August baby at a disadvantage to Sept baby?

[peachytacos]

AIBU to think that having a birthday in spring/summer won’t massively affect how successful your child is in school long term?

I completely understand in the first few years at school the difference is significant, as a year is such a large jump, but surely as they grow older it evens out?
I’m ttc no 2 and was speaking to my close friend about it today who told me its mean to ttc this month in case I end up with an August baby
She’s naturally very blunt and doesn’t mean anything nasty by it but she strongly feels that a baby born in August is at a massive disadvantage throughout. I know it’s highly unlikely to happen anyway but it’s made me think.

Thoughts/opinions please!

@Imfinehowareyou this is exactly me too!
After the end of the infants we don't really use summer born as a separate group in school because they've usually evened out. Statistics may make you think they're going to be behind but it really is down to the individual. I couldn't pick put summer born children in my class by ability or maturity.

At my old school 75% of children having interventions because they were falling behind in KS2 were summer borns.

This is one of many pieces of clear statistical evidence which has helped me to decide to defer my August born DD to start reception at 5 not 4.

My best friend at school was late August born and went to Cambridge, but she was the exception. Most of my (selective school) class mates were Autumn to Easter birthdays.

I did try to avoid it when TTC but she came early!

Oh and to add: physically and sports-wise, DS has always lagged behind. Not much fun for him on Sports Days when his classmates (some an entire head taller than him) outrun him although he tries his best, never gets chosen for school teams, etc. That bit is hard for him, and despite us talking about 'trying your best' and 'you'll catch up soon', he just feels discouraged quite often.

My best mate is a July baby and I am a September baby.

She was super super bright at maths. Got a first in Maths and is an actuary. I was never as good as her at maths.

Oh, and working in secondary, I can rarely tell a summer born, in terms of academic ability or social skills.

fluffy

I agree

My ds2 loved football but he wasnt as big and strong so didnt get the practice so didnt get picked for the team so didnt get the practice

I guessed this thread would end up with lots of posts about exceptionally high achieving August babies

Of course! They always do!

Yes, the birth month has an impact on a child’s outcomes. So do the parents’ level of education; the parents’ income; maternal lifestyle and nutrition; infant and child nutrition; quantity and quality of parental interaction; environmental factors; etc etc etc.

MNers tend to fall within a certain demographic where most of these factors are addressed positively. It should be no surprise then that the combined effect of all of these factors can ultimately outweigh the impact of the birth month.

LOL at all the peope claiming they or their children are August birthdays but very bright and able, but utterly failing to understand the difference between statistics and anecdotes
We are not though!
We are, or at least I am, is pointing out it's not the end of the world to have an August baby. There can be good outcomes

MNers tend to fall within a certain demographic where most of these factors are addressed positively. It should be no surprise then that the combined effect of all of these factors can ultimately outweigh the impact of the birth month.

In that case, seeing that the OP is a MNer the child is going to be fine!

I can pick out the kids in my class who are late summer babies and I work in year 6.

Looking round primaries for DD recently they’re all obsessed with August born children. Not relevant for DD but all the assumptions were that even if they could cope academically, that emotionally they would be lacking. Class sizes and structures were built around it.

DSis was an August baby and my Dad was like a dog with a bone trying to ensure she wasn’t held back. She was massively bright but very “young” in her mindset for a long time and was emotionally behind her peers until university I would say. It was bloody hard for her.

Yup . The stats show an impact right up to university level.

My anecdotes; DS is august born, top 10% of his year but in social and sporting terms he fits in better with children from the year below and this does have an impact.

I am September born but went to school when I was still 3 so always the youngest. I don't see the impact myself to me, others might say otherwise.

Dd is a younger sibling and was ready for school in a way my spring born oldest wasn't

So I wonder if birth order also has an impact

My dc is August born. She is a year ahead academically than her peers. It doesn't always follow that a summer born is going to be behind.

I hate it when people say, 'They all catch up'. That is simply not true!!!!

My DH and I are both fairly high achieving summer babies so totally rejected the idea that we shouldn't want a late August baby.

She has now just started school nursery (age 3) and is noticeably behind in certain ways. She wets herself more than others. Some of her language is a bit behind. All things that I think she'll catch up on but I do wish we hadn't been so blasé about it.

I don't think birth order had ever occurred to me. Dh is youngest of 4 and I'm a second. It suddenly seems really obvious that this would have helped us along as kids.

My late August ds had no issues academically from being youngest in yr. he was also taller than average and was/is very sporty.

However, as he went through primary school and in the first couple of years at secondary the emotional maturity between him and his friends was quite plain to see.

Now in 6th form there is no difference at all between him and his peer group.

I have 3 DC, eldest is a winter baby, was very ready to start school, could already write when she started, was reading by Christmas etc etc. Now top set in the year for everything and all that set are autumn/winter children even at the top of primary. Second child summer and obviously personality has an effect but clearly struggled more in reception and year one both socially and with confidence. Had an amazing teacher in year 2 who really encouraged her (universally recognised as best teacher in the school) and started thriving at school and is doing well now and is above average but not as much of a high flyer as our eldest. Youngest we deliberately delayed conceiving so wouldn't have an August baby. He was then premature but thankfully still born in Sept so is oldest in his class. Very obvious to us he wouldn't have been ready at 4 for school, hadn't even decided if he was left or right handed back then. At 5 he was ready for school and is full of enthusiasm for it. Still in infants but seeing the advantages of being the oldest in the class over again. So I agree with your friend.

I have a July born DS. We delayed his school start until he was compulsory school age and has recently started in Reception, age 5yrs 7 weeks. We are so glad we did. He is confident and happy. This time last year he was a wreck at nursery drop offs and would have really struggled had he been starting school then. We are now in the process of seeking to delay DS2 as we can se how much DS1 benefited from the second year at nursery, that is already afforded to his Autumn born peers.

I hate it when people say, 'They all catch up'. That is simply not true!!!!

if you walked into a pub with my both my DSs' and their mates and talked to them about their jobs, qualifications and interests you would not be able to tell who was born in what month.
Ok, I can't speak for every August born child but from personal and professional experiences but having a baby in the summer isn't the end of the world.

DD is 3, July born, has speech issues and possible SEN. Starting her at school in September would be catastrophic for her, imo. We've spoken to the local authority and the local schools and we will be deferring her reception year start until 2019. That extra year will give her time to develop social skills, maturity, improve her speech hopefully.

I skipped a year in primary and went from being the oldest to the youngest. Academically it was fine, I was a very academic child, but socially it was disastrous and impacted on me well into my adult life.

Statistically yes there is a difference.

Anecdotally, I'm a summer birthday, I excelled at sports, went to selective schools and have a doctorate degree from a top university.
But this isn't evidence because it's a sample of one...and if we compared me in August to the imaginary version of me born a month later, who knows maybe I'd be running the country now (obvs a joke on sooo many levels!). But the point is just because on paper I've achieved, doesn't mean that I wasn't disadvantaged because of my birthday; I could in theory have done even better.

I do think though that it's harsh to say you are mean! And making a baby isn't like putting some toast on, you just can't plan stuff like that!

My dd was born in the first week of September, and apart from being sad when her nursery friends went to school it has only been advantageous. She's also tall, clever, and a people pleaser and so was treated as if she was older (eg used as the teachers helper etc) which contributed to her maturity and confidence. A bit of a virtuous circle.

My ds is May born and struggled with school. He is tall and clever too, but dsylexic and had significant confidence and behaviour issues in primary. He started in January with all the older children going into a parallel class. Not sure if that was a good or bad thing.

We moved to a school system with a December/January cut off instead, and as a result ds got an extra year at primary and dd became young in class instead. She's found that annoying out of school (for summer activities, jobs, driving etc) but kept the confidence advantage. ds went to high school with or ahead of his peers and has done very well. Many other factors involved, but it's been interesting to watch.

"if we compared me in August to the imaginary version of me born a month later, who knows maybe I'd be running the country now...just because on paper I've achieved, doesn't mean that I wasn't disadvantaged because of my birthday; I could in theory have done even better."

Exactly this. Something I have always thought but never managed to articulate.

So many people say "but it didn't affect ME!!" but you can never know that. It doesn't mean the OP has to stop trying to conceive for the next 3 months "just in case" but it is worth bearing in mind.

Yes it makes a difference