To think that the council shouldn't put problem families together

[dimondjedi9]

Either side of me I have lovely neighbours, they care about their children and just generally want a nice peaceful life.
Going further down and there are many problem families, police attending regularly and kids left to run riot.
I live in a new estate and to begin with it was lovely, now it has an awful reputation.
I don’t like my son playing out because of bullying and when you try to discuss it with the parents you get a lot of abuse.
I don’t understand why the council put all these families in the same place, it creates such an awful environment.

What a fucking horrible thread, I live in an HA property and i dont see anything described here.

Kath eugenics didnt work so well 70+ years ago ...........

Im also childfree by choice.

If they had something to do then they might not trash the place! Closing all the youth clubs and community centres was utterly disastrous in our local area. Ironically it’s probably cost more money dealing with the fallout!

So boredom is an excuse for violence and destruction now?!

Kath is the one who thinks if poor ppl cant afford electric and have meds they need to store in the fridge they should leave their meds stored at the pharmacy and trek to the pharmacy every time they need to take a dose.

Because in Kaths world pharmacies are open 24/7

Its on the Universal Credit self employment 5 weeks thread.

What legal system coconutella. You are aware that Legal Aid has been stripped to the bone right?

And yes, kids that routinely misbehave do end up getting rewarded

This is nothing new though. I have been working for over 30 years either as a youth worker, in family support, in residential etc
I am a big believer in people paying for services even if it is a token amount so that people have ownership of something rather than expecting everything being given to them 'just because' Years ago I was orgainising an outdoor residential to the Peak District for the kids in my youth club. I was allowed to charge £10 per child and they got transport to and from the venue ( approx 60 miles in each direction) food and accommodation for two nights and outdoor instruction. I will never forget one of the more challenging kids shout out ' Tell them ( us youth workers) to fuck off, they are ripping you off. Just piss about at Spar and nick stuff and the YOT will send you to Alton Towers for free!'
That mindset from 1999 hasn't change. It has, in fact, got worse. We get parents phoning us to say that their child doesn't want to go to school today and they are just letting us know and could we send a taxi at around 11 o'clock to take them. These parents are the teenagers from 1999 and they are still expecting and wanting handouts.
It isn't easy working with families!!

coconuttella it’s not often I’m lost for words, but you’ve managed it. Your views are out of place in this century, they belong in the days of workhouses and orphanages.

Obviously there are some outrageous posts on here, but that shouldn't derail a reasonable discussion of what should be done.

Punishing children for their parents' (lack of) parenting is clearly hopeless, but then again the pattern just repeats if there are no sanctions for anti-social behaviour.

I was thinking, on passing the new council houses near me, what happened to people planting vegetables in their front gardens? CH estates always used to have rows of beans etc in the front and people would sit at the back. What has given rise to the idea that it is acceptable to chuck your rubbish in the garden instead of keeping it nice, nay using it to grow things?

Decent play and youth projects can have an influence on some kids brought up in challenging families, and help set them on a better track. This does not mean trips to Alton Towers, but proper work to try and give them a bit of what their parents don't.

The truth is no one has a magic wand to solve issues caused by these families. If they had it would have been put in place long ago. But some kids do break the cycle, and don't always get much support to do so.

PP is right that getting stuff for free when you misbehave has been the case for a long time. I'm in my 50s now, brought up in poverty but by parents who both worked and before benefits were really a thing.

I can remember my DM talking about kids were getting taken on holiday and taxied everyday to school because of their behaviour whereas we all behaved and had to tromp miles in the snow with no suitable footwear to get to school and never went on a holiday. She thought it was wrong then and it still is. I also said that rather than given star pupil awards to DC who decide to beahve for a week to get it then revert to type, they should give it to the same immaculately behaved child every single week so as to make them sit up and take notice.

If they had something to do then they might not trash the place! Closing all the youth clubs and community centres was utterly disastrous in our local area. Ironically it’s probably cost more money dealing with the fallout!

hmm So boredom is an excuse for violence and destruction now?!

Violence and destruction have always been there in some shape of form. Most youth clubs were never open every single night and those that were open several times a week often had specific projects eg Monday Wednesday Thursday, senior group 11-17 from 18.45hrs to 21.00hrs. Junior club Tuesdays and Fridays for example. There was still plenty of time for kids to be destructive if they wanted to be.
Although many youth services have been cut to the bone many do Targeted youth work trying to engage with the challenging young people in certain areas.

As for not having anything to do, what utter poppycock.
My kids never went to a youth club or wouldn't go to a YouthZone. I worked for a while at the Factory YZ in Manchester. It costs next to nothing to go there and the amount of activities are amazing. There are a few up and down the country but even when I worked at the Youth Zone in Oldham parents would say 'There's nothing for the kids to do'
Off the top of my head activities that are free or a nominal charge are
Cadets
Sports centers at certain times with local council youth card
Duke of Edinburgh ( it can be expensive going through the school but often a YPS will run it for economically disadvantaged families.
Astro turf at certain times.
Skate parks
Scouts and Explorers

I'm not saying every Borough has every facility but it is another way of showing that people can't think for themselves and seek out an activity without it being handed on a plate to them. I've heard it in my own area ' oh the youth club has shut down, there's nothing for the kids' These were the same kids that would set the fire alarm off sand spray the extenguishers all over the corridor.( Like they cared how much it cost to get a fire and saftey management company in to repair it) try and bully others with pool cues, bring fucking big dogs in to the centre to try and intimidate, dismantle the loo so there would be a flood, try and set fire to the gym mats by the judo club!!

People need to take responsibility for their actions/
I know I have had a mini rant there but when I think about the number of times myself or my staff have been attacked or ended up in hospital because of these feral yobs and people say there is fuck all for them to do!!!

I can remember my DM talking about kids were getting taken on holiday and taxied everyday to school because of their behaviour whereas we all behaved and had to tromp miles in the snow with no suitable footwear to get to school and never went on a holiday.

I always think it's best not to make blanket judgements because we never know circumstances. At the DSs last school. They were two children that got 'taxied everywhere'. A parent always bemoaned how X and Y's parents were given special treatment.

They were in care.

I say put them all together.

These people have free education and healthcare, a functioning legal and policing system to protect them, and housing benefit to put a roof over their heads. They may nonetheless struggle with poverty but their behaviour is their responsibility!

This x1000

@JonSnowsWife spot on!

Some kids don't stand a chance.

I was at school listening to a child read who needed extra help. I said brightly, "Oh, you'll be able to read this to your mum when you get home!" "I don't live with my mum. At the moment I'm living with my mum's ex and his girlfriend." Even worse was when she read a little and I murmured encouragingly, she asked me for money . I didn't know whether to say anything to her teacher, but the child left the school the next week. When I watched that Rotherham programme on tv it called this incident to mind and I can imagine how vulnerable girls get sucked into things and then create poor family circumstances themselves.

Jesus wept, now you want people's kids taken away from them before the kids even do anything!

Yes. Being adopted is not a punishment. The idea is to give the child a decent start in life. You know, as opposed to being beaten and sworn at, witnessing drug addiction and alcoholism.

What a disgusting thread!

What a disgusting thread!
Why?

Yes. Being adopted is not a punishment. The idea is to give the child a decent start in life. You know, as opposed to being beaten and sworn at, witnessing drug addiction and alcoholism.

And where are all these adoptive parents going to come from?

Thankfully, we live in a society where people's children are only taken away from them if they are at risk, not because some judgmental old fart doesn't like their parents' lifestyle.

What?

Not wanting children to be beaten, sworn at and/or brought up by drug addicts or alcoholics is... judgemental???

Really? Come on! You think the above are perfectly good ways to bring up a child??? That’s insane and downright cruel.

Children deserve better. Society deserves better.