August baby at a disadvantage to Sept baby?

[peachytacos]

AIBU to think that having a birthday in spring/summer won’t massively affect how successful your child is in school long term?

I completely understand in the first few years at school the difference is significant, as a year is such a large jump, but surely as they grow older it evens out?
I’m ttc no 2 and was speaking to my close friend about it today who told me its mean to ttc this month in case I end up with an August baby
She’s naturally very blunt and doesn’t mean anything nasty by it but she strongly feels that a baby born in August is at a massive disadvantage throughout. I know it’s highly unlikely to happen anyway but it’s made me think.

Thoughts/opinions please!

I have an August born boy, he's three now so due to start school in September. We've got an agreement with our local authority that he will start in reception at age 5 instead, so in 2019. And a guarantee he will remain with his cohort.

I'm summer born and achieved very well academically. My son has speech delay, is very shy and emotionally immature, he doesn't like new people or places. He is not yet potty trained. No SN, he's progressing well with his speech under SALT. I just feel he would not be ready to start school age 4 and a few days. Other children may well be, and may do very well. I just want to give him an extra year to gain more confidence. Had I not got eclampsia and needed an emergency c section, he wouldn't have been premature and would be starting then anyway.

We did this (delayed Tcc until December) I have a autum 2nd born dd currently in year6. She is soo bored, so ready for secondary school, really she might have been better off going up this year. The school has mixed year groups (yr5/6) which has just exacerbated this tbh as she has done all the year 6 work already

Coldilox - that's interesting. Ds was 3 late july, also speech delay (though now d/c), and still not potty trained. I spoke with the head of our local primary who said he'd have to start im yr 1 if we delayed him starting. He also said secondary could make him skip yr 7 and catch up if he was deferred in primary.

Did you go to the LA for agreement before knowing which school he'd be in?

I have a sept baby. In my NCT group and general friendship group I was the last one to give birth. All the other babies that year were June/July/Aug.

I remember last sept being so pleased my child was at preschool for another year. And also looking at some of the others thinking that my child doesn’t seem ready for school, and yet seems more robust and ready than some who were having to go who just seemed so small. I know she would have struggled with missing me, and toilet if a poo, and general confidence if she had been born in August and started school at just 4.

However fast forward to Easter, the ones who started school at just 4, were reading, adding up, writing, and had loads of new sound confidence. I remember a number of days out in the holidays ending up with my child in tears of frustration because she couldn’t do what her friends could as they were at school and she was ‘stuck at preschool’ (even though they were only a few weeks older in some cases). She also got very bored at preschool (although I admit it wasn’t a great preschool).

Anyway just started school this year and she loves it. Definitely ready, galloping along with all the literacy and numeracy etc and I just know that 12 months ago she would have struggled. Talking to some of the other mums from foundation, I often hear that their summer born is struggling with certain things, and I think ‘yep, that’s exactly where my sept born was this time last year’. So it’s not that my sept born is more able, she is just 12 months older! I have also noticed that since half term the children have been streamed into ability groups for literacy and numeracy. And the top table is basically the sept/Oct and Nov born children. The difference to the tasks between the tables is massive as well. Think one table of children learning to recognise numbers 1-5 verses another table starting to write sentences and adding 2 numbers. So all in all it was worth the wait I think.

Wow! Thank you all so much for the replies. I’ve since been reading every article and study I can find on this! Ha ha!

I know that conception isn’t easy and that babies can arrive much earlier than planned. But it really does appear that the stats are in agreement with my friend! Thinking of it, I’m shitting myself at the idea of being heavily pregnant in the summer and chasing DD around in the heat all day.

I’m only 29 and we’ve just been trying for a few months so we can definitely wait a couple more.

Thanks again everyone for the replies!

DS was born on 31st August. He is doing well academically, but agree with PP that it is in sports where it made a real difference as he was physically so much smaller than most other boys. At primary school the teachers made allowances for different stages of development..and I never felt he was disadvantaged ( though looking back I was very PFB about him being the youngest).

Of course, if he had been a Sept baby, who knows what difference it would have made.

I wouldnt swap him though!

and if we compared me in August to the imaginary version of me born a month later, who knows maybe I'd be running the country now (obvs a joke on sooo many levels!). But the point is just because on paper I've achieved, doesn't mean that I wasn't disadvantaged because of my birthday; I could in theory have done even better.

But the you born a month earlier wouldn't be you; different sperm, different egg. If you'd been born a month earlier you would have been entirely different. To extrapolate further - my brothers are both early in the school year babies; neither of them is as academic as me. I think that's why I find the degree of emphasis on birth month on MN odd. There are so many variables and this isn't even one most people have much control over (hence all the posters saying they aimed for a September baby and got an August one).

I'm a July baby, I'm also dyslexic. I managed to achieve a BA Hons degree and have been teaching early years for 13 years.

My August born son is, and always has been, academically ahead of his classmates. He is now 7.5 and finds most aspects of school easy and enjoyable. The one thing that he has found difficult is P.E - the developmental difference here does seem to make a difference. He's catching up now but has always found ball skills etc more challenging than his peers.

On the other hand, I was a bright September born child who didn't start school until after my 5th birthday and my mum found it very hard to occupy me until I started school.

Just a couple of examples, but I really wouldn't put off TTC for this reason.

Oh, and sporting achievements, DD1 (winter baby) is the shortest in her year but is one of the best footballers, swimmers and (long distance) runners in her year. At sports day in the sprints she can't compete due to her lack of height but her maturity and ability to learn gives her a big advantage in more technical sports. Although she's still too young to say if she'll really excell at any sport and for a girl just having parents who encourage sport makes a massive difference, her sporty friends all seem to do multiple sports (half her football team do swimming club with her) vs her friends who do none and are already turned off physical activity.

I have a late June second ds and he started this year at age 4, he's loving school and is as bright as a button, I really think it depends on the child. I was really pleased actually as it saves an extra year of child care!!

It really does also depend on the child too. It's like saying that all September babies do well because they're the oldest, lots probably do but not every September child will, there's no guarantee that having a September baby will result in a smart, high achieving child.

DD was due mid-Sept but arrived 2.5wks early and was very late August born. She wasn't ready to start Reception at 4 years + 1wk in some ways and in others she was. She's in Y4 and is doing very well in some areas and average in others (just like most kids in her class).

TBH, I think she'd be bored if she was in Y3, learning less and possibly even being disruptive. DD does however realise now that she'll be the last one to learn to drive and she's always the last of her friends to have a birthday (which will no doubt be more pronounced when she turns 18). But hopefully she'll have lovely friends.

I think it's a bit like breastfeeding - yes, at population level you can see an effect, but most people only have smaller samples and individual stories as their personal experience and that will affect how 'beneficial' they consider planning a not-August baby to be.

My eldest is August born and it never occurred to me beforehand that it might be a disadvantage.

I'm from Scotland and am March born, so should have been one of the oldest in my cohort, but my parents sent me to school early as they thought I was ready and would have been bored waiting another year to start.

As it was, I LOVED school and did well. Being one of the youngest in my year was never an issue and therefore it has never occurred to me that it might've been an issue for my daughter. Solipsistic, moi?

My daughter is now in year 1 (we live in England) and she's doing fine and really enjoys school and learning. I'm more worried about the bloody Tories being in charge of the education system than the month she was born, tbh!

I also have an October born and actually worry that he'll be bored by an extra year of nursery, much more than I ever worried about my August-born!

Think it probably overall is a disadvantage. I have an August baby - some of us don’t get to choose. He’s not in school yet but very bright and talking ahead of his peers so hoping that helps but still nervous. He will be at school with children nearly a year older and I can’t see how that can’t have some affect.

We started ttc after Christmas, as it was a time that worked for us, but also thinking an autumn born child would be nice... Took a bit longer than we thought it would and ended up with summer born DC. If you start ttc now, you're statistically more likely to end up with an autumn born, if you look at length of time it takes the average couple to conceive, instead of the academic stats.

There is absolutely no way I'd have stopped trying for a few months by that stage and I am still very grateful for my summer born, regardless of whether they might score a bit lower in their gcse's.

This thread makes me really worried about my late August born DS1. (Not a planned baby!)

On the bright side he is very tall for his age so at least physically I hope he won’t be disadvantaged. We also raise him bilingual which hopefully will give him a different kind of advantage long term to make up for the disadvantages he may suffer in the early years??

Thinking of it, I’m shitting myself at the idea of being heavily pregnant in the summer and chasing DD around in the heat all day

What's this heat in August you are talking about. I had my woodburner and underfloor heating on at one point.
I can pretty sure you are going to be ok on that front!

The statistics speak for themselves and I had never thought of the issues of children carrying forward ideas of being somehow lesser because of early school years where older children were obviously better if they were 11 months older

But I would also say relating to the early school years that it must equally be v boring for those born in sept especially more mature girls to be stuck in reception with lots of silly little boys (like my son was) and therefore perhaps having to operate at a lower level than they could - also if they are born in September and then have to do almost an extra year of pre school again could be quite boring for them

personally I think spring is good not to mature but not too immature but that August children can with support find there own way and much in yr3 onwards depends on personality and aptitude

But it's not just academic success, apparently it also affect youth suicide rate:
journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/070674379904400111
The effect is not enormous, but significant (even if the study only considers two 6 months divisions, early/late. I assume that their cohorts were too small to allow for a finer grading and still give statistically significant results)

My sons birthday is end of August so theoretically he will be just 4 when others in his class are turning 5. That’s a massive gap at that age. When they get older (teenage) I think that gap shortens, but development wise they will always be behind. Your never really going to gain a year.

Having said that, my birthdays end of July, I’ve got a degree and don’t think being one of the younger ones made much difference. My brothers birthday is December and he barely got any GCSEs and we went to the same schools.

@ImAMarshmellow I guess it's how you apply yourself. More so at secondary school.

I'd prefer September if you can wait!

My nephew is an Aug baby he struggles. Conversely the head boy at my school was an august baby and was a genius.

I’ve got an August born daughter and I actually think it was more of a problem at GCSE and college than through school in general. She wasn’t quite mature enough for serious study and did ok but could have done better with more maturity. Now all get friends are driving and she’s still early on with lessons.

I have also deferred my July born boy's entry to school so he will begin Reception at 5 and continue with that yr group. He is having another fab year at nursery and gets the 30 hrs free funding too. Lots of LAs automatically grant requests now so if you have concerns about your child starting, look into it. It's a very individual decision but imo having another year of education can only be a good thing- played out by stats and research. My boy has no SEN just a bit immature. He would have been fine in Reception class but it's Y1 and beyond that worried me as I really concerned about the pressures we are putting in kids to read and write.

This thread has got me all confused. I don't come from the UK so not sure how the system there work but I am an "August baby" and definitely wasn't the youngest in my class. The youngest ones were the ones born in December where I am from but everyone starts school around the age of 2, 5 or 3 yo. Never noticed that the kids born in December were at a disadvantage, I definitely didn't feel at a disadvantage at the time either and the only slight con of being born in August I noticed was my birthday falling right in the middle of the summer holidays making it hard to have a proper birthday party! (which always suited me perfectly anyway as I always very much disliked being the center of attention).

I had good grades, was very good at sports and picked up languages very quickly.

Maybe December babies did feel at a disadvantage for being younger but I can't say I have noticed a pattern where younger children had worse grades. If anything, my brother is a "February baby" (so was technically among the oldest of his class) and definitely isn't the brightest light around, and I have noticed the same with a few other February kids so I think it's more a personality thing than anything else really.

It's the first time I hear about people willingly trying to avoid their child being born a certain month of the year (25th of December ok, but August?) Mind you, I am quite glad that this isn't really a thing where I am from as, had my mom thought like this, I wouldn't have been born!

I think there are worse things in life than having a kid that's a bit behind at school or who get slightly lower grades than his peers (regardless of date of birth). You could be granted with a September baby that happen to not be healthy enough to ever attend school, being born a certain month doesn't guarantee the perfect baby (I understand your concern is for your future child not to have to face unnecessary challenges but really even if you plan the perfect pregnancy from A to Z so there is still no way to know what your child will be like so don't let statistic scare you! )

Out of the many things that have affected my life being born in August wasn't one of them. If anything competing with older kids has forced me to always be on top of my game and not rely on my age like other kids liked to do. There isn't really anything challenging in competing with a bunch of 4 yo if you are 5 tbh so I am quite glad i wasn't part of the older ones.