August baby at a disadvantage to Sept baby?

[peachytacos]

AIBU to think that having a birthday in spring/summer won’t massively affect how successful your child is in school long term?

I completely understand in the first few years at school the difference is significant, as a year is such a large jump, but surely as they grow older it evens out?
I’m ttc no 2 and was speaking to my close friend about it today who told me its mean to ttc this month in case I end up with an August baby
She’s naturally very blunt and doesn’t mean anything nasty by it but she strongly feels that a baby born in August is at a massive disadvantage throughout. I know it’s highly unlikely to happen anyway but it’s made me think.

Thoughts/opinions please!

I was a bit when I first encountered the UK school system, as I couldn't get my head around the idea that pupils moved up a year every year regardless of how they were doing.

I was used to a system where ever since I can remember (maybe year 3 equivalent?) you had to pass end of year exams to get to the next year. And there would often by one or two people who "failed" and had to repeat a year. And even in the earliest years, when children were too young for exams, there must have been some sort of assessment. I know because I had to repeat the first year (year 1, reception didn't exist.) My report card said I was "immature." I think I probably went from being the youngest in my year to the oldest. With hindsight, I suspect this made an enormous difference to my life. By the end of primary school I was top of my class in my state primary, and received scholarships and bursaries that enabled me to go to a private boarding school, where I was top of my class through-out.

Maybe a compromise system in which reception identifies children who are behind and holds them back one year would be a good idea? (I wonder if they could also forward the most able reception children to fill the resulting gaps in year one, part way through the year. Less sure if that makes sense.)

Does it really matter? Imagine the world with no summer norms?! Someone has to be the oldest and someone has to be the youngest. I think people forget life isn’t about grades and school and there are lots of different ways to be successful in life.

My August born dd was reading fluently at 3. She started school shortly after her 4th birthday and thrived. She did get tired quickly in Reception, often going to bed at 6. However, she was always academically able. After University the became a teacher and is now HoD of a successful department.
Her ds was born in September and, although he does well in school, he seems no more able than his mother was.

It does depend on the child. Generally, yes your friend is right but there are always a lot of exceptions. A bright child will do well regardless of when they are born but a not so bright child will be at a double disadvantage. Same with things like sports, yes lots of footballers are winter birthdays but if you’re talented enough, you’ll succeed regardless (think David Beckham is a May birthday)

I have 2 august babies and both are fine! One is in year 2 and whilst its annoying that he watches everyone else turn 7 when he is only just 6, he is a high achiever in school- more so than most of the kids who are already 7. I was also the youngest in my year and did well at school. I had a miscarriage and wanted to try again and didnt really want to miss out a month! Plus its less money spent at nursery.

YippieKayakOtherBuckets
Yep 100% agree with you

In my experience it's a HUGE disadvantage, I have 2 in the same year (GCSE yr 11) one is an early Sept birthday and one is early Aug, both are at polar opposites when ability is measured. The Sept is estimated 13 A* (the equivalent in new terms lvl 8, probably 9s), the autism struggling at every level with a range of lvl 4-6. I can only speak of my personal experience but if I had a choice I would try for a baby arriving in the earlier months of the school year

I agree that it's unhealthy and a bit fanatical to worry about stuff like this. There is a very controlling mother in my older DS's class and she has admitted that she deliberately got pregnant both times in order to have Sept born DC. However, both her DC have learning disabilities and so while they're among the oldest in their classes, they have not reaped the rewards of their birthdays and have various struggles to overcome. Having DC is largely is about relinquishing control, accepting that you can't micromanage anything really and that the best lesson you and your DC can learn is to make the very best of whatever situation you and they are in. If you want to TTC, go ahead, and don't worry about the date of birth. My June-born brother is one of the brightest people I know and always did brilliantly at school. My March-born sister, less so. Each DC is an individual and birth date does not dictate how bright or able or anything else a DC will be.

so many anecdotes on here.

STATISTICS - ie. actual studies of whole populations show enormous benefits for autumn born children that continue throughout the whole of their lives.

I am an end of August birth. I was generally top set at school but struggled in Maths and PE and I was tiny. Looking back, I know that if I’d been older in the year I’d have had the maturity to cope with all of the curriculum and I think my performance would have been more consistent.
I’m doing fine in life but I’ve had many missed opportunities e.g. university choice limited to those who’d take me without O level Maths and so on.

Also I was premature so should have been born in September and been in the year below.
So don’t aim for September. Aim for October!

Even statistics can be manipulated. Also they are rarely based on ‘whole populations’.

Having DC is largely is about relinquishing control, accepting that you can't micromanage anything really and that the best lesson you and your DC can learn is to make the very best of whatever situation you and they are in.

Well said.

There will always be anecdotes of August babies who are neurosurgeons. Statistics do show that summer borns are at a disadvantage and not just to do with grades but about psychological well-being. There is a book about this Outliers, it a is worth a read for anyone who wants to know more about it.

Even a highly achieving engineer I know who was born in August said he felt disadvantaged for being young in his year.

That said, I did not stop myself from conceiving an August baby and that is what I got and he is wonderful.

I do think though that it is ridiculous that there is (still) an arbitrary cut off date, when other countries can choose which year to send their child to school. The only people this benefits are admissions teams. There is a campaign to change this for all postcode areas, currently it is only a few areas which let parents decide - luckily for my son we live in one of them.

Waterat - my dc aren’t statistics, they’re children, just as an FYI.

I have 2 August DCs. now in secondary. no issues at all really. Our September baby was quite bored at school at first, took a while to settle.

My eldest was born end of July. He is 14 now but has always struggled academically. He had asd and a speech and language disorder but in mainstream school. Those two things combined with being nearly a year younger than his peers have not been a good match. I have no doubt had he been born 6 weeks later and been one of the eldest in his year he'd be doing much better.

My second was born in January and has always been good academically. Our youngest was born the beginning of September. She's yet to start school but I'm sure she'll be at an advantage. I was actually worried she'd be born end of August. I've seen first hand how difficult it can be for many children.

I know many ridiculously bright high achieving people who have July/August birthdays! I think it depends on the child and other factors like the school and the support at home TBH.

^^ This. Home factors are more important that when your birthday falls.

sloe undoubtedly. But it can't be ignored as a factor that affects how a child adjusts to school and how well they do, based on a larger pool of evidence. If OP has the option of planning an autumn, rather than summer baby, it might be worth considering.

I have two July babies and now a winter baby due in January. I was sure I didn't want a Summer baby, but the want for a baby took over and I really didn't care much once I had it in my head I wanted to TTC for number one. It happened very quickly and DC1 was born July 12th. We then had number two, July 30th... we wanted a second baby but it did happen without us really trying, so yes he was a surprise but just a bit of an early surprise. My experience so far is that my oldest has just started school and he is blossoming - he was so ready, I did seriously think about deferral but he was going up the walls with boredom. He is tall for his age but of course he is smaller than some of the older boys, but mentally he is up there with them. Here we have a lot of grammar schools and no one could tell me what would happen with the 11 plus if I deferred reception by a year so that also put me off deferral.

My Husband is August born and is very successful now, he says he struggled in sport but caught up. Yeah of course the stats are there but just do what you want and don't worry - most August born people I know have done very well and gone against the stats. My Husband was due in September but came 6 weeks early so you'd really have to avoid September too as you don't know what can happen.

Personally I much preferred being pregnant in the Summer... let's be realistic we rarely have above 20 degree weather, you won't be sweating in a 3 month long heatwave. My oldest was born in a 2 week heatwave and it was fine - it was great in fact, not having to bundle him up, not worrying about him being cold, gorgeous newborn legs in short rompers, lovely summer walks. Maternity clothes are easier in Summer. Those night/early morning feeds are much nicer when it isn't freezing and pitch black outside. Being 7 months pregnant now is much harder - I even had to invest in a maternity coat this time and I challenge you to find a nice one, I tried about 15!!! Yes all these things may be a little materialistic but really, being pregnant during summer is fine so don't let that influence you. Good luck with whatever you decide! x

Thinking of it, I’m shitting myself at the idea of being heavily pregnant in the summer and chasing DD around in the heat all day.

You'd be heavily pregnant in the summer with a September baby, too.

Summer borns boys are apparently seen as a separate 'SEN' group, about whom year R teachers have to provide data to the government.

Ps on a different note, I loved being pregnant in summer despite a three week heatwave. August was a lovely time to have a newborn.

waterrat
'so many anecdotes on here.
STATISTICS - ie. actual studies of whole populations show enormous benefits for autumn born children that continue throughout the whole of their lives.'

Yep and STATISTICALLY girls do better at school, as do only children and eating a diet including omega 3 improves concentration so all you micromanagers if you really want to make sure your child has a head start you better make sure you have one female child born in September that likes mackerel for breakfast.....

she has admitted that she deliberately got pregnant both times in order to have Sept born DC. However, both her DC have learning disabilities and so while they're among the oldest in their classes, they have not reaped the rewards of their birthdays and have various struggles to overcome.

From personal experience, I think that children like the ones you describe have benefited from their September birthdays, in that their struggles would be greater if they were amongst the youngest in the year group and starting school with a year’s less time to develop and grow.