Homemade Gifts. AIBU or is he?

[WonderLime]

This evening, whilst stuck under a sleeping baby, I’ve spend the evening browsing Pinterest. I’ve seen some great home made gift ideas and I was feeling really inspired.

DP comes home and I tell him about my idea to make a homemade gift for my Secret Santa present this year, as I think I can do something really cool with a limited budget (I’d been thinking bath bombs and sugar scrubs as they look easy).

DP says that ‘no one appreciates home made gifts unless they are really, really good - and anyway, it will end up costing you more’.

I’d told him just today how I’d been feeling quite low and fed up being on maternity leave, so it was nice to feel excited about something. However now I feel disheartened and don’t see the point anymore.

AIBU thinking about making home made gifts, or was his response unreasonable?

There's a place for HM gifts, but work secret santa is not that place. I think there is a real risk that by the time you've got all the bits and bobs it costs more than a bought gift would, but still may be seen as cheap. Eg salt scrub sounds cheap to make but if you have to buy just one essential oil it'll triple the cost for the sake of a few drops.

Why don't you focus on stuff for your own family? Make a posting game from a cardboard box and jar lids for your child, or rainmakers, or sensory bottles. Make christmas decorations - we still have some I made when heavily pregnant and they come out every year. Make gifts for family.

"I would throw out any food or drink that was homemade"

That's a bit harsh. It depends on who made it. If my SIL gave me a cake she had baked I would love it as she is such a good baker. If my auntie gave me something home made I wouldn't as she doesn't have a very clean kitchen.

I wouldn't like a coffee syrup, sorry. I prefer my coffee to taste of coffee and nothing else.

I’m on mat leave too and totally get it! I’m so bored (despite going to a different baby group nearly every day) I don’t care what my family think they are all getting dodgy homemade footprint and handprint gifts from LO this Christmas

Because I don’t know how clean and hygienic someone is!

The idea actually turns my stomach.

Also, if I’m being 100% honest, it’s a bit self-congratulatory! I’d never say that to someone, though!

To be honest, I didn't really think of home made food as a problem, as I've made cakes before that have been eaten by everyone in the office.

I appreaciate the bath bomb may not be a great idea, depending on skin issues. No reason I couldn't put down a list of ingredients though (I think that could look quite cute).

I have done a few hand made gifts - I am a keen gardener and have done various bulbs in pots such as hyacinths or daffodils which people can plant in the garden once they've finished flowering. I've also done chutneys from vegetables from the garden with fancy labels and tops which seem to go down well.

I also do a couple of calendars every year with my own photos to give to friends. These are photos which have memories for myself and the friend in question - places we have visited over the past year, meals out etc.

I think homemade gifts are quite personal, maybe something for your family or friends. I like trying out a new project, It's relaxing to do something creative because it takes you out of yourself and focuses your mind away from feeling anxious or low.

I'm a bit worried about your plans to colour the bath bombs though. Make sure it's natural- no one wants to get out the bath with green legs.

It was a bit thoughtless of your dh to piss on your chips like that, especially after telling him you felt a bit rubbish today.

He's right, sorry!

Homemade is amazing - if you're amazing at whatever you're making. Not so much otherwise!

I sew as a hobby and I'm pretty good (as in: professional looking finish, better fit than off-the-rack). I will sew clothes as gifts, but only those who ask or drop very unsubtle hints that they would like a piece. It's also never a surprise as I will do fittings.

I also wanted to say that I like the 'bastard' bunting.

I think it's inspiring me to make a a home made Xmas stocking for DP.

op I sympathise as I have often berated my DH for crushing my small dreams with unnecessary haste/vigour (however justified he may be).

I have now told him that he needs to find one nice-ish thing to say about the subject I'm obviously excited about before he points out the flaws.The sight of his little face twitching as he tries to NOT lead with 'No, that's shit' is usually enough to make me realise that the idea is a non-starter (esp as he is, I hate to say, a fairly reliable gauge of public opinion). I know how you feel re being a bit crushed though!

Ooh he was a bit direct wasn't he? I'm afraid I largely agree with him though! Home made gifts are often suggested on MN but it's one thing making something that you know you have a talent for, quite another thinking "I'll have a go". I imagine there could be a lot of trial and error making bath bombs etc and the initial outlay might well be more than the cost of just buying them. Sounds like something to look into as a hobby though and maybe next year you'll be more popular than Lush !

I get orders every year for homemade gifts (now actually get paid for some although most are for friends and family) most popular are chocolates, marmalades and chutney, soap, limoncello, crab apple brandy, cupcakes and Christmas cakes. Some I do individually some as hampers, it started out as the odd request/ idea and has turned into something that I'm now asked to do every year

I help the kids do homemade gifts for teachers and relatives - they are too young to put much thought into a store bought item and have no money of their own so....I think it's good for them to put some effort in.

I don't mind homemade food stuffs - got a lovely tin of homemade Nanaimo bars last year, some homemade scones another. IMO food is good but I would personally avoid other crafty stuff between adults unless particularly skilled....

I learned to quilt on maternity leave, from you tube!
Make home made stuff for your loved ones, they feel like they have a little bit of you. Bath bombs are fun to make, and providing you don't know to many half dead zombie people who only value stuff made in sweat shops people love it.
It can be seriously expensive though, and addictive.

I started making soap and bath bombs while on maternity leave and really enjoy it. I dont know if the stuff is good enough for presents but if it's something you enjoy its worth the initial high cost.

I suppose he does have a point about it being potentially quite expensive unless I'm making in bulk - and if I'm rubbish that could be a lot of money down the drain.

However part of my love for idea is because I'm sick of crappy Boots gift sets and the like. Plus why is factory made inherently better than handmade anyway?

Can I also just say I think its really fucking rude to just dump something in the bin that someone has taken the time and effort to make for you?! Fair enough if you taste it and it is rank but to just throw it away because it doesnt come from an official shop is just bad manners angry

I wouldn't want to taste a coffee syrup though; I buy coffee that I like the taste of and don't need to add any artificial flavours to it.

I think the problem with giving homemade food and drinks is that often they are given to people with no thought given to whether the person actually would like it, as if everyone should appreciate it just because it's homemade. I have never expressed any interest in chutney, so if someone gifts me some I just assume they have made a load and are giving it to everybody.

If you want to craft the following are cheap and generally well received
Xmas cards featuring your LO for friends and family
Framed photos of your LO for grandparents
A colleague (who has a reputation of being a great baker) used her £5 secret santa budget to buy baking ingredients and made an amazing box of goodies which included mince pies, assorted biscuits and a mini xmas cake; we were all envious of the recipient
Home made xmas decorations and stocking especially since it's your LO's first xmas

This is what my kids helped make for teachers, grandparents and relatives last year. I thought them quite nice but it's possible people just nodded politely and binned them.

I wouldn't do homemade for teachers or colleagues personally - if I was a teacher I'd be wondering if kids helped by sticking their fingers in stuff

I made some flavoured gins one year, cheap gin flavoured with sloe berries, google recipe. Presented in nice kilner bottles with bow around them. They were well received.

It’s difficult buying presents for people anyway, sure half of it get shoved to back of cupboard, or put in the bin anyway. At least with home made it looks like you’ve put a bit of effort and thought into a present (imo) even its fate is the same as shop bought.

I used to work for a well respected national charity where home made Secret Santa gifts were compulsary. And if you didn't come up with somthing stunning, it would be brought up at your annual appraisal by megalomaniac boss.
Very stressful. In the end they were unable to recruit staff into that team.....

We had a lot of marmalade and picture frames.

It really depends on the recipient - your hubby - errr prob not - a friend who likes handmade things maybe. I am a big crafter and have done artisan fairs etc and only handmade/homemade to those who appreciate it - so Cakes, Puds, Jams, Chutneys and mincemeat friends and family that bake or enjoy the foodie aspect. My handmade cards even though they are retail ready still only go to those who appreciate them, knitted& Crocheted things - I get approval of pattern and wool, silk scarves I get colour schemes, pictures and frames approval required I am not wasting my talents on the ungrateful they can have a voucher.

I steer clear of homemade gifts. The only ones that really land well in my personal experience have been baby quilts for new borns. But they are NOT cheap, quick or easy to make. They cost about £100 a pop and take about a week.

I've a friend who can make beautiful things in crochet, I often pay her to make me christmas gifts