To be upset at a woman kicking my friendly 4 month old golden retriever?

[Marshmallowpops]

I am so upset. I've just come back from a walk with my puppy. She's a lovely friendly golden retriever. I've been letting her off leash in the local park as the trainer said it's best to do it early. She is really friendly and loves to play with other dogs- she often meets them all for a play date in the park in the morning- there are always lots of dogs off leash in this park. Normally when there aren't other dogs she trots along beside me, sometimes going off to sniff but coming back when called. She's not too bothered about people but will say hello and sit down (not jump up) as she is trained to do. Today it was dark at 8pm and I let her off as normal, she just trots along and comes back when called. But today she saw two women, one with a baby in a carrier) so went over to say hello (she's normally not bothered but today was a little hyper), but she just trotted over like she does, really gently and not aggressive at all. I said to the woman 'don't worry she won't jump up she'll just sit down and say hello', but before my puppy had even reached the woman, the woman started kicking her away! I could understand if the dog seemed aggressive but she's the sweetest thing. She kicked her repeatedly, my puppy came back to me, I put her on the lead, and the other woman started having a go at me asking if I thought it was acceptable for my dog to go over and attack her baby. She was smoking a cigarette. I wanted to say that is going to cause more harm to the baby than my dog ever would but I didn't. I know of course that as a mother you are very protective of your baby but I just would never attack a friendly dog. Maybe they've had bad experiences in the past. I'm just very upset. I know not everyone likes dogs but that park is so dog busy that I thought everyone was used to it by now. I think I'll keep her on a lead at night until she's really 100% with recall. She's about 90% now. So I know there will be people who say I'm in the wrong letting her off but if she had an aggressive bone in her body I would never let her off.

You think it won’t happen, Nancy? Do you carry bags to pick up dogshit whenever you’re out with your animal? People didn’t see that ever happening 40 years ago.

It's not going to happen

I've met many a small child that can bite, I dont tend to randomly kick out at kids though when I see them in the park!

A four month old puppy is tiny. Absolutely shocking

How about people who have no interest in dogs and no idea what a 4, 6 or 8 month-old dog is capable of doing? I would be absolutely terrified if at night a hyperactive dog came near my baby. First learn to control your dog. You know your dog well, how would I know what to expect from her?

A four month old puppy is tiny

Have you not read the thread and previous posts? A 4 month old retriever isn't tiny at all, it's about the size of a small Springer spaniel.

At 4 month old a retriever is not a tiny puppy and if one ran over to me and my baby in the dark I would probably push it away with my foot too. I don't like dogs at the best of time and I definitely don't want them near my baby.

On a separate note, have you tried a long training line?

OP 4 months is still fairly young in terms of predicting what your dog can and can't do; if the recall isn't perfect get some lessons booked in at your local dog school (we have a welsh springer who was a complete twat when she came to us, a year of Bad Dog school and she was almost the perfect dog, except that her breath still smelled like despair because she liked to steal cat turds out the litter box and no amount of Bad Dog School could train her out of that habit). I cannot recommend those classes highly enough; it's not an admission of failure or guilt or that there's anything wrong with you or Pup, it's just a way to increase their understanding of your commands.

I honestly think all dog owners should attend classes with their dogs for the first year or so of ownership. It would make such a difference to the way we perceive dogs in public if more people could see dogs with great recall, under control of their owners.

Feel your pain OP. I have a Golden and he loves to run up to people and say hello and try and make them scratch his ass.

I have learned the hard way that when we lived in a town a lot of adults - and nearly all children we encountered were scared of him. He was only let off on beach or in a dog park and I just had to be extra vigilant.

Nowadays we live in the country and it’s much easier because everyone has dogs. I always put him on a lead around other dogs with a lead but he doesn’t get screamed at by dogless people.

You kind of have to just accept that some of us love dogs and some people don’t. We might not understand it but they just won’t want even the cutest puppy rushing up to them. Horrible to kick her though.

"Pretty much all parks have a grassy public area used for exercising dogs and an enclosed dog free zone for children, why the dog haters or those with small children cannot just use the enclosed areas l don't understand."

Im not a dog hater but im scared of them. I was bitten as a child.
My local parks have playgrounds for children but no other areas. So as an adult with no children am i supposed to sit in the playground to avoid dogs? Or not go to the park at all?
I work as a nanny and i look after young children. In order to get to the playground we have to get across the whole park. So many dog owners dont seem to realise that their dog might be small to an adult but seems huge to a toddler. I hate in when they laugh and say 'oh he is just saying hello'. Say hello to someone else.. someone who looks like he wants to say hello to your dog. Not a crying toddler holding onto my leg.

Okay I've just managed to glance through some of the responses, this post has definitely opened my eyes to the attitudes of some people, and also the horrible experiences some people have had with dogs which I completely understand can affect attitudes towards any dog or puppy. I think I was definitely naive as I've never really had a bad experience with a dog, most of the people who come into my house love my puppy (although one girl is terrified so I always keep her away, but on the other hand one girl was very scared initially and then I introduced my puppy slowly and now she is asking her mum for a dog!) but reading some of these posts it's clear that dog phobia is more common than I thought.

But I really don't assume everyone wants a dog saying hello to them. When walking along pavements (always on leash obviously!) I am very very strict with my puppy that she must not say hello to passers by so by now she is very very good on the leash and doesn't get distracted (except when there's another dog, then she wants to say hello.) She obviously appears well behaved as a couple of weeks ago she was off leash in the park playing fetch and a mum with a baby in a pram spoke to me saying she'd seen me walking around a lot and she asked if I was training her to be a guide dog! So yes I never really thought she would be mistaken for a violent attacking dog (I think someone mentioned jumping up and barking, she did not do this!!)but as previously admitted I was wrong and naive. Some people have had bad experiences so any dog is scary. I've admitted my mistake and learnt from it and I'm really not sure some of the recent comments have been that constructive.

I've explained my bad wording in first post a few times already so can't really be bothered to keep repeating myself!

Thanks again to anyone who's actually bothered reading my follow up posts and provided thoughtful insight on either side of the argument.

I do think the woman is an idiot.

However, I have a 6 month old puppy and an older dog and I kind of accept that if she does run up to someone and get told off or bitten by another dog that it would be my fault for letting her do so in the first place.

I own horses and my horse tried (and luckily failed) to stamp on a puppy that ran between her legs in a park. I felt terrible but at the end of the day the puppy should have been on a lead with unreliable recall.

It's the sort of risk you take when you let a puppy run free, that something or someone may take a dislike to it if you can't recall it fast enough (and believe me nobody's dog is perfect- mine have had selective deafness more than once!)

I don't for one moment think kicking your puppy is okay but I would reconsider allowing your dog to greet random strangers. I don't allow mine to approach anyone at all ever unless invited for this reason and also because I want them to focus on me not others (and because people hate German shepherds with a passion however friendly)

I hope your dog is okay Op.

Yabu
You think you know what your dog will do.

You think it’s friendly and ohhh so cute.
Dogs are like kids .... no everyone thinks yours is great!
Keep it on a lead around other people

Marsh
Most of the replies after your last posts were replies to other posters not you.

People who still think its ok for thier dog to go running up to someone who doesn't want it near them while they blame the person for not wanting thier 'darling' to be nosing at them wipung snot all over thier clothes, jumping on them or biting them.
Fair play for realising this yourself but some people still dont get it.

I agree with willow. It's great that you asked for advice and have listened to a variety of opinions before reflecting. A lot of the comments aren't aimed at you directly.

Op, the thing is that dogs can bite even if they dont growl/ bark/ look like they are on the attack. The dog that bit me as a child was not acting violently at all. The owner said it had never happened before. There is always a first time and some people would rather be safe than sorry. ( also, i know some people are just severly allergic, unfortunately)
It is sad, but those bad childhood experiences can have lasting effects. I actually find dogs cute, just unpredictable.
My comment was not aimed at you (although i know you are the OP..) but at the posters who suggested that people who dont like dogs or have young kids shouldnt go to parks that are frequented by dogs.. I think that is an extreme suggestion. All parks are frequented by dogs and not all have dog free play areas, and even if they do, people might need to walk across the park to get to it. When out and about i have observed irresponsible dog owners who ruin it for everyone, including other dog owners.
You sound like a sensible, responsible dog owner , and someone who is willing to listen and emphatise with others. Best of luck with your puppy!

YABU. You scared a woman walking with her baby and you put your dog in a position where it was kicked and you couldn't help it.

"It's ok, s/he's friendly" is one of the most irritating phrases a dog owner can utter yell from a distance when their dog is too far away for them to control. It is not ok.

The owner said it had never happened before
owners always say that, they're hardly going to say oh he's always sinking his teeth into passing strangers now are they
I'm sure that in most cases the owners of bitey dogs are aware that the dog has tendencies, they just discount all attacks because they dont think it was the dogs fault, 'he bit you because you startled him' etc etc

any dog which responds like that to being startled is dangerously out of control and should be muzzled in public

OP ignore the dog haters. You cannot train a puppy to have great recall if you keep it leashed. Obviously you need to lead train your pup but all dogs need to be excercised according to their breed. A dog who is kept on a lead will not receive the exercise it needs. This is where most dog owners fall down.....

Also intelligent breeds of dogs such as GR's need to keep their brains stimulated. I am sure you are using brain stimulating exercises in your training. If not look at youtube for ideas or buy a book.

Please don't be put off training your pup by posts from those who have no clue. Positive puppy training will ensure you and your dog will have a great life together, without impacting on the lives of those who don't matter and their precious offspring.

Hopefully, someday soon, it will become the law that parents are held responsible for their out of control children..... I won't hold my breath.

I have tried to read the whole thread but failed. Human babies/ toddlers get away with everything. But young dogs are somehow a "menace" whatever they do when they are learning. Puppies have to learn, same as humans (and they tend to be a lot quicker about it) On the numerous occasions that a toddler (off the lead) has approached my dog (s), would it be acceptable for me to kick your child?

all dogs need to be excercised according to their breed
and if you dont have the facilities to exercise your dog without it inconveniencing other people then you should not own a dog.

A dog is not an inevitable part of life, its a leisure time activity and it should not impact upon other people.

The comparison with humans doesnt hold water, we have children to be the next generation of workers, taxpayers, innovators, carer for the elderly etc.
Parents make a huge sacrifice to bring up children for the benefit of society as a whole.
Dog owners selfishly indulge themselves falling in love with their fur babies which are at best of no benefit to wider society and at worst an annoyance and a danger.

Bluesky....You know a lot about dogs then? NOT! There's room for everyone in this World. Your human offspring are not the be all and end all...

OP is set on training her puppy to not inconvenience anyone. We can't fault her for that!

Blueskydreams "Dogs are of no benefit to society?" What about guide dogs for the blind? Disability assistance dogs? Police dogs? Disaster rescue dogs?

You seem to blindly hate an entire species which makes you sound a little unhinged. I'm not sure why you're on a discussion forum if you can't see that there are sometimes more than one valid point of view.