Mum and Brother blame me for his drinking

[AJ65]

It's a long story, but my brother and I have not always got on. This causes my Mum pain, for which I am sorry, but don't know how to heal.

Recently he suggested we go out together in London, where I live, despite him living in the country with my Mum. I assumed we'd go to a matinee and grab a bite to eat before he went back to home in the evening, but he booked a hostel and pre-booked cinema tickets without my knowledge.

I was ill, but hoping to get better in time to go out last Friday. I spoke to our Mum on the Thursday and mentioned I was not well and later that day emailled him with apologies to say I couldn't make it after all.

On Saturday I got an email from my Mum saying he'd just arrived home from London looking sad and was rather drunk (for the first time in 6 months) as I'd cancelled. She'd been out from very early on the Friday so this was the first she'd heard about it.

I thought it over and emailled them both with further apologies early Saturday afternoon and haven't heard anything from either of them since.

Am I being unreasonable to expect a response? I apologised for cancelling, but take no responsibility for his decision to come into London and have a bender. Should I?

Alls well that ends well...

So, after hearing nothing from either my Mother or brother for several days, my Mum called on Tuesday. I couldn't speak at the time, so I called her back later and my brother picked up the phone. I apologised again and we spoke for a little while, no recriminations. I suggested that we try for a matinee next time so he could get back home afterwards rather than stay in a hostel, but he said that he liked to do a couple of things in town on the rare occassions he comes into London.

Then spoke to my Mum, and told her how upset I'd been, thinking they both thought I was a horrible person for cancelling even though I'd told her how ill I'd been feeling. She was really sorry she hadn't been in touh, but said she didn't blame me for him getting drunk, she just wasn't sure I knew the trouble he'd gone to.

So, I guess that's all fine then and it can be okay to send emails if that's the way you usually communicate with family members.

Thanks all.

emails are fine. I communicate with my bro quite often by email even though he lives with us. Why on earth not if it's the qquickest, most efficient way at the time?