to expect DP to pay for his family?

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I am a complete newbie, so please bare with! But my DP has opened a bank account in his name, got his wages paid into it and is just drip feeding me money as I ask for it. His reasoning behind this is that I am not affectionate enough anymore. I am livid. I gave up a good job as he didn't like the environment I worked in, I then took a lower paid job to keep the family going (we have 2 DDs) After being made redundant I took the leap to work for myself which financially has its ups and downs, but DP said he would support me. Now he has cut off all money, I mean all money. He says he's not going to pay my direct debits, I have to pay them myself, which he knows I can't afford to.
I have no money, my business is only in its second year and only providing a "pocket money" income. I suddenly feel so worthless.
Any advice please .....?

It could be OH intends to split up with you, something similar happened to me.

So DP calls me and acts like everything is hunky-dory. After I point out that the problem hasn't been resolved he said he would put the money into the joint account. He has put the money into the "bills" account, but he has only put £200 of the remaining £1500 into the spend account. When I saw this my heart sank.

He is controlling you. He won't change. You deserve better.

There are any number of threads on the Relationships board about abusive arseholes like him. Read some of them and you will see the recurring patterns of behaviour in all of them.

Then ring Women's Aid for advice and make a plan to leave. Do it for your daughters as well as yourself. It is extremely damaging for children to grow up in a home where one partner abuses the other.

Call womens aid, LTB and make a claim with the CMS.

"There seems to have been a serious problem with the transfer as only a small fraction of your wages have been transferred, you should call the bank urgently as its a lot of money to go missing."

You need to leave him, but frankly you need to work in a paid job rather than self-employed if you're only bringing in £200 per month. It's ridiculous working for such a small amount.

He'll never change. Leave.

I'd echo all the previous posters. You need to leave him. Go stay with your parents, get a full time job and get him to pay child maintenance.

This isn't a healthy relationship and long term won't be good for you or your children.

I don't often say this, but leave the bastard.

You don't owe him affection. And he can't withhold family money until you do.

Leave him now! This is abuse. Show your self some respect and leave.
A very good friend got told by her ex husband when she found out he was having a affair, what you going to do about it because you don’t have a job or any money of your own. He didn’t count on her having her self respect still. She throw him out, then phoned up the council and applied for everything she could possibly. 2 months later she moved into a small flat, 6 months later when her divorce came through she moved back to her home city and applied to collage. 5 years later she has just bought her own home, got engaged and her 2 boys are doing well. He on the other hand is living at his parents house as he literally drank his business down the drain, enjoying his new found freedom as he called it. Show yourself some respect xx

He’s abusing you. He’s controlling you. He’s disrespecting you.

He’s a controlling shit partner, never ever give up your job or career for him, he’s toxic! You’ve got to weigh up now your company or getting a paid job then sort your bills and debts - then personally I’d leave him

Financial abuse. Get rid, there's no hope of changing these men. You'd be flogging a dead horse and wasting your good years on a man who is in no way worth it, and will make your years with him miserable. Not a life for anyone with sense to want. Get rid, sort out him paying for his kids, by legal channels if necessary, and have done with it. You will likely get on much better business-wise without his nonsense clouding your life. You can look into seeing what help you can get too, Tax Credits maybe to tide you over for a bit

There is help out there. This man isn't the be all and end all,, the decider of all fates. No man is. You were not born with him, you will get by without him

The self employment obviously working, it sounds like you need to go back to employment and fast. It's never a good idea to rely on a partner financially and even worse when not married.

I don't think he has a responsibility to keep supporting you so you can run a failing business. You BOTH however have a responsibility to financially support your children. He has to pay his share of what the children need, and you need to do the same by going back into a real job.

Seriously leave the bastard

He has you right where he wants you and he's bloody smug about it

Make him pay up properly or fuck off

So, if you 'put out,' he'll reward you by giving you money?

What would that make you?

Have you challenged him on this again?

What about child benefit? Get this paid into your own account asap xx

I would leave him. You wont be in a worse position than you are currently in. You would have money for starters and out of a controlling relationship.
This how you want to live your life? Controlled and abused?
You can make that change.

Run far, run fast. He's an abuser. Women's aid, call them

Call women's aid
Leave him - he's abusive
Nasty prick

I agree with all the PPs: it’s financial abuse. The fact that the responses on this thread have been unanimous shows how cut and dried this is.
Call women’s aid. It is abuse even if he’s not hitting you.
Out of interest what did he say was wrong with the ‘environment’ you worked in before?

What are the direct debits? Are they in your name or joint name? Are they household related? As you will get cut off if you don’t pay so he will see his stupidity. When he is left alone in a cold house!
You need to get out.
I wonder if he would be happy with his daughters ending up with someone like him

If his wage is roughly £1700 after tax? For an EOW and night during the week arrangement with the kids it is roughly £300 a month.
If you took a low income/nmw 16 hour a week job while living with your parents you'd get roughly £650 a month split between child tax credits and working tax credits. That is without childcare included.
Child benefit is £137 for two children.

That would give you an income of just shy of £1100. Surely that is enough to live on intermittently with your parents until you sort out a better job, like you has before.

Although stressful that is much better than this financially abusive arsehole.

*calculations are rough, use csa and entitiled to calculators to see a more accurate figure based on your situation. You may also be entitled to other benefits.