To ask for your help on how to stand up for myself later?

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

Hi,

Ok so I've deliberately chosen AIBU as I need non-minced words

In August I took on a sort of nanny/family PA/housekeeper type role. The parents seemed laid back, lovely....with reasonable expectations.

I'm clearly a crap judge of character. Although the kid I look after is indeed brilliant, no complaints there.

I had a three month probationary period. Due to end last Friday. They've just informed me they'd like to extend it for another three months (i.e. they could still get rid of me with a week's notice and I have no comeback for unfair dismissal etc)

Because, although I'm apparently a fantastic nanny, (way to treat a fantastic nanny ) I haven't met their expectations in the other departments. They are still stressed on the weekend apparently and finding themselves having to do housework....

They also have a cleaner for 12 hours a week, I put laundry on once a day and the cleaner does it too, loads of other stuff gets taken and picked up from the dry cleaner by me.

I seriously am at a loss to know where this extra work and stres is coming from.

They own about five properties across the city and in the time I've been working for them, two sets of tenants have served notice. That meant advertising for more, finding more, organising viewings, vetting, moving the previous tenants out, organising cleaners, handymen.... I worked two Saturdays to get all this done. So while all this has been going on I'm also expected to keep the house ship shape, do the school run in the afternoon, ferry to after school club, oversee homework, make dinner, get ready for bed....then there's all their other PA stuff like booking flights, theatre tickets, paying for parking tickets, inputting all the expenses in spreadsheets, ordering groceries....

The dad especially is a bit military in his approach to cleanliness and often pulls me up on things like side not polished, dishwasher not switched on/loaded correctly...I used cling film in the fridge which is a big no as apparently we'll all get cancer...

I can't do all this and meet every single need perfectly. Added to this in the school holidays I'm 'just' supposed to be a full time nanny and keep a six year old stimulated (no screen time allowed ever) all day.... so you can imagine how much all the other stuff goes to pot during those times.

Meant to have weekly meetings with the mum- she's never found the time.

So after her just telling me I'm supposed to just continue on probation until they can 'define the role' I have asked for a meeting to discuss, because I do not think I'm being treated very fairly. It's apparently goung to take place at 5pm.

I need to be firm, assertive and not take any shit. Or should I just jack it in (I am very tempted right now to just jack it in but it would seem Ike quitting, I don't have another job lined up obviously but would be fine money wise for a little while as we are staying with a family member and paying nominal rent while we save)

[DartmoorDoughnut]

Oh wow you sound amazing! wish I could afford a nanny

Honestly they sound horrendous to work for, I’d give them your 4 weeks notice as defined in your contract & hope that bucks their ideas up, you deserve a pay rise and a permanent contract!

[KaliforniaDreamz]

Look for a new position. Good luck x

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

£26,000.

[CorbynsBumFlannel]

You are working at least 2 full time jobs! With the amount of admin they require they need to employ a seperate pa. A nanny should only be required to do light housework duties when they don't have the children.
I'd be honest and tell them that you feel the amount of work they require constitutes more than one full time position and you don't wish to continue after the probationary period. Otherwise you are just going to end up stressed and unfulfilled trying to keep up with their impossible demands.

[BenLui]

They are trying to get you to do three peoples’ work in one by the looks of it.

A probationary period is for both sides. Do not allow this meeting to be a list of things you have done wrong. It’s a two way discussion.

I would suggest that they need to up the cleaners hours.

Looking after the admin on five rental properties is going to take up a substantial part of your time. If they want you to do that they need to take all cleaning out of your role.

I’m really not clear why if they have a cleaner for 12 hours a week you are having to do things like clean the fridge in the first place though.

Given the other things you’ve said I’m not sure I want to be working for these people but if you do, be clear about what is possible and make sure you are being paid properly too.

[steppemum]

you need a more specific job description.
I would say - no cleaning - that is cleaners job.
define what is included in PA responsibilities.

Write up what you do in a typical shift (on the day when you were doing the flat stuff too) and then point out that as you work every single minute of that time, they need more hours (and more pay) or they need to employ someone else.

Pick up on - no meetings with wife, so no feedback and no planning of tasks for week ahead.

[EdmundCleverClogs]

HarrietKettleWasHere

Pfft for that wage you could retrain as a teacher or in youth/social work - you still can work brilliantly with children but no one expects you to wash pants or not use cling film (lighthearted comment, of course). I'd have run away quit weeks ago.

[DartmoorDoughnut]

£26k to do all of that?! They’re properly taking the piss!

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

Dances, she's beautiful! A dream cat. Thanks for asking she just wants to be with me all the time and jumps on the windowsill as I go to work to see me off down the drive

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

I've already told them we're keeping her may have told them the very next morning

[CatalpaTree]

If you want to stay, then stay factual in the meeting. If you start at 12 in term time and do school pick up, how many hours a day do you have for cleaning, laundry and PA stuff? 3? So you have 15 hours a week to do ALL non-nanny stuff. No nanny is expected to cleaned or PA beyond clean up after charges and accept parcels, smal erroands etc and these can’t be expected on evenings if you’re doing dinner and activities etc.

So can their expectations be met in 15 hours a week?

FYI you can definitely earn more for less, although you might have to do a few more hours, but with defined, straight forward requirements.

[Mumof41987]

They sound like CUNTS ! I'd tell them to stick their job . They are treating you terribly

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

That's a good point Catalpa and interesting I've never thought about it like that. So yes basically that's 3 hours a day for non nanny stuff, two and a half if I take a break but rarely do.

[jay55]

Do you want more paid hours? Or a lower workload? Or both?
If you want to stay I’d tell them that all three roles are not possible in the time and they need to pick two.
Best of luck

[IdentityRequest1]

They can't just extend your probationary period if in their contract it says 12 weeks.

I'd actually have a formal resignation letter typed and tucked in my bag, knowing that if the meeting didn't turn out how you wanted, you can use Edmundcleverclogs' line, "At this time, I feel this job is unsuitable for one person to manage. I have shared my concerns, and will work until Friday. Over the weekend you can decide whether we can find a different work management method from here on in, or we will end the employment mutually."
If necessary, jump before you're pushed – they are getting a bargain by paying one person when they clearly need 3.
List the roles and responsibilities as you see fit your job description, and are achievable, and then list the add-on extra tasks which you feel are going above that, or are too much and therefore taking attention from your primary tasks. So - light household duties (A load of washing and food ordering, meal prep for the kid, reasonable. Organising viewings for other properties and moving out tenants whilst still being back for after school club, not reasonable. Answering emails outside of paid hours, nope.)
Good luck.

[mummmy2017]

Write yourself a plan of what you do each day.

Ask them WHAT they think is the most needed jobs,

Tell them it takes X hours to collect and take the children to school, then to answer the emails takes X hours a day,
If you collect an put on a load of washing , dry it and fold it plus ironing takes X hours.
Drycleaner trips take X hours.
Shopping and cooking, X hours.

Then ask the man if he wants you to clean or answer the emails, he can have a choose, as you can't do both.

Remind them once the child is at home and you have to entertain said child, that means you have to take them out and so cleaning and cooking and washing can not be covered, would they be willing to increase the cleaners hours, and can they give the cleaner set items to do, this way you can point to the list and say it wasn't you doing these jobs, so while you can see they need doing, it was not your task to do these items.

[CatalpaTree]

No worries. And throw questions at them so they can reach the conclusions you need them to whilst thinking they did it themselves.

So ask,

“What is it that you want me do be doing more of?”
“What would you like me to do less of?”
“What would you like me to continue doing?”

“And do you feel these requirements can fit into the 15 hours a week I have to do them?”

Then yOu can break tasks down into hours if you need to but definitely have some open questions to ask them. It will also give you a better idea of if you really want to stay.

[mummmy2017]

Also point out to them, that if they extend the period, should you find another post you would only have to give them 7 days notice and not 31days ,

Always agree, then say but and make your own point. this way they can't argue with you.

[HTKB]

What happened after your last post about this? I think you were planning to speak to the guy. How did that go?

[CandleLit]

Given what it says in your contract, it sounds like you can refuse the extension. If the 12 weeks haven't yet passed and they are not happy with your performance, they should give you 7 days notice, not extend probation. If it has passed, they have to give you the contractual months notice. I still think you should up your job search regardless.

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

HTKB he went to the US for work and I never got the chance. The wife apologised on his behalf.

By the way I only have time to post today as I'm overseeing repair work at one of the properties and thankfully it's a cleaner day back at the house!

[NumberEightyOne]

You are too good for them.