Urgent- Misconduct

[Panickcrosse]

Last Friday I took time off work, advising them that my DD(8) was unwell. She often suffers from this illness so work are used to me needing time to organise childcare when it crops up. The truth is I had the day off because I'm suffering from anxiety and depression after a traumatic event I'm not ready to tell anyone about. I'm so anxious work will see through my lies though. I'm due to start in 10 minuites and worried they will request to see my DD health records to prove I did need time off to get her seen by GP. Could they do this? (Please don't lecture me on using DD health issue or about lying, I know how wrong this was. That's why I'm so worried and upset).

If I discussed an incident with GP would they/ could they then report it to police without my permission

Only if they believed you to be an immediate danger to yourself or to other people (or that someone else is a danger to you). It would be very unusual for them to do this- they may well refer you to a crisis team though for immediate treatment if you are having thoughts about self-harming.

Please don't worry about work. It can seem like the world's most important thing, but at the end of the day it isn't.
The thing that concerns me the most is that you and your DD may not be safe at home. If you can get out of that environment by speaking to womens aid or the police, I think you will be able to start seeing the wood for the trees a bit more. You won't feel calm until the source of your anxiety is removed.

Medical records are confidential - surely it wouldn't be possible for them to get hold of them even if they asked, and I don't think they would as they would surely know it wouldn't be allowed??

I think it sounds like you are generally very anxious and feeling rather paranoid, thinking of the worst case scenario even though it's unlikely to happen

I don't think an employer can just sack you like that anyway - I think they have to give a series of verbal and written warnings before it gets that far. It does sound like you are having difficulty seeing the wood for the trees because your anxiety is getting the better of you.

You are clearly struggling at the moment but there is support out there - as people have suggested Women's Aid if you are having issues with your DH (keep trying to get through, I'm sure you will eventually) so they can help you figure out what to do there and give you some practical advice and support. Your GP will be able to back you up as far as work is concerned with your anxiety. I think it would be really good for you to go through your GP and be referred to somebody who you can talk to about your anxiety, who will really be able to support you and listen if you need to talk, and guide you back to a place of calm where you can start to feel like you are coping better.

Just bear in mind that though things can feel insurmountable and impossible there is usually a path back to happiness, and you will find it over time. Take one step at a time, bit by bit, so you aren't overwhelmed.

If part of the issue is that your H is dangerous or has made threats, the police can and will help you by removing him from the family home. Abusive men often claim that they are invincible and above the law, that the authorities will laugh at you or refuse to believe you. This is bullshit. Dangerous men get locked up.

It's not all DH's fault. I think I've accidentally painted him as a monster. The children are completely safe. I was raped 5 years ago and still suffer PTSD/ flashbacks from that. It made me sensitive to certain stuff. I don't really want to go into it right now.

OP, you don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.

But the sooner you talk to someone, the sooner you can be supported and your anxiety eased.

Can you drop an email to HR asking them to call you? Can you call and ask for a GP call back? Keep trying women’s aid.

No one here is blaming your husband, it’s ok. We will be here for you no matter what path you choose to go down.

It’s good you have the day off to take some deep breathes and collect your thoughts. Just go to the gp tomorrow if you can’t face the dragon receptionist. Can you request appointments online with your gp practice?