Homemade Gifts. AIBU or is he?

[WonderLime]

This evening, whilst stuck under a sleeping baby, I’ve spend the evening browsing Pinterest. I’ve seen some great home made gift ideas and I was feeling really inspired.

DP comes home and I tell him about my idea to make a homemade gift for my Secret Santa present this year, as I think I can do something really cool with a limited budget (I’d been thinking bath bombs and sugar scrubs as they look easy).

DP says that ‘no one appreciates home made gifts unless they are really, really good - and anyway, it will end up costing you more’.

I’d told him just today how I’d been feeling quite low and fed up being on maternity leave, so it was nice to feel excited about something. However now I feel disheartened and don’t see the point anymore.

AIBU thinking about making home made gifts, or was his response unreasonable?

[ReanimatedSGB]

I think that the people whose homemade gifts are genuinely appreciated are the people who are skilled and experienced at whatever it is they make. If a competent knitter makes you fancy socks or gloves (as long as you are not someone who hates socks/gloves) you're likely to be pleased; if someone has the knack for things like rumtopf or sloe gin, those can be welcome presents too. But the ones with a skill for it are usually the ones who do it all year round for pleasure, anyway. That doesn't mean you shouldn't have a go, as you might well discover you're the one with the aptitude...

[MorbidBibliomancy]

Depends on the context (i.e.: who you're giving the gift to, etc) but I think it's a bit off to just whack a blanket 'home made gifts are crap' statement on the whole lot. Though I might be biased: this year I'm doing little crocheted dragons as supplementary presents. Last year a friend made teacup candles and they were lovely. I can't bring myself to light mine because it's so nice!

[WonderLime]

I've never crocheted, and I have absolutely no idea how you do it, but I'd love to make little crocheted dragons (or receive them as gifts).

Is it a difficult hobby to pick up?

[MimiDeLaSun]

I bin anything food related that’s homemade, unless it’s from one of my best mates and I’ve been to their house lots of times.

I’m a germophobe, but working in a school I’ve realised loads of people are. Homemade cakes from kids rarely get eaten in the staffroom.

I’d like a bath bomb though.

[unfortunateevents]

I would only like a homemade gift (or certainly one that I was going to eat, put on my skin, bathe in etc) if I knew where it had come from. Sorry, but if I got a homemade coffee syrup or body scrub in a Secet Santa wouldn't use it, in case it was someone's child's idea of Christmas crafting at Brownies!

[Holyknight]

I took up
Needle felting a few years ago and I love it. I can’t do fabulous things like you see on Pinterest but over last 2 years I’ve made a Christmas tree decoration for my friends. Last year we’re snowmen and year before a robin. This year because my thumb joints are sore I have made air dry clay hanging star decs painted with a Scandinavian design in red. They are very simple but look very sweet (IMO). And not expensive to make. And felting too you can get v cheap supplies for. Not sure re bath bombs or other toiletries but I’m sure you can make something lovely so go for it.

[Allgirlskidsanddogs]

It all depends on the quality, the gift, the giver and receiver. I make bunting and miniature personalised stockings. It’s not cheap, it’s a labour of love that I make for those who will appreciate the time and effort that goes into it.

[Namow]

I agree with your husband but he should have been kinder. I also agree with the people who have said that homemade gifts are rubbish unless something very special made by someone very skilled (like, years of practice skilled not learned-off-youtube skilled). I too would bin any food stuffs I was given (and have) and to the person who said it's rude - it ain't. As long as you say thank you and don't look the giver in the eye while throwing it deliberately into the bin, it's fine - it's your gift to do with as you wish. I do not wish to eat it. It's nowt to you if it goes in my bin or in my toilet via my digestive system.

[welshgirlwannabe]

I haven't bought Christmas presents for my sisters or friends for years. I make stuff: cordials and liquors, cookies, truffles, chutny, soaps, scarves, cushion and small bags. Nothing ever looks perfect, but it makes me happy and it's always well received.

I hate spending money and resources on meaningless crap. It's just so depressing - I hate the idea of someone spending their hard earned money on some synthetic perfumed candles for me or some awful cushion from the range. But a homemade candle or cushion would make me really happy, even if it's wonky.

We need more crafting and less buying this time of year! OP, I've bookmarked your coffee syrup recipe and will make it for ds to have in hot frothy milk thanks for that!

[nakedscientist]

I make mince pies, with homemade mince. People at work request them. Shop mince pies are overly sweet with weird pastry!
Chutney, jam if you've harvested the stuff yourself is cool.
Also crochet Christmas tree decs. Easy and quirky.
I love a homemade gift which takes effort rather than some soulless shop stuff. I would like your syrup too!

[notangelinajolie]

Yeah, sorry homemade cost way more and a bit naff. Go to boots and get 3 for 2 offers. You won't need to spend much.

[LavenderDoll]

I don't think a work secret Santa is the place for a home made gift
Although harsh I think your DH was right
Not sure why you would make him a stocking of home made gifts either

[LadyGAgain]

Chilli oil, coffee syrup, chocolate truffles etc = winner winner
Bath bombs, soap, scrubs etc = go in the bin.
No idea why really!

[LoniceraJaponica]

I did do a "home made" gift to every member of my sales team one year. In the September I bought a load of hyacinth bulbs and little jars to start them off in and grew them in the garage for 3 months. The flowers were just coming up at Christmas, and everyone loved them.

[ADishBestEatenCold]

No ... I would not be thrilled with this v v v

//www.nourishandnestle.com/gingerbread-syrup/

In fact, I wouldn't waste good coffee by adding it, though I do have to admit that I do like the "8.5 oz bottles (which) are available online at Amazon for $16.99 for a set of four" used in the blog.

It's all a matter of taste, I suppose, but if you can make amazingly tasteful chocolate truffles, then most people would welcome a dozen if beautifully wrapped.

Can you crochet? Lots of crocheted items usually make very acceptable gifts.

Don't think there is anything wrong with handmade, as long as you choose a gift to fit the recipient and not the other way round, and as long as the gifts are very well made.

[MrsOverTheRoad]

SHarkira

Can I also just say I think its really fucking rude to just dump something in the bin that someone has taken the time and effort to make for you?! Fair enough if you taste it and it is rank but to just throw it away because it doesnt come from an official shop is just bad manners angry

I disagree. I have OCD and always bin gifts of homemade cake etc.

I'm not fucking rude.

I can't bear them in my house.

[Italiangreyhound]

Your dp sounds a bit miserable. Make them, and make them fabulous!

I would love a homemade gift!

[ADishBestEatenCold]

Just remembered that one of the nicest handmade gifts I have ever received was infused olive oil.

Lots of recipes out there, but the oil I was given was packed with colourful flavoursome goodies & in a beautiful bottle. I was genuinely over the moon with it.

[PoorYorick]

Crochet and knitting aren't that hard to pick up. Obviously there are some very complicated patterns, but the basics are fairly simple. It's more the need to dedicate time.

Also, when a pattern tells you how big the knitting needles have to be, listen to it. It matters. I found that out the hard way.

[CantSleepClownsWillEatMe]

I have some germ issues so there are very few people I'd be happy to have an edible homemade gift from. Something from my friend who is really good at baking? Yes, lovely, happy to eat hers and I know she's particular about hygiene. My family member who rarely has soap in the bathroom? Nope, that's going straight in the bin! Either way though the giver would never know I was anything less than delighted with the gift.

I think this thread shows that when it comes to hm gifts you really need to know your audience otherwise there's a risk that you've wasted a lot of effort and possibly expense.

[TheWhyteRoseShallRiseAgain]

Dragons? Morbid I love dragons

[MorbidBibliomancy]

OP, it took me a few goes, but with a bit of persistence and the help of a bunch of youtube videos I got there in the end. If you can get the hang of making granny squares (youtube is great for this) they're an easy thing to make relatively quickly, and when you have enough you can join them together to make a blanket. Scarves are also a good starting point. Even if you don't do handmade gifts this year you could pick it up as a hobby and see where you're at next Christmas

[MorbidBibliomancy]

Whyte, they're a work in progress at the moment but I'll likely hunt down the fibre craft threads when they're done to post pics! (If they're not appallingly wonky that is)

[nakedscientist]

Peppermint cream is easy, cut into pretty shapes and yummy.

[GinnyWreckin]

Oh god, I hate handmade gifts, and they go on the pile for the school fair at once- I don’t even unwrap them now.

Anything homemade is usually gone off, irritating for the skin or just falls apart. It’s a really sad sad present. I can’t count the jars of moldy homemade shite / acidic, staining bath bombs/ revolting scratchy knitwear I’ve just had to throw out (wouldn’t even give it to the school stall)


Why don’t you do something useful with any time you have on maternity leave and learn a language, take up zumba, or train for a 10K race.

I learned how to code when I was with my baby. Boosted my earnings, so I could afford decent gifts.

I agree with your DH completely, though he could have made you a cup of tea before he shot you down first.