When is it OK for people to body shame my child?

[Glitterbug83]

I am absolutely furious. A while ago, my sister in law came over to visit. She said my 1 year old daughter looked "so skinny". I replied "she's healthy thank you" to which she said she likes babies/kids to be plump. I left it there.

Today, the same sister in law came over and said my daughter looks so skinny. I challenged her on it. I said I don't appreciate people commenting on my child's appearance when I know she's healthy as I don't want her developing a complex. She said she won't develop a complex and walked off in a huff. GRRRRRRRR. Mama bear is on the prowl now! If you've got nothing positive to say about someone's child, don't bloody say it.

Since when has it been okay to comment on a baby's physical appearance like this? For the record, she is actually not skinny and is on the 50th centile.

I think people believe it's a benign comment to say a one year old is skinny/chubby as we don't tend to assign judgment to a child's weight at that age. We also live in a culture where it's seen as okay to tell someone they're 'skinny' in a way that it wouldn't be if they were overweight. So I think she didn't mean any harm by it.

Nontheless you're entifled to feel how you do about it and to request she not say it to your daughter and she should respect that. I'm not sure she'll develop a complex so young but probably better to start young in ensuring she hears positive healthy stuff about her body not comments like that.

Agree, say you noticed she was getting fat and put her on the slim fast plan. Watch their faces!!.
Then tell them to stfu.

YABU to describe yourself as Mama bear.

Completely agree, op. She likes babies to be plump? Like they're just there for her enjoyment, not actual people? Words matter, even with small children. Especially with small children, you might say.

Agree, say you noticed she was getting fat and put her on the slim fast plan. Watch their faces!!. Then tell them to stfu

This

Not really sure why 'mama bear would be on the prowl' over that comment. It wouldn't have bothered me, anyway.

She’s a rude person full stop by the sounds of it. Don’t engage just use the Mumsnet- “Did you mean to be so rude?”

Mama bear....cringe

Its never okay to body shame anyone regardless of age of size.
Now you say your child is a healthy weight.
Are you 100% sure, because its just as unhealthy to be under weight as it is to be over weight.

Your child is one. She hasn't been "body shamed", ffs. Mama fucking bear, Jesus!

She's hardly body shaming, she's commenting on a baby's weight like we all do.

"Ooh look at those chubby cheeks" "look how long and skinny her legs are " etc.

I prefer children with a bit of timber.
I just wanted to sink my teeth into dd and eat her all up. She was a little tubby.

It's not 'body shaming' for goodness sake.

People have commented on babies weights/heights/hair/eye colour since time immemorial.

I couldn't muster up a 'meh' about it to be honest.

YANBU about her comments about your DD.

YABU to use the phrase “Mama Bear”.

Ha- I'd have just snorted and said "did you know you said that aloud?"

People come in all shapes and sizes, children change constantly.

body shaming

What the actual jeff?!!!

mama bear

Christ on a bike!

Too much cringe in one post. Body shaming, mama bear.. I've fallen into an Insta nightmare.

My in laws are always mentioning the size of my boys’ thighs - it annoys me a lot!

Is sister in law a porker, OP?

Dont think its body shaming

I couldn't muster the energy tonne absolutely furious about that tbh. Fair enough if you want to but it's not body shaming to make a comment to you about your child - she may in fact look skinny, so statement of fact rather than a judgement.

I think “mama bear” over reacted

‘Mama bear was on the prowl’...... shudder

People who make comments about kids bodies are fucking idiots. You were right to call her out about it.

Mama bear