

My son is an angel

Did you say the children were given the choice?

In that case i can’t see the problem

I think that's it, letting them choose . The school schould be taking an active role in making sure gender stereotypes do not continue.

But the children are 5!

Really? Just really?

I bet they were NOT given a choice. I also bet the teacher responsible has been told about your call and won't do something so stupid again.

Their 6 though.

If their best friend is a nurse they will want to be a nurse.

It's also sad that they already think Drs are boys and nurses are girls.

Some people are never happy. If the school forces them to dress up as a nurse when they wanted to be a doctor you would be complaining about the lack of choice

This sort of stuff annoys me. You’re right, it’s lazy stereotyping, and it shouldn’t happen.

When my dd was in year 2, there were twice as many girls as boys in her year. Nonetheless, come play time, the boys were all the ‘in charge’ roles (Dj, prime minister, eco warrior) and the girls were all assistants (secretaries, dancers, general chorus line)

It was extraordinary, and no one actually noticed this imbalance until I pointed it out)

Be prepared for lots of posters to tell you to stop worrying about a first world problem which doesn’t exist apart from in your own head, though

YADNBU op!! Good for you for discussing with the school. It’s not good enough to say the girls chose to be nurses. The school should be supporting them to challenge gender stereotypes.

I'm horrified along with you.

Ideally there would be boys in the angel group. I can sort of understand why they haven't pushed this, though.

Even if the class is girl-heavy, the "doctors and nurses" should be equally split between the girls and boys.

Small children conform to gender stereotypes precisely because they like to "conform" - and we reflect the world around us, which is unequal and gives "boys" and "girls" different jobs and acceptable ambitions. And it is the JOB of schools to help children think differently.

I would be "that" parent over this, despite everyone else raising their eyebrows at me.

I thought there would probably be a mixed view. I normally shrug my shoulders about things at school, but this is bothering me.

And to those that say they don’t see the problem ... kids learn about the world and their place within it through play. This stuff matters in the long term!

The thing is, my daughter is an Angel, so actually , the school think I have no reason to get into it at all.

At preschool, my DS used to dress up in princess dresses, but got a bit bewildered when the teachers kept taking photos of him, and making a big deal about it when I came to pick him up.

Can't they all just be medical professionals?

I agree with you OP, but I doubt it's the teachers. I would imagine it's more that they couldn't face the idea of certain parents calling up to complain that little Tommy is having to dress like shock horror a nurse (or worse an angel)

I doubt it's the teachers. I would imagine it's more that they couldn't face the idea of certain parents calling up to complain that little Tommy is having to dress like shock horror a nurse (or worse an angel)

It's still the teachers' job to challenge these stereotypes though - perhaps especially for those DC who have parents like that?

Can't they all just be medical professionals?

Wasn't it Salome the midwife?

FWIW I agree with you OP.

That would bother me too.

I agree with you. It's areas like this where stereotypes are initially enforced which leads to inequality later in life as PP said. It's not on. No doubt you will be seen as 'that parent' should you complain but fuck that. The nature of gender stereotypes are so insidious they need to be nipped in the bud from day dot.

I agree with you and the majority here OP. It is the job of schools to set standards for children and allow them to see the world differently. 'Oh they all wanted to be nurses' is lazy at best and really ignorant at worst.

I spend a significant portion of my professional life saying to teenagers 'no, I don't care that there are 3 boys and 2 girls in your play, that doesn't make it ok for them to be 'the mother' and not have any good lines or even a name...'

Depressing and needs challenging from age 5 up.

Yanbu

It's all these little messages that add up.