To be put off a school by it's uniform?

[SnugglyButterflySnuggler]

I know I probably am UR.

DD is 3.4 and we're applying for schools for her. Ready for her to start next September. She has a few SN so even though technically we have a choice (she has an EHCP) we actually don't as there's only 2 primaries schools (out of 6) in our town that are willing to take her with her specific issues.

The closest school to us that would take herI hate the uniform. It's a state school but they insist on blazers from the January of reception year all the way through to year 6. No pinafores or trousers for girls, skirts only. No shorts for boys only trousers. No polo shirts for anything other than PE, full button up shirts and ties. It just seems so formal for such young children. It's an oversubscribed school so it looks like the parents don't agree. I just can't imagine trying to battle DD into a shirt and tie everyday. The website says children are only permitted to remove blazers if a teacher says they can, even the local high school isn't that strict! (HS has blazers but they don't have to be worn at all after Easter and up until then the individual child is allowed to choose when they take it off) This is actually our closest school even if DD didn't have SN, so this is likely were we'll be allocated.

So AIBU to be put off a school by it's uniform, and is there anything I can about it? I am going to put the other school down as first choice, but I don't think we'll get it as we're just outside of it's catchment for the last 3 years and SN in catchment come above SN out of catchment for that school

The plan will get you the school you choose.

For my son it was over 3 miles away in a different town. The only problem was that in doing that and choosing the best school for him he was deemed ineligible for transport and he was unable to cope with public transport and I didn't drive. Also was a single mother and had another 2 children both at different schools to get there at the same time. My mother changed job in the end to get him there.

But he went to the right school. Hope you find a solution for your little one.

If her sensory issues affect her behaviour, which presumably they absolutely do or she wouldn’t have any symptoms

But the OP says her special needs do not affect her behaviour: "because her although her needs are complex they don't affect her behaviour"

So what is affecting her behaviour and attitude towards school uniforms then?

Why pick holes in something you either know nothing about or just want to ridicule?

But flowerpot1234 the OP also said “DD has a Sensory Processing Disorder and can only wear soft fabrics. She just about compromises on things like skirts or trousers, but Tshirts have to be soft cotton.”

TheHungryDonkey - Why criticise a poster that asks a neutral and vital question to the OP's situation and then be so arrogant as to claim they know nothing about it or assume a negative motivation? Why not just be polite and answer the question, if you can.

I wasn’t being rude. You are picking at the OP in a bloody minded way. I expect in this context the needs don’t affect the child’s behaviour because reasonsble adjustments are put in place to support her.

A deviation in uniform would be one such adjustment. Of course you know that full well from the million other posts before now but you just want to do a little stirring. Bored?

The OP has already said her DD wears an alternative to the official nursery uniform.

No you're not being U at all. I have a daughter with SEN , she wears stretchy black trousers and a polo shirt for school. Thats all the uniform that is neccesary, IMO, and that goes for any school, not just primary
I honestly don't understand the mentality behind making young children wear shirts, ties and blazers for school.It's like making them wear fancy dress, absolutely absurd and pointless.
I also would have issues with a school that doesn't allow girls to wear trousers. That's just sexist and unacceptable in 2017.

TheHungryDonkey
I wasn’t being rude.
Yes, you were.

You are picking at the OP in a bloody minded way.
Asking a neutral question of the OP is not picking at the OP. As for a bloody minded way, what planet are you on?

now but you just want to do a little stirring. Bored?
Stop being so rude and aggressive. What the hell is wrong with you TheHungryDonkey?

Physically being unable to tolerate the feeling of certain fabrics or restrictive clothing is not a behavioural issue or an attitude any more than an allergy is.

Pressed send too quickly above. A dislike as in refusing to wear it and throwing a tantrum (for example only), as opposed to expressing a dislike and a preference

Comparing a child with SN and sensory problems surrounding clothing to a tantrum or even a dislike shows a woeful lack of understanding for what OP and her daughter are going through. It’s not a neutral question, neither is the next one. It does come across like you’re on the wind up.

AlexanderHamilton has it spot on.

If her special needs do not affect her behaviour, it will not be the special needs which would cause any dislike of wearing a school uniform

Which university did you get your medical degree from FlowerPot?

I'd never willingly send my DC to a school that doesn't allow all its children to wear trousers.

I think you've been given incorrect information, with an EHCP you don't apply through the normal channels. Also with the criteria school 2 have your DD would only not get in there are no spaces after siblings have been allocated as she has priority over everyone else living in catchment. Call your DDs SEN officer at your local council to clarify.

Thank you AlexanderHamilton. I am sitting here in disbelief at the aggressiveness of MyHungryDonkey.

My question came from the perspective of the school adjustments which the OP was asking about, what might be possible and was has been refused etc. Regarding the EHCP, if as the OP says the special needs do not affect behaviour, I was wondering if whatever the EHCP says has gone far enough to account for the inability to wear 'harder' clothing, and was able to explain to a Head the difference between the attitude that is able to compromise on skirts and trousers and the attitude that cannot compromise on fabric. If the EHCP directly links the SPD as an inability rather than a preference, surely the school must accommodate it. If not, then either the EHCP needs revisiting or the other motivation would need to be identified.

Don’t mix up aggressiveness with a statement of facts.

TheHungryDonkey Fact stating is not attacking someone for motivations made up in your paranoid head.

Paranoid? You’re funny.

I would be very put off. I think it would indicate they had an old fashioned, poor, inflexible attitude, unlikely to suit a child with SPD or similar.

Uniform was a factor when I was choosing DS' secondary school. He doesn't have a problem with fabrics (we are just starting the process of getting some sort of dx of ASD but different set of issues) but he's a bit of a PigPen, can't keep his shirt tucked in or his tie straight, and I had heard that some local schools gave detentions for an untucked shirt, so avoided them. Mindless petty clothing rules are generally an indication of a bad school - either a rampant bullying problem or a wish to get rid of low-income families or kids with SEN so the results look better.
Pissiness about uniform, especially an uncomfortable, impractical uniform for primary age DC suggests an awful school.

Listen to Ceto - you've been given incorrect advice about primary admissions given your DD has an EHCP.

Your LA SEN team need to arrange a transitions meeting where you can name the school you would like. We were asked to pick 3, just in case. The LA will then send a copy of your DD's EHCP to these schools and they will be given the chance to say whether they can support her or or not. Given what you've said about your DD's difficulties I doubt any mainstream would legally be able to refuse your DD.

Once you've found out if they will admit your DD, you will be asked which one you want naming on her EHCP, and then you should receive an amended copy with the new school named on it.

You shouldn't need to fill in the online form at all.

Really shocked at the schools saying they can't meet her needs when she is coming with an EHCP. What funding has she actually got on her EHCP?

I would be making sure to tell the LA SEN team about this. After all, as the SEN code of practice says, every teacher is a teacher of SEN.

Regardless of the sn yanbu at all. I have stubborn 4 and 2 yos and the idea of ever trying to get them into a uniform like that sounds awful.

MyOtherProfile. EHCPs don't come with funding in my area, schools can apply for exceptional needs funding for for example a 1-1 but they still need to fund the first £6000 (13 hours) from their own budget. This means schools will try to put off parents with SEN children/those with EHCP as they are expensive, they will also not fight for funding as they have to pay so much themselves before getting extra help.