To feel sad that I will probably only have one lover

[Generallyok]

DP and I have been together for 17 years. He is a good man but of recent times I have huge regret that I didn't live a little bit before settling down. I was a late developer and although I had a few boyfriends I didn't sleep with anyone else until I met my DP. We have 2 children together and I could never do anything to hurt them but recently I have been thinking more and more that staying monogamous for the rest of my life seems rather depressing. I know it sounds so wrong to admit and would never tell anyone in real life but forever seems too long in out short lives.

Its sad that you feel you have missed out. But you might have had 20 crap lovers before you met your DH...

Until I met my dp 4 years ago. I had a string of ons and flings. I don't think, oh Ive had Joe Bloggs
, Billy Bob Joe Thornton,
Old Tom Cobley and a thousand more. No, . I think oh There's another one that failed.
What have you missed out on meaningless shags.

You've actually only had sex with someone who really cares for you...

Awwlookatmybabyspider she could have also missed out on some really fucking great ones.

Would your husband ever consider poly OP?

You should look at it like a good thing.
You didn’t have to kiss a load of frogs before meeting your prince.
I’m glad I’ve met my prince now but I’d be quite happy to forget the frogs that came first!

What have you missed out on meaningless shags

Well yeah- they can be the best fun. I think that's what the OP means?

Is your sex life good?

I’d love to have married my first - not my actual first cos he’s a twat.

There’s something so sweet about only being with one person.

I can’t speak for everyone else but sex outside of a relationship makes me feel so cold and dirty and lonely.

It’s so over rated. You stick with your DP and concentrate on being happy. 💐

I have a far far far more satisfying sex life with my dp than I ever did through ons and flings.
However we're all different. That I do understand

OP you are in such a fortunate position. I would swap all the mess /damage/ heartbreak to have just been with one person - my dh. However I made too many mistakes.

Would love if my DH was my only. Would've saved so much heartbreak and feeling lost. But I might not have known how different it is though, and how much better sex is when it's with him.

dos it mattr do u not enjoy sex with your partner

Sleeping with people that aren't "the one" is overrated

Meaningless sex is overrated.

Kind of wish I had only had sex with someone I love, rather than a lot of meaningless (and usually drunken) flings.

Give it a few more years, you will forget what sex is...

I actually do sympathize and empathize

I’ve been married 5 years and with my partner 10.

I slept with a few- more than three less than fifteen before him, and none since. I enjoy sex with him, I love him, our marriage is great, but I do feel nostalgia for the old days. The thrill of discovering someone new or something different. I imagine I might feel overwhelmingly curious if he had been my only.

Not sure there’s much to be done about it, for either of us, but I just wanted to say I do get it.

Having sex with various people is certainly not all it's cracked up to be.

You're not missing much OP. Just the kissing frogs period.

If you love your DP then that's all that matters.

I married my childhood sweetheart.

As far as I can see I’ve spent the last three decades (ish) having really excellent sex with someone who loves me. Who has never hurt me, humiliated me, rejected me or forced me.

Speaking to my friends (and reading MN) that’s a very fortunate position to be in.

Despite having had some fun along the way all my friends spent their twenties looking for exactly kind of relationship I was lucky enough to find at 15.

Of course it’s more usual to have more than one partner but I’ve honestly never felt that I’ve missed out. I’m looking forward to another 50 plus years together.

Sometimes more knowledge is a dangerous thing.

A long time ago good friend of mine had very nice bf who she loved very much and was very "in to" sexually as she tells it.

She was seduced by a married man with whom she had (according to her) huge sexual chemistry. The sex was amazing and she left the bf and became a mistress for a long time.

She is now single.

She says that she really regrets the affair because she thinks if she'd never slept with the married man, she would have been perfectly happy forever (including sexually) with bf who wanted to marry her.

Or to put it another way, strawberries are nice and lovely and tasty. If you only ate strawberries your whole life, that is no bad thing. They are delicious. You could be happy (justifiably so) only eating strawberries.

But if someone gave you some chocolate when you'd only ever eaten strawberries, you might now only want to eat chocolate. The chocolate has now ruined the strawberries which actually for you (Before the chocolate) were fine.

Don't eat the chocolate. No good will come of it. Strawberries are great.

Don’t you might also discover you’ve thrown away chocolate to get burnt porridge.

but what if you fancy a chocolate-covered strawberry?....

Hmmmm. Yes. Sex only with your DP can be great.

But OP is huma'n and not a machine ;) and maybe her sex life is less than stellar.

Nature has selected our genes to make us want sex with lots of different people. Our survival as a species has depended on this over millenia. It's a YANBU from me.

Obviously not suggesting you cheat but yeah, not unreasonable.