to think we need a Mums of teenagers Union or something (lighthearted)

[Somethingfantastic89]

This would be to:

Tell each other what we actually let them wear and watch and buy and do, instead of hearing all the time "ALL my friends do it!" and secretly wondering if we're really the only parent on earth who makes their child miserable.

Share thoughts on how not to go mad every time we hear "yeah sure I'll do it in a minute" and then see our dear teen disappear for a few hours... or urgently need the bathroom... or suddenly remember a missed homework... or feel sick...

To make a list of all the things we need to change so they're happy, all the things they know better than us... starting by who we are, what we eat, where we live, what time we wake up, what we watch, what music we like, how we drive, the choices we make, what we cook ... I'm sure I left out loads.

And much more (suggestions welcome)

I think such a Union would be great
AIBU?

tillytrotter
Of course we know better, our teenagers are teaching us all day long lol

faitch
Teen collective wisdom on social media is a mystery to me

For some strange reason his friends mums think he's a lovely, polite young man

They are, to everybody else - especially relations. It's something which will annoy the parents but they cannot be criticised for. They are not stupid, are they?

Cheer up, they come through it. Our parents did

I'm in please.
Just reading this has made me feel better.
and when the DCs say that all the other kids can/do/have then I can just come on here to the Union, have a quick check with you guys, and go right back to the DCs with the truth. Oh happy days.

Me too, I’m in! DCs 22, 18, 15, 13 And 8.
I AM a Victorian and F**d in the head (apparently, last night anyway!
I have found my people!

Why oh why oh why do I do this to myself and read these threads? I've two gorgeous sproglets of 7 and 9. Yes they're a pain in the arse on occasions but they're so fun and lovely and bubbly. And they're going to turn into teenagers, aren't they? And they're going to be horrible, aren't they?

They already have moments of fury where I struggle and mostly fail to control my temper. I'm not going to cope. Anyway, I'm adding my name to the waiting list for the Union of Horror please. I'll be back in about 4 years' time.

Count me in too! I gray hair, wrinkles, occasional chest pains, name it.. I've got it.

"In a minute" god give me strength.

I need membership from about 3 months ago please!

I'm in. DS (16) weekly boards at school. Have had enough of his room and have cleared up and re arranged the furniture. I may not live until next week.

My son has just seen his stepdad off, who is going away for a very important interview, with a moony at the window.

Wtaf. Suppose it’s better than nothing.

ghostylovesheets I feel for you love. Oh that is wicked. I am rooting for you darling.

I have escorted eldest through this, though at r24 I am not entirely sure she is out the other end.
10 year old has developed the hunch back, the blank stare and the know it fucking all tone...its the bloody tone that does for me.
Then she will come over and tell me she loves me and give me a hug.
How am I not mad?

And just to fuck your head up completely, they can do that Machiavellian thing of knowing which buttons to push. If you're great at dealing with tantrums, they'll find some other way to get to you. If you value academic effort, they'll make fuck all but cover their tracks convincingly till it's all gone to shit.
I'm tempted to write a rejoineder to that Phillip Larkin poem that starts They fuck you up, your mum and dad...
Obviously a childless person.

Can I join please?
Single parent 2DDs (12 & 14)

Most days are a war zone.
A rant and eye roll will follow any request along with a reminder about unfair I am compared to EVERYONE else’s Mum.
And lets not even talk about damp towels, tweezers/Hair brush/ straighteners going walkabout from my room to one of theirs, floordrobes, staying up late and getting up at the very last minute (& HAVING to do streaks even when 2 mins late for a school bus that if they miss will mean a 2 hr 2 bus journey instead!!!)

And then, once in a blue moon, we have an evening where we all curl up together on the sofa watching tv and having a real laugh.
Or turn the music up stupidly loud and dance round the kitchen.
Or discuss proper, current events and they tell me what they think.
And that gives me hope that we might just survive.

In the meantime, can the union ballot for a strike for better terms and conditions please?

I'm in too!

16 year old DD, nearly an adult but not quite. Difficult age.

She went to a party and I was to pick her up at said time at said address. However, she gave me the wrong house number (discovered this wasn't deliberate) so I couldn't find her and she had her phone switched off. I was getting mightily stressed, knocking on random doors at midnight looking for her. When I eventually found the right house, I had a moan and she kicked off in response for "showing me up in front of my friends" !

The following morning when things had calmed down, I tried to explain how worried I was, saying "please try and see it from my point of view". She said "Well I can't see it from your point of view can I, because I'm not you!"

The cheeky mare!

Teens, eh?

ANyone have teenagers who have a boyfriend/girlfriend. I have as you can see from the name and navigating all this and coming up with boundaries is a whole new arena of parenting challenge.

Hello I'd like to join please. I have 2 teenage DS, 18 and 16. Both are at sixth form, eldest hoping to go to Uni next year.

Eldest isn't too bad, alert from being unbelievably messy!

Youngest is a typical moody 16 year old.

A strike hell yes.

Proposed terms:

1. The right to tell teens what to do in our homes without ww3 breaking out /frigging summit talks on the fact they are kids and we are adults.

1. All washing is put away in the proper place as soon as it is put on thier bed/handed over. Failure to do so absolves parent from ever having to do washing again.

1. Washing bags/baskets will be used and brought downstairs when full without parents having to remind them.

1. Information on frigging you tubers, memes, streaks and random other shite is to be kept for other people who actually give a damm.

1. Washing/showering/bathing means using shampoo and soap we are not unreasonable to point this out or expect it.

1. Going to bed means going to sleep not faffing about getting drinks of water then needing loo and repeat for 2 hours.

1. Not getting up when told gives parent the right to squirt you with a water pistol until you get up and dressed. (Its for thier own good)

1. Homework will be done without parent having to remind teen twenty times and worrying about them not doing it. Parents will reward teen who does it within 5 tellings with not killing them.

1. Teens are responsible for thier own rooms, taking out cups, plates, rubbish, airing beds, hoovering and dusting. Cleaning will be done every week on a designated day so parents dont need to rent hasmat suits ever again.

10. Parents have the right to spend sat night climbing into a bottle of wine and sunday morning relaxing.

We need more😉

I have 3 teenagers. 17, 15 and 13. Plus one who, at 12, will join them soon. And a 3 year old.
Its "ill just finish watching this video first!' that kills me.......
That and deciding they will do some odd diet thing that requires special food, the day after i do the weekly shop.

I'm in. I got the p@ss ripped out of me by both teens yesterday because I didn't understand "mans not hot". Then... when they showed me the video and explained it, they told me repeatedly how I was 3 months behind everyone else and must live under a stone. 😧

I'm in.
"Calm yourself woman!"
'oh my god, what did your last slave die of?'
'CBA'
'oh my god you're so embarrassing.'

The latter is the most frequent phrase. Uttered the other night at a 6th form open evening. So I said, you ask the questions then, if I'm such a nightmare, as we toured around hearing about the different A-level topics. "No way' he said.

Mine has just made an unsolicited apology for being a bit grumpy earlier

I am suspicious...

I'm in please. I could have written Scotlass's post word for word.

I thought we were through the worst t - DD only 14 yrs - but apparently not.

I feel liklike I could join now my eldest DD is 9 going on 19 and I already have the door slams ‘I hate you’, ‘ you’re the worst mum ever’ and stomping. I thought I was a few years off yet!

I do have a 13 year old sister though who does that snapchat streaks thing, the first time she sent one to me was a pic of her with tag line streaks. I spent ages trying to see how her hair looked different but thought it looked as it always does! I’m not even that old I’m only 28 and I felt positively pre historic when I had to ask my other sister (26) what it meant! I darent ask the 13 year old she’d never let me live it down!

I’ve just been given this. I thought it rather a coincidence as I joined the Union here this morning....
It’s rather long but it might be relevant for some of us.

Dear Parent:
This is the letter that I wish I could write.
This fight we are in right now. I need it. I need this fight. I can’t tell you this because I don’t have the language for it and it wouldn’t make sense anyway. But I need this fight. Badly. I need to hate you right now and I need you to survive it. I need you to survive my hating you and you hating me. I need this fight even though I hate it too. It doesn’t matter what this fight is even about: curfew, homework, laundry, my messy room, going out, staying in, leaving, not leaving, boyfriend, girlfriend, no friends, bad friends. It doesn’t matter. I need to fight you on it and I need you to fight me back.
I desperately need you to hold the other end of the rope. To hang on tightly while I thrash on the other end—while I find the handholds and footholds in this new world I feel like I am in. I used to know who I was, who you were, who we were. But right now I don’t. Right now I am looking for my edges and I can sometimes only find them when I am pulling on you. When I push everything I used to know to its edge. Then I feel like I exist and for a minute I can breathe. I know you long for the sweeter kid that I was. I know this because I long for that kid too, and some of that longing is what is so painful for me right now.
I need this fight and I need to see that no matter how bad or big my feelings are—they won’t destroy you or me. I need you to love me even at my worst, even when it looks like I don’t love you. I need you to love yourself and me for the both of us right now. I know it sucks to be disliked and labeled the bad guy. I feel the same way on the inside, but I need you to tolerate it and get other grownups to help you. Because I can’t right now. If you want to get all of your grown up friends together and have a ‘surviving-your-teenager-support-group-rage-fest’ that’s fine with me. Or talk about me behind my back--I don’t care. Just don’t give up on me. Don’t give up on this fight. I need it.
This is the fight that will teach me that my shadow is not bigger than my light. This is the fight that will teach me that bad feelings don’t mean the end of a relationship. This is the fight that will teach me how to listen to myself, even when it might disappoint others.
And this particular fight will end. Like any storm, it will blow over. And I will forget and you will forget. And then it will come back. And I will need you to hang on to the rope again. I will need this over and over for years.
I know there is nothing inherently satisfying in this job for you. I know I will likely never thank you for it or even acknowledge your side of it. In fact I will probably criticize you for all this hard work. It will seem like nothing you do will be enough. And yet, I am relying entirely on your ability to stay in this fight. No matter how much I argue. No matter how much I sulk. No matter how silent I get.
Please hang on to the other end of the rope. And know that you are doing the most important job that anyone could possibly be doing for me right now.
Love, Your Teenager

^
That’s fab