To think MIL is out of order?

[Butterfr33]

NC for this...

It's DP's brother's 23rd birthday today and he's having a meal with all his siblings and partners. We're the only ones with a DC and with no babysitter, I've said I'll stay with DD so DP can go and enjoy his DB's birthday.

MIL has asked DB if he can can take her DD so his little sister (10yo) along. MIL is not an easy person to say no to. So now a 10yo is going along to a meal along with a bunch of people in their early 20's. She is going to bored, moan and everyone is going to have to mind what they say around her.

AIBU to think MIL is out of order for asking this? Knowing full well that it's not what the birthday boy would want. I feel sorry for him tbh.

I couldn't really get worked up about this. Birthday boy hasn't protested presumably and your DP has agreed so..

I wouldn't do it, but it's up to your dp to say no.

Why shouldn't she go to her brother's meal?

It won't affect you, you won't even be there.

Or could you volunteer to babysit the ten year old at yours, instead of her being bored at the meal?

I think it is not really your place to get annoyed. If it was your birthday then I would definitely say this is unreasonable however as it's your partner's brothers birthday is his place to decide.

If, as you said, it's a meal for all his siblings then why is it out of order for his sister to be there?

It's your bil not your dh.
You're not going
If you say anything to either party - bil or mil you will upset someone.
Stay home with a nice glass of wine out of it all and don't comment on the outcome whichever way it goes!

Why shouldn’t their sister attend?

Are you just pissed off that your DC isn't invited? How old are they? Just take them along.

Or, enjoy a nice night to yourself.

What on earth has this got to do with you? You aren't even going to the dinner because you're staying at home with your DC.

And why wouldn't his sister be at his birthday party?

YABVU.

I think it would be worse to exclude his sister from an occasion that is supposedly for all the siblings.

She's a sibling and it's a meal, don't see a problem. Surely they can just go on out for a drink or to a club later.

You said he was going with "all his siblings."
MIL probably doesn't want her to feel excluded. 10 is not a young child and most adult conversations would be OK for them.

A 10 year old would be fine there. I dont see any problem

I wouldn't do it, but it's up to your dp to say no.

I’m totally lost-what has it got to do with the OP’s dp? Why is it down to him to say no?

Does the 10yo want to go?
Would she be allowed to have a dreaded iPad at the table if she gets fidgity?

Not all 10 year olds are annoying brats. I have known sone positively delightful ten year olds that are great fun at dinners and things.

She's a sibling. All his siblings are going. I'm not seeing the issue.

Even if there was an issue, it should be for BIL to deal with.

It's a family meal

It's not your birthday and you won't be there to be annoyed about it.

We have a big age gap in our family and the youngest always goes to the family birthday meal,

Why on earth do you care?

My eldest DS would have been fine at that type of thing at the age of 10. It's a very different kettle of fish to a smaller child, and if they are eating out in a public place they should keep their language suitable for 10 year old ears anyway out of courtesy to other customers.

Not all 10 year olds are annoying brats

Exactly this. She's his sister. It's a family meal. Why leave her out?