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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 25 yr old DSD is old enough to make her own Xmas plans?

81 replies

K1092902 · 21/11/2017 20:19

DSD is 25 and has lived with me and DH for nearly 6 months after a pretty big falling out with her mum.

We are planning on visiting DHs relatives over Xmas- except DSD doesn't want to go. She wants to spend time with her boyfriend and her friends and i think she is old enough to make her own decisions.

Shes not a massive Xmas dinner fan anyway so i was going to cook her er favourite tea to heat up for Xmas day and leave her a bottle of wine to drink and give her presents before we.

DH has got a titty lip on.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MyBrilliantDisguise · 21/11/2017 21:32

I doubt if this is the pregnant SD if the OP's buying her a bottle of wine!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 21/11/2017 21:34

OP has 2 DSD's her younger DSD is pregnant.

Italiangreyhound · 21/11/2017 21:43

I would say she can go with you or stay at home or go to a friends, but she cannot alter your plans.

(I want to see what a titty lip looks like!)

Nyx1 · 21/11/2017 21:46

25?! She should do what she likes.

though I'm surprised you are cooking a meal for her, I mean it's sweet, but she is 25 and should be doing what she likes, so would make more sense to cook another day when you can sit together and enjoy it. She is certainly old enough to sort out her own Xmas food!

emmcan · 21/11/2017 21:48

I haven't heard that phrase since I was in Lark Lane in 2000...proper memories...x

illuminousopptomist · 21/11/2017 21:58

Titty lip, titty lip, titty lip argh I can't stop Grin

bridgetreilly · 21/11/2017 22:12

Could you also PLEASE explain to my mother that I am 43 and do not need her to make my Christmas plans for me?

Lweji · 21/11/2017 22:43

What type of relatives?

I'd say she's definitely old enough to make her own decisions. She's also old enough to find her own place. I hope she pays rent and does her fair share at home.

And certainly old enough to cook her own favourite tea for Christmas. Why are you coooking her anything anyway?

What happened with her mum? She sounds selfish, even if she's certainly entitled to spend Christmas as she likes. But, considering that it's usually a family oriented festivity, I'd be sad my DD didn't want to spend it with me. At relatives or not.

KenAdams · 21/11/2017 23:09

What happened with your other stepdaughter OP? Did your husband allow her to stay in the end?

I think a lot of you are out of touch with reality if you think a 25 year old living at home in this day and age is unusual.

HermionesRightHook · 21/11/2017 23:18

I think she has a nice plan and you have a lovely plan for giving her a bit of home comforts and presents even when you'll not be there.

Your husband is a twat though.

ticketytock1 · 21/11/2017 23:23

Titty lip 😂😂

Fatbergs · 21/11/2017 23:30

Titty lip! Where are you from op? Great phrase!!

TatianaLarina · 21/11/2017 23:34

Scouse I reckon.

Giraffey1 · 21/11/2017 23:38

DSD is an adult and presumably it is up to her whether she wants to come with you or not (assuming she is invited). And if she doesn’t, then unless there’s some critical reason why she can’t be left in the home to do what she wants, then YANBU. Why does your DH think differently?

Ethylred · 21/11/2017 23:38

I'm loving titty lip. In fact I'm having it.

Sorry, back on topic: has DH said why he's got his titty lip on?

AnnieAnoniMouse · 21/11/2017 23:42

I was just thinking I hadn’t seen one of your threads in ages.

How is the younger one getting on?

What happened about the wedding?

Why are you surprised your controlling husband is, yet again, acting like a controlling wanker? He’s not going to change anytime soon.

Bananasinpyjamas11 · 21/11/2017 23:42

Yanbu but his upset is about his DD - so I wouldn’t take sides or make it easier for her by making her dinner. That’s rewarding her not being with her Dad.

PurpleWithRed · 21/11/2017 23:46

XDH is like this. Starts talking about Whose Turn it is to have the DCs for Christmas in June. DS is 27 and has escaped to Scotland and a job where he has to work over Christmas. DD (24) gets emotional blackmail if she doesn’t stay with him on ‘his’ years. Nuts.

Originalfoogirl · 21/11/2017 23:57

There is nothing “infantilising” about young adult children living with parents. It is very common with property prices as they are. Things aren’t as simple for this generation of 20 somethings as it was even a decade ago.

I totally agree she is well able to make her own Christmas plans though.

Domani · 22/11/2017 01:59

Yorkshire why should OP cook a special meal on christmas eve just to mollify dh who has a monk on?

SparklyMagpie · 22/11/2017 02:40

Your 'D'H is a controlling bastard and I now remember your past threads and hope DSD is doing well with her pregnancy

They are very lucky to have a stepmum like you and I think it's lovely you'd cook her her favourite meal.

I wouldn't want to go anywhere with your DH either, intact i'd want to stay home with the DSD's

HeebieJeebies456 · 22/11/2017 17:29

It is very common with property prices as they are.

Classic excuse used to defend infantilising adults.

Domani · 22/11/2017 18:06

You sound jealous Heebie, that the young lady is still at home? It seems to bug you for some reason. What's happened to you in the past, were you pushed out of home at an early age or something. Sad and sorry if you were.

LineysBum · 22/11/2017 18:08

Oh the penny has just dropped. Ok aye.

MadisonMontgomery · 22/11/2017 18:13

Can I just say how shocked I am that people don’t know the phrase titty lip?!