August baby at a disadvantage to Sept baby?

[peachytacos]

AIBU to think that having a birthday in spring/summer won’t massively affect how successful your child is in school long term?

I completely understand in the first few years at school the difference is significant, as a year is such a large jump, but surely as they grow older it evens out?
I’m ttc no 2 and was speaking to my close friend about it today who told me its mean to ttc this month in case I end up with an August baby
She’s naturally very blunt and doesn’t mean anything nasty by it but she strongly feels that a baby born in August is at a massive disadvantage throughout. I know it’s highly unlikely to happen anyway but it’s made me think.

Thoughts/opinions please!

It makes a difference, but you never know how much to any individual child.

Bear in mind it isn't a question of handling reception. Most kids don't have the real trouble there. It plays a bigger role when maths gets harder and most of all in puberty.

Certainly not a reason not to ttc though!

The statistics show that it does make a difference in aggregate. We didn't plan it but have ended up with one late October and one late Nov/early Dec (I'm still pregnant!) which works out really well. If one is really concerned then TTC between New Year's Eve and Easter, that's sort of what happened to us and that's how we got those dates.

My brother is end July and my parents had to keep him back as he wasn't mature enough to start primary school. Best decision ever, he excelled academically and in sports throughout school after seriously struggling at the start.

DH is December and where he grew up that made him the youngest in his year. Academically always did well but got into some trouble as a teen and early years of uni which I suspect was due to his immaturity compared to bigger/older boys and he fell into peer pressure.

The cut off in the UK is August but my example is with a young fellow born in November where the cut off was December.
he was very immature and only seemed to barely catch up (games and communication skills) by the spring term. so spent most of the school year with everyone rolling their eyes at his comments and skills.
this coupled with the fact that he was short and fine boned meant he never played sports at the same level as his class mates.
although his class mates were kind to him his self confidence by the time he was a teenager was poor which led to poor post secondary choices, worrisome alcohol use and promiscuity.
his mother forever regretted not holding him back.

“ Never noticed that the kids born in December were at a disadvantage, I definitely didn't feel at a disadvantage... I can't say I have noticed a pattern where younger children had worse grades.”

Linning I can say, hang on heart, that this is absolutely not the kind of thing that a child or teenager would have any insight into whatsoever.

Anyway, you don’t need to have noticed it. The stats do it for you.

If the OP were a 45 year old woman with a past of fertility issues, of course we would be saying “don’t wait”. But she is asking us about something her friend said, and we are confirming that she is correct. At least at aggregate level. It’s not a matter of opinion.

You have to laugh. All these people who were at a disadvantage. Any excuse! I have yet to meet anyone who says their child suffered because they were youngest in the year (Until I found this thread obviously!!) If you're ttc don't be put off! This could be your window (Apparently we have a certain time we're more likely to conceive! This could however be rubbish!)

DD1 was born in July and is in Y2 now. She is one of the top in her class. I am also a teacher (in the juniors) and every year I have high achieving children who are born in the summer. So for a lot of children I have seen it hasn’t made a difference.

I wouldn't choose to have a summer born baby if I had my time again.
I felt during the last few years DS was the last to do everything. Get a P/T job at 16, learn to drive, be able to have a drink. Meaning all of his friends were doing all that way before he was. His September born friends had passed their tests before DS has even started learning.
It got him down quite a bit.

It depends on the child, I have a September child who I think would've been better going to school earlier.

I think it can make a difference, not necessarily academically. I’m a late August birthday, and I excelled academically (except in maths!), but Looking back I can see that I was emotionally and socially immature in some ways. There are other factors though - mainly a loving but rather over protective mum.
My DD is also late August, and she has done well at school and college, albeit in different subjects to me. She’s now at uni and thriving. I was always very aware when she was growing up to give her more independence than I had, and I think that has made a difference.

Haven't read the full thread.
My baby boy was born on August 1st, the governments website said any child born in July or August can be held back a year before starting school of you don't think they are ready, you just have to request it. They've done the best they can with giving exceptions, but obviously there's got to be a cut off point somewhere.

Good news, they'd never have to be at school on their birthday if it's in August and you can always do something amazing with them every year. I see it as an advantage and a way to start a lovely birthday tradition!

August 27th here and my best friend at school was 1st September so she was almost a year older than me. We used to be either top or second in class every year - one year it was me and the next her. So made no difference at all to me, but we are all different. I am an only child, so perhaps that has something to do with it????

Absolutely Ms Hopey- its no longer a given to send summer born children when they are just 4 so if you think your child is not ready just request it! Parents are always trying to give their children the best advantage e.g. Extra tuition, getting into the best school etc- I see deferring entry as just another example of this.

I agree with the person that says someone has to be the youngest- exactly!
Tbh I didn't know all this when ttc. I have an Aug baby and he's incredibly bright, very sporty etc but then he's an only child so there are lots of statistics about how much brighter they are so I suppose I can choose which stats to believe
The youngest girl in the class also goes up to the year above for lessons. What I have found is he has been emotionally behind some of his peers but that seemed to even out from yr 4.
Statistics have their place but there are lots of other factors to take into account.

It's also worth remembering that not every kid in the year will be best part of a year older than an August baby! I'm a May birthday. I doubt those three extra months make any difference, developmentally. an August baby isn't going to be that far behind anyone born in the second half of the year I suspect. Genetics and home environment are so much more important, imo....

I wonder if sometimes a child can be impacted by the fact that they will have been told that the reason they are struggling is because they are summer born. All children develop at different rates so it might be that they were just a slow starter, regardless of age, but were told it was because they were born later than their peers and so they believed they would never catch up.

Also I wonder how September born children feel if they struggle at school, that must impact their confidence too.

In DS's Primary class it would have been difficult to tell which were Autumn and which were Summer born. The top and the bottom tables had an even split of Autumn and Summer born children (I used to help in class) Also the 2 children who were the best at sport and always chosen for whichever team event were Summer born children, and in fact the girl was the youngest child in the class.

I don’t think it makes any difference. August baby here, as is my sister. I used to be 11th in our year nearly every year, my sister was 1st or 2nd every year.

Maybe it makes more of a difference in the early years, but kids catch up.

Born at very end of July and top for all my grades. I think it matters at the start of education but starts to even out. I wouldn't let that be a reason to wait TTC

Anyone born in the summer term can request to be held back. My May born son was given permission to start reception a year later, at 5. We didn't as we home ed in the end.

We moved to NZ when our dc were 18 months, 4 and 7. Our 4 year old is an August baby, so ended up leaving Reception in the UK and going back to kindy for 5 months as they start school the day after they're 5 in NZ (or any day you choose, as long as it's before they turn 6) So my two youngest (both August babies) and eldest (January baby) ended up switching seasons, from summer birthdays to winter ones and vice versa, and going from youngest in year, to average, and mid in year, to one of the eldest (school year runs Feb to Dec in NZ)

We moved back to the UK when our youngest was 5, and she went straight into Yr 1 here, so essentially skipped Reception totally. She's a very late August baby, and though Yr 1 was tough for her (she'd come straight from a NZ kindy, with no formal learning, to Yr 1 and being expected to read/write etc)she has now caught up (Yr 3) We had to work with her, and help her more than we had to help her brothers at the same stage, but she has caught up. I strongly believe that it's down to parents to invest the time and energy into helping later developers (be that due to birth month, or other reasons)with the adjustment to school. The birth month as an excuse doesn't sit well with me if I'm honest, or maybe we were subconsciously aware of it, and over compensated (August boy is academic and sporty, though way smaller than his peers, but has never shown that he's aware of it)

Statistically speaking then yes they’re at a disadvantage developmentally. Anecdotally speaking I have two late July babies and two August babies. My elder 3 have all done really well and had no issues at all apart from being physically smaller for the first few years (they’re 16, 13 and 10 now). My youngest is only 3 but will be starting school in Sept 2018, I’m hoping she will do as well as her brother and sisters.

I am mid August and loved being the youngest girl in class (and in the first year being the youngest in school).

I was really annoyed when a new girl joined and was a day younger than me!

When I went to secondary school I thought I could be the youngest in the class again but there were some girls who were still 10 and in fact had late Autumn birthdays. There were also some girls who were 13 (this was a private school). Not sure why there was such a spread of ages, certainly don't remember any of them being more or less academic than the rest of us. I assume it was more down to which year had spaces when they applied for admission.

I think if you're the type to ask this question on MN, then your kid is probably going to be fine.

I've been a teacher for over 3 decades and absolutely think that there's a huge benefit. The children get such a head start in Early Years that they may not be caught up.

Maturity-wise, I think it makes more of a difference to boys than girls.

I think it's incredibly unhealthy to attempt to exert this level of control over the beginning of your child's life. Pregnancy, childbirth and early parenthood are one long process of learning how little control we have over the really fundamental, primal elements of our lives. It's arrogant to the point of hubris to think that you can override this.