Homemade Gifts. AIBU or is he?

[WonderLime]

This evening, whilst stuck under a sleeping baby, I’ve spend the evening browsing Pinterest. I’ve seen some great home made gift ideas and I was feeling really inspired.

DP comes home and I tell him about my idea to make a homemade gift for my Secret Santa present this year, as I think I can do something really cool with a limited budget (I’d been thinking bath bombs and sugar scrubs as they look easy).

DP says that ‘no one appreciates home made gifts unless they are really, really good - and anyway, it will end up costing you more’.

I’d told him just today how I’d been feeling quite low and fed up being on maternity leave, so it was nice to feel excited about something. However now I feel disheartened and don’t see the point anymore.

AIBU thinking about making home made gifts, or was his response unreasonable?

[mumdebump]

Your DH is spot on. Presumably you have just one Secret Santa recipient to buy for so why not just buy them a small gift box of mini Monin syrups or bath bombs if you think that those would be appreciated by your recipient. It will cost less than buying all the ingredients and nice packaging for DIY ones. You’ve also said that you’re not artistic, so potentially the presentation isn’t going to be your strong point and honestly presentation and how things look is important in gift giving. By all means have a go at making the syrups or bath bombs yourself if you think you’ll enjoy it. They might turn out great as an extra gift for friends and family, just don’t use them as a Secret Santa gift.

[oldmums]

i would love a home made gift, but they do cost alot to do xx

[StickThatInYourPipe]

OP

My dp says my motto for life is:

“Why spend £5 on that when I could spend £20 and make it myself”

He’s a dick.

YANBU (but only becuase I would be thinking the same - home made almost always costs more in the long run)

[brotherphil]

For some people, home-made means second best. Even when I was working as a chef at an expensive restaurant, stuff or recipes from work were either not as good as takeaway, or considered to be showing off.

[StickThatInYourPipe]

brotherphil

I agree with you that some people think home made is second best.

However, if I lived with a chef of an expensive restaurant, I would still feel that a takeaway was a treat. Sometimes people just want a dirty greasy pizza or kebab. I know I do! (Even though I know the chefs food would be technically better)

[Knittingsavesme]

I’m a knitter and crocheter so I know how much time and thought goes into a well made Home made gift. I love it when I receive something hand crafted. I make things for people I know will appreciate it and buy for those who won’t. I always make something for the Secret Santa at work. The presents are put to one side and we pick one up. I usually make a hand made gift tag etc and a couple of my colleagues make a beeline as they love handmade things because they feel they can’t make anything to save their lives. (Not true, but how they feel.) Horses for courses I say. My partner is very complimentary about the stuff I make - proud even. Why don’t you have a go OP and give to people who will value your time and trouble.

[Bobbi73]

I once made home made brownies (presented in a nice box) for people at Christmas and they were so popular that I've made them for years since by request. I am no Mary Berry but I enjoyed making them and people enjoyed eating them ( thankfully I don't have precious friends who would never eat anything home made!). Go for it hun. If it cheers you up then do it whether you give them or not. I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time 😀

[wowfudge]

This thread is rather depressing. I would love a homemade gift as part of it is about the time and thought that has gone into it. There's so much overpriced tat out there in the shops that something a bit different and homemade would be appreciated in our house. But then I come from a family where my dad makes loads of Christmas cakes (and other lovely stuff). I've never had to buy one and it's the best cake I've ever had plus consistent every year.

[AmeliaFlashtart]

I love receiving home made gifts and remember them all over the years. Sloe gin, aromatherapy body scrub and bath salts, jam, soap, coconut ice, homemade bounty bars. I barely remember any shop bought presents. Your hubby might be right about cost though!

[SherbrookeFosterer]

Do it. You clearly need something to lift your spirits.

Maternity leave can be very frustrating.

Don't worry what other people think.

Sounds like you need to think about yourself more.

Stay strong!

[Knittingsavesme]

The oatmeal bath bombs look fab OP! Hope they work out a treat.

[MistressDeeCee]

I keep homemade gifts. I'm touched that giver has been thoughtful. I do realise maybe it's a cheap way of dealing with giving presents...! But I like it anyway

[TammySwansonTwo]

It's most definitely not a cheap way of giving gifts - if anything it's more expensive, and people's time is very valuable too.

[caringcarer]

I am making Christmas chutney and marmalade this weekend. I will gift a few jars to my sisters and keep rest for us to eat. I have potted up spring bulbs in nice container and gifted before. I can't knit but have received some lovely baby jackets which I loved. I have made and gifted homemade fudge and cookies at work which were eaten immediately. Creativity is good for your soul even if you do not gift try final product.

[caringcarer]

One of best gifts I received was person gave me hand made vouchers to cut my lawn. I was very grateful and pleased with gift.

[DaveProdrick]

WonderLime, I would a hundred times rather receive something you have made and thought about than some generic tat from a shop (as for Greggs voucher imagination bypass) if the recipient does not appreciate it that's their loss and lack of appreciation for a thoughtful gift. Your DH needs a kick up the backside and a lesson in understanding. When did we become a world of tat accepting, ungrateful, unimaginative bores.

[MadMags]

It's astounding that posters on here think everything not homemade is tat.

So, do you never buy anything, ever?

[DaveProdrick]

Of course I buy things but most things that i have been given for secret santa , nominal gifts etc have i'm afraid been fallen into the category of tat the things I have treasured and have kept (excluding food items which I have used) have been made by the person. There have been been the odd small gift that has fallen into that category (often second hand) because the person knows me and has sought out something they know I would use. I am sure many people buy in this way, but all I am saying is that there is something special about people making you something in this throw away world of ours.

[RebeccaByAleneToo]

A homemade gift might not be appreciated, but the same applies to store-bought.

Cold process soap making is surprisingly easy, and after you've bought all the initial supplies, it's actually pretty cheap.

People I'm close to like my husband will get a well thought out storebought gift. Everybody else gets homemade soaps and fudges. I make a bulk batch that gets me through the holiday season. I'm sure some people love them and some people don't, but that could be said about any gift.

[Motoko]

Remember, giving away/selling handmade cosmetic (soaps, bathbombs, lip balms etc) is illegal without complying with the EU Cosmetics Directive.

Having said that, it's great fun to make for yourself. If you're a learner, I wouldn't advise making cold processed soap as you need to know exactly what you're doing, considering it needs lye, especially if you've got small children running around.

Melt and pour soap bases are good, You just have to melt them, add colourants (use soap colours, not food colours) and essential or fragrance oils, and pour into moulds. All sorts of things can be used as moulds, like silicon cake moulds, and tetra-paks, or you can buy lots of different moulds from soap making suppliers. Justasoap and The Soap Kitchen are two that I've used.

[ThreeBecomeFour]

A few years ago my bestie knitted me a scarf for Christmas and she always makes my Christmas cake for my present (she is a fantastic baker and has a cake business). I still wear the scarf and adore my cake every year and love the effort she made. Homemade is fine as long as it's not Blue Peter sticky back plastic stuff. When you don't have tons of cash you have to get creative. I'm not very good at art stuff myself so tend to buy but if I had the time and inclination I'm sure my friends would appreciate it. Explore your talents and see how you go and I hope it helps make you feel good. People get way too snobby imo. If you don't like what you've created then go to plan B xxx

[searose]

I was given a great gift last year presented in a lovely box which consisted of home made food products ( preserves and alcohol). Added to that were some little bought treats. Obviously it was a little more than a secret santa. If you can pull it off it will be appreciated.

[PoorYorick]

I'm really surprised that so many people don't like a thoughtful home made gift. Even if it's a bit crap, isn't it supposed to be the thought that counts? If they made it for you because they honestly thought you'd like it and had fun in the process knowing it was for you?

[Margaretwwl]

I love homemade gifts & generally go to Xmas Fayres to buy gifts (jewellery, cakes, frames, knitted/ crocheted good, cards, felted goods, decorations etc) for family & friends. I also make my own (very limited imagination & items, but I spend a lot of time & effort to get them right) but what I do make is always well received. I have family, friends & colleagues asking me to make gifts for their loved ones too inc cakes, chocolate, crocheted/ knitted/ hand-sewn bags, hanging decorations, altered clothing...

[WonderLime]

Thank you for everyone's comments. I'm glad so many people like the idea of handmade gifts, and there has been some inspiring ideas.

I had a go my first batch of bath bombs today, and while they are not the prettiest looking bath bombs, they've come out quite well. They are currently drying out and I'll give one a go tomorrow. Pending success, I'll start playing around with textures and fragrances to suit myself and my family.

I'm going to try out fudge tomorrow (never made it before), if it goes well that will be my SS gift. If unsuccessful, I make some pretty yummy brownies so I will whip up a batch and gift them in a nice kilner jar with a cheap additional (store-bought) gift.

It was really fun to give something new ago and I'm very pleased with how it went. I think if I hadn't have started this thread, I would never have tried. Thank you everyone!