To be put off a school by it's uniform?

[SnugglyButterflySnuggler]

I know I probably am UR.

DD is 3.4 and we're applying for schools for her. Ready for her to start next September. She has a few SN so even though technically we have a choice (she has an EHCP) we actually don't as there's only 2 primaries schools (out of 6) in our town that are willing to take her with her specific issues.

The closest school to us that would take herI hate the uniform. It's a state school but they insist on blazers from the January of reception year all the way through to year 6. No pinafores or trousers for girls, skirts only. No shorts for boys only trousers. No polo shirts for anything other than PE, full button up shirts and ties. It just seems so formal for such young children. It's an oversubscribed school so it looks like the parents don't agree. I just can't imagine trying to battle DD into a shirt and tie everyday. The website says children are only permitted to remove blazers if a teacher says they can, even the local high school isn't that strict! (HS has blazers but they don't have to be worn at all after Easter and up until then the individual child is allowed to choose when they take it off) This is actually our closest school even if DD didn't have SN, so this is likely were we'll be allocated.

So AIBU to be put off a school by it's uniform, and is there anything I can about it? I am going to put the other school down as first choice, but I don't think we'll get it as we're just outside of it's catchment for the last 3 years and SN in catchment come above SN out of catchment for that school

Girls can't wear trousers!? What utter crap!

This would put me off. Very sexist - and cold in winter! Plus replacing tights gets expensive. I never seem to replace trousers because of a hole in the knee.

There is no way a girl wearing trousers to school will damage her education.

it would totally put me off.

My DS's school its polo shirt, jumper and everyone then has a choice of skirt, trousers, tailored shorts.

Then for year 5&6 they add in a tie, proper shirt and Blazer to help them get used to it before secondary.

DS is in yr6 has ASD/ADHD/SPD/DCD and he will not wear a tie, refuses point blank, the shirt took some work because of the collar, and we didn't get him into a blazer until the last 2 weeks, but the school are perfectly happy to accommodate him as they feel its more important he be there and be comfortable, than provoking a meltdown because of rigid uniform rules.

The heads assertions of 'if one does it, everyone will' is very easily combated, as would she/he say that if your child requires specialist equipment? wobble cushions, pencil grips? Its an adjustment made and provided based on their SEN. Children who do not need those adjustments don't get them and they are not refused because 'everyone will want it' that's a ridiculous argument.

DS1 goes to a primary school that's a slight pain for me to get to compared to the closer one. One of the big reasons was the uniform. DS1 is autistic and wouldn't cope with a tie etc. (plus, he's fucking five - why should a kid that young have to put up with having to wear a tie??).

The school he goes to was fine with him having e.g. a zip-up hoodie in the school colours because he couldn't cope with sweatshirts going over his head.

If she has adjustments to her uniform now I think you are right to worry.

You say it's one of only 2 schools that will take her. Does that mean that they have some other children with similar needs, and how do they manage that?

My DS, age 8, is being assessed for ASC so not diagnosed. No one batted an eyelid at his absolute refusal to wear a sweatshirt through the whole of infants. To have made him wear a shirt and tie might have been fine, but it might also have put significant barriers in his way. Perhaps go back to the SENCO or even the head and ask whether they have had children with similar sensory issues and what's happened about their uniform. Talk about how it makes everything more difficult for her, putting barriers in her way that make it harder for her to access the learning. I've found that when people realise my DS needs allowances they are generally good at making them - what is deemed a strict rule to everyone else suddenly doesn't apply. This might happen. So I think you are right to find it off-putting, but it might be worth pushing a bit before you write it off.

These fucking shirt/tie/blazer uniforms are such a waste of everyone's time and effort in the first place. They're often both overpriced and badly made; the insistence on white shirts for kids is idiotic as they always look like shit within half a term or so of washing, and jobs which demand that sort of clothing (the bullshit argument always given for making DC dress like the 1950s just came back) are getting fewer and fewer.

God no.

Just no.

And that's without the sexist crap with the shorts and trousers

Sounds awful

I just could not send a 4 year old to a school where they force them to wear blazers. YANBU!

Can they make uniform compulsory in state
School? I am in Scotland and whilst the wearing of uniform is promoted and encouraged it can’t be enforced as compulsory - at primary anyway.

My kids uniform is shirts and ties and I like it, looks smart and cheaper than spending money on crap logo items.

Uniform wouldn't bother me too much but head is of the attitude that if they do it for one then the others will want it is a really unhelpful attitude when you have a child with sensory issues who will need some things adapted. You could argue it and they would have to give in and make reasonable adjustments but I would be worried that if they aren't willing to budge on something this simple then the entire time at primary is likely to be one battle after another.

Is the other school's uniform one that your DD is likely to be able to wear? or at least wear something not too noticeably different?

My 4yo wears a blazer, hat and tie etc to school I think it’s adorable! However, if it’s going to cause grief on a morning then definitely be cautious.

Blazers, skirts and a tie for four year olds? That is madness. Let children be comfy.

Yanbu - she’s got to be comfortable !

Sounds awful. If avoid it for all the reasons other posters have mentioned.

Sparkly The other school has polo shirts for reception to year 4 then shirts for year 5 and 6. DD is just about accepting polo shirts but I don't think she'd wear a logoed one, however the colour is one available in the local tesco/asda/M+S so she'd be in near enough the same uniform. Trousers are a different matter but she will wear leggings and joggers so I could find those in the school colours.

I'd run a mile. To me it says so much about their attitude to the kids, sexism, inflexibility and so on.
Our school has optional uniform but no real rules around it: most wear it, some wear part of it etc - massively over subscribed state school which is a national lead school.
Making 4 year old wear blazers when very few work places now even insist on suits is bonkers. Its social snobbery / people thinking they look cute. Dito skirts only for girls - that's a massive red flag.

Sorry if she has an ECHP you don't go through general admissions.

Go with the school and education over the uniform.
We had this same thing and did a pros and cons list and it tipped the balance.
We went with the other, But after a year she was deeply unhappy and we moved her to the tie wearing school! This for a child that needed seamless everything and had meltdowns putting tights on. It really was a gamble. That said she has been so much happier, her learning has come on so much it’s unbelievable, and although we still get the occasional disagreement over clothes it seems to have mostly been accepted as norm. In hindsight I would disregard it over other aspects

It will be the kind of school that spend hours enforcing silly uniform rules for 4 year olds and not letting them express themselves as children. Uniform is a very English thing and thus linked the old class system. In our area the most snobbery based school has just gone back to shirts and ties when they have been polos for years. Wont make a dot of difference to teaching standards but will enforce their elitism

Yanbu op, blazers on infant school kids is ridiculous. Shirt and tie at that age is too much as far as I'm concerned never mind a blazer!

I really wouldn't worry about distance if you have an EHCP for a mainstream school unless you need LA funded transport as well. Are the LA asking you to give a list of preferences? What a school says to a prospective parent can be different to how they would respond to a formal approach from the LA so I would get the uniform sensory issues nailed down in the EHCP and stress the importance of this to the LA SEN team.

I think her being the only child not in uniform would not be a good idea.

I wore a tie and laser from year 1 and it was fine. She won't know any different. It's clothes.

Seems to be a lot of reverse snobbery on this thread- people trying to look down on school who have smart uniforms.

YANBU. Blazers are crap.

I too thought you couldn't enforce uniform for primary schools; what happens if you just take them in wearing whatever clothing they will accept / you can afford etc? Can they refuse to allow them to stay? Has anyone ever tested that? It's utterly ridiculous to have kids in such unchild friendly clothing, SEN or not!

That school's horrible inflexible nature will be hell on earth for your DD. They will try to baulk you at every turn and not give a shiny shit how distressed your child will be. School can be extremely difficult for a child with sensory issues and a school that will attempt to smooth all the obstacles they can foresee before they even cause a problem for her should be grabbed with both hands.

I think it sounds like that school with the strict uniform will not actually want your DD and will do as little as possible for her in the hope that you will move her somewhere else. It will damage her in the meantime but their aim is to keep their school looking good. Your DD will most likely be MISERABLE there.

Use her EHCP to get into a school that is popular with parents of children with SEN. There will be good reasons why they are trying to get their dc in there.