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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Homemade Gifts. AIBU or is he?

327 replies

WonderLime · 13/11/2017 21:35

This evening, whilst stuck under a sleeping baby, I’ve spend the evening browsing Pinterest. I’ve seen some great home made gift ideas and I was feeling really inspired.

DP comes home and I tell him about my idea to make a homemade gift for my Secret Santa present this year, as I think I can do something really cool with a limited budget (I’d been thinking bath bombs and sugar scrubs as they look easy).

DP says that ‘no one appreciates home made gifts unless they are really, really good - and anyway, it will end up costing you more’.

I’d told him just today how I’d been feeling quite low and fed up being on maternity leave, so it was nice to feel excited about something. However now I feel disheartened and don’t see the point anymore.

AIBU thinking about making home made gifts, or was his response unreasonable?

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Pumperthepumper · 15/11/2017 14:02

There’s a massive difference though between making Alice in Wonderland themed mittens, which presumably took a lot of time and skill (and I’m sure we’re amazing) and thinking ‘oh, I just happen to have baking soda and red food colouring in my cupboards, I’ll bash together a bath bomb’.

LaurieMarlow · 15/11/2017 14:06

one of the women I was with bought a box of Mr Kipling. She said she would never buy home made stuff

That is actually tragic

LadyinCement · 15/11/2017 14:14

Well, at least the Mr Kipling woman was donating funds to the school fair. I must admit I am sometimes dubious about home-made cakes at school things as often not the best ingredients have been used. I ate a slice of cake recently at a thing and had to try to hide it in a napkin because it was like eating a lump of margarine...

TammySwansonTwo · 15/11/2017 14:32

Absolutely true pumper - probably took me at least 150 hours (very thin yarn and I'm not fast!). Totally worth it when someone loves it though, but very galling if you put huge amounts of time and money into something and someone isn't fussed.

I've learned my lesson now though - there are only a few people I make stuff for as gifts, because they do so appreciate it, everyone else can pay me 😂

MadMags · 15/11/2017 15:26

Those who won't eat food made in other people's kitchens for hygiene reasons, that really is one of the saddest things I've ever heard in my life. I honestly want to cry for you. It's like a deliberate rejection of everything that's warm, loving and hospitable in this world.

But dramatic!

storkdelivery · 15/11/2017 16:21

I shared an office with a woman who was absolutely phobic about anything home made. Wouldn’t ever eat anything anyone brought in. Funniest thing is, she had the worst diet of processed meat and packet food - in my opinion far worse to be consuming all sorts of unspeakable parts of a pig than a cake made in someone else’s kitchen!

Original poster
WonderLime · 15/11/2017 17:03

Come to think about it, I actually do have a colleague who refuses to eat cakes brought in and makes a big deal about germs. Yet her desk is vile - empty muffin wrappers and half drunk cans of red bull left there for days.

Thankfully she is not my SS! 😉

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Original poster
WonderLime · 15/11/2017 17:07

In case anyone was wondering, by the way, this is the bath bomb recipe I was thinking of trying:

lovelygreens.com/2014/04/how-to-make-natural-rose-lavender.html

If it goes well, I'll try and put together some of my own concoctions. But after reading the comments, I think I will try it out as a hobby for myself for now.

OP posts:
rebbykay · 15/11/2017 17:41

This year, I've made lip balms and soaps for my family. I'm wrapping them up with pyjamas, socks, eye masks, hair masks, a painted mug, home made hot choc stirrers and nail polish to make a "pamper kit". I made my own labels for the lip balms and bought pots. It cost £12 to make 9 sets of 4 lip balms, including essential oils and colours. So much cheaper even than Primark, where it's 4 for £4.

I think a lot of crafted household things can look crap but you can't go wrong with soapy stuff. It's really helped with my antenatal depression, too, as it takes an afternoon to make it all up. I think the ladies will love them! Not least because they're not snobs and appreciate a good pamper.

rebbykay · 15/11/2017 17:42

PS I saw miniature bath melts in kilner jars for DIY and I'd love a set of those! They were so lovely. I think homemade stuff is more natural and so much nicer.

SarahatCraftInvaders · 15/11/2017 18:00

Last year was the 1st year that I didn't give all my family a home-made hamper having read something online about people hating crappy home-made gifts lol (I make fruit liqueurs, marmalade, fudge and bath stuff usually). Everyone asked where their hamper was and seemed genuinely disappointed at not getting one so it's back on the agenda this year. The kids also make similar for their teachers. I probably wouldn't use a home-made gift in a secret santa but would definitely encourage you to have a go at the bath bombs - even if you end up just using them yourself. You never know where your new hobby might lead, I ended up becoming a blogger when all I was really trying to do was stop myself from going bat-shit crazy stuck at home with the kids :)

allwomanR · 15/11/2017 18:00

I’ve been making homemade soap with my DS using a melt and pour base. Really easy! Not sure it would be suitable for anyone outside of family though...
maybe something crafty with the baby for yourself or DH like hand/foot print in paint and frame? Easy project and a lovely end result

Nousernamefound · 15/11/2017 18:02

Go for it! I have never had any desire to make homemade gifts and then one year my sister suggested we do that so I agreed. Got my friend who makes jewellery to show me how to make something lovely. Spent fricking ages making it, was really pleased with it and come present swapping time she handed over a bought present and said she had completely forgotten she had said it! Never again.

Ravenesque · 15/11/2017 18:06

Homemade gifts can be a joy and I love receiving something that someone has gone to the trouble to make for me.

Then again I would say this as I'm knitting hats and fingerless gloves for all my presents this year. Given the variety of wool I'm using (acrylic for some, cashmere and silk for two of the people I love the most) it's very probably more expensive than if I bought gifts, but I love knitting and it's a pleasure for me to do it. If people are disappointed that I didn't buy something for them, then they need to have a look at themselves.

Ravenesque · 15/11/2017 18:09

N.b. I think you should go ahead and do it. You'll enjoy it, most people would be delighted that someone had gone to so much trouble and I do think your DP is being unreasonable.

sleeponeday · 15/11/2017 18:11

The ironic thing about refusing to eat home made food is that cakes are fairly hard to grow bacteria in. Sugar is a natural preservative and cakes are baked until cooked all through. You're far more likely to be made ill from a sandwich bought in a cafe or a supermarket - let alone from your kids touching you when clambering around a soft play.

There's a reason it's not too hard to get a food safety cert when baking cakes from home. It's a low risk foodstuff in food poisoning terms anyway.

ColonelJackONeil · 15/11/2017 18:30

Last Christmas my sis gave me homemade presents which I loved, but I am someone who likes art and crafty stuff and I love artisanal foods from a stall. I'm always going to craft fairs so she knows I will like her stuff. So I would be careful who you give your homemade gifts to and only give them to people who will appreciate that homemade look. Dsis gave me some cookie mixes in nice jars and a hand sewn Santa gnome.

Homemade Gifts. AIBU or is he?
Thebluedog · 15/11/2017 18:33

I bought some chilli plant seeds a few months ago and got the kids to plant them.

Much to my amazement we’ve got stacks of plants come up, my plan is to get the kids to pot them separately and give out to neighbours and friends as Christmas presents Grin saves the usual cheapo chocolates from Aldi

Original poster
WonderLime · 15/11/2017 18:38

Colonel that is adorable. I’d be genuinely thrilled to receive something like that.

rebbykay I love the idea of lip balms. Store bought versions are the kind of things that end up in SS anyway, so I think that’s a lovely idea!

I honestly would love it if someone made me handmade gifts. I wish I knew some of you lovely posters IRL! ☺️

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AL75 · 15/11/2017 18:42

There is this lady I used to work with who used to make home made xmas hampers to about 5 house holds she knew. I was always amazed by her enthusiasm and she was definitely a good cook. She would make stuff like home made chutney, cookies and an amazing Christmas cake soaked with whisky. She brought it in to work once and I'll never forget the taste Smile. If you can't see yourself doing all of these, it's still nice to make one item and give it as a gift.

Frokni · 15/11/2017 18:48

I am inclined to agree although his approach was rude. Foody gifts are more exciting if homemade- jams, chocolate slabs, food gift baskets etc. But that's just me. The person making them would need to be skilled for another type of gift- knitting crochet etc

MadMags · 15/11/2017 18:50

but I love knitting and it's a pleasure for me to do it. If people are disappointed that I didn't buy something for them, then they need to have a look at themselves.

So, you are doing it because you want to as it’s your hobby. And if the recipient isn’t in raptures about her homemade acrylic fingerless gloves, she’s in the wrong?

DungballInADress · 15/11/2017 18:55

Not RTFT but when DS1 was tiny and we were piss poor I made homemade food type gifts for friends and family. They all loved them. DS1 is now 9, we have more disposable income and yet I still make presents every year - chutney, jams, jellies, savoury biscuits, cookies, truffles, flavoured gin or vodka. I often use stuff I have foraged or been given or have had a glut of in my veg box. Thus far I've made jam, chutney and 1.5 litres of gin and I've spent £20. I sterilize my jars and have a method now to get the safety buttons on jars to suck in so preserves keep for longer. I cannot believe people would throw that out - give it to the food bank or to the next tombola!

It can be expensive but I keep a running total of all my costs then divide by the number I make - each "hamper" usually comes in around £5-6. I'd rather give someone a gift that I had put a bit of effort into, than spend £5 on some random shit that'll be thrown away by January 1st. Last year someone asked me where I bought my cookies from and my DB said that the chutney in his sandwiches was the only thing getting him through retail at Christmas.

Do It!

morningconstitutional2017 · 15/11/2017 19:57

I love a home made gift but your DH has a point - unless they're really exceptionally good they may not be appreciated. As it's meant to be Secret Santa isn't there a guideline on the amount to be spent? If the giver has to remain a secret wouldn't this also give the game away as I assume only a few of your colleagues will be artsy-craftsy enough or have the time to actually make something.

Squarerouteofsquirrel · 15/11/2017 20:07

Not wanting to shatter any illusions, but these people that have a problem with home made food and drink gifts, do realise that the shop bought stuff is not made by elves, but predominantly low paid factory workers, that don’t have a vested interest: beyond not getting sacked, in being hygienic.

Disclaimer: I don’t have anything against factory workers, but like in all things you get the good and the bad ones. Just putting it out there.