Homemade Gifts. AIBU or is he?

[WonderLime]

This evening, whilst stuck under a sleeping baby, I’ve spend the evening browsing Pinterest. I’ve seen some great home made gift ideas and I was feeling really inspired.

DP comes home and I tell him about my idea to make a homemade gift for my Secret Santa present this year, as I think I can do something really cool with a limited budget (I’d been thinking bath bombs and sugar scrubs as they look easy).

DP says that ‘no one appreciates home made gifts unless they are really, really good - and anyway, it will end up costing you more’.

I’d told him just today how I’d been feeling quite low and fed up being on maternity leave, so it was nice to feel excited about something. However now I feel disheartened and don’t see the point anymore.

AIBU thinking about making home made gifts, or was his response unreasonable?

It's the secret Santa that's the issue I think. At my workplace you'd be " talked about" and it just wouldn't be the done thing to give something made ( yes I know that sounds awful). Maybe do for friends and family though.

Good point Funder. The additives and ton of sugar and salt in ready made food is what will probably make people ill in the long run, ironically!

If someone gifted me homebaked goods I'd risk a stray germ/bit of dirt. I've never seen anyone refuse homemade cakes. At my work place, if someone brings in a cake everyone circles like vultures.

Bhaji I'm not due back until June, so hopefully they will have found something else to talk about by then. And at rate, it's supposed to be a secret. I'll just deny all knowledge of the SS present if it doesn't turn out well.

I've been knitting socks and crocheting scarves for various relatives since August, in the appropriate size and colour for the person. Everyone is getting at least one actual shop bought present as well.

I thought this was a nice idea but I'm a bit concerned now

I'm with your DH too, most home made items aren't really suitable for gifts unless the person is very talented.

A quick look on FB shows just how bad some are and why people don't like getting them. The odd person may love them but suspect most people are polite and say thank you and bin the item.

I'd make things to try myself but wouldn't gift them or use them in a secret Santa. It would be a shame to waste time and effort for the person to never use it.

IJustGotHitByaDeer, it is best to think of Mumsnet as a parallel universe in which people are obsessed by a) paranoid cleanliness and b)their own good taste. Also c) the wastefulness which characterises a decadent society

There is a parallel universe out there in which people appreciate that home made gifts can be a vaiued alternative to generic products - and one which reflects a particular kind of care on the part of the giver.

I wouldn't tend to eat homemade stuff in case it was cross-contaminated with gluten (I barely bake for myself even). Home made smellies unfortunately go in the same category as shop made - make me sneeze. What I would appreciate is something crafted (well), maybe seasonal so it can be happily put away each year. I don't think it works out much cheaper though.

'IJustGotHitByaDeer, it is best to think of Mumsnet as a parallel universe in which people are obsessed by a) paranoid cleanliness and b)their own good taste. Also c) the wastefulness which characterises a decadent society'

Oh, and demand money as a gift. That's what you should give, OP. Cash.

Lovely idea, but if you intend to make cosmetic products then you need to have the appropriate cosmetic safety assessment even to give away product.

Ah, at last! I'm glad someone pointed this out.

It's all very well making bathbombs, soaps and scrubs etc for your self, but it is illegal to sell or give them away, without following the EU Cosmetics Directive to the letter.

This includes only using the correct amounts of essential oils (some are restricted to only 1-1.5% of the formula, as they are allergens.

Needing to keep MSDS (safety data sheets) for each ingredient.

Having each formula safety certified by a cosmetic chemist (not cheap).

Ingredients need to be listed correctly and include all the allergens in the product. (Things like linalool and geraniol.)

And a whole host of other things.

If you make body scrubs, they really should have a preservative added, because if water gets into them (from a wet hand) they will become a breeding ground for pathogens.

So, go ahead and make these things for yourself, but you should also do some research so you can make safe product. I recommend you check out The Soap Dish Forum and the archives there, for a wealth of information and recipes. A lot of the members are US based, but there are also people from the UK and the EU.

Making them is great fun and when you see how much the individual ingredients cost, even the more 'luxury' ones, you'll realise just how much of a mark up the top end brands charge!

Sorry for the long post. The reason I know about this is that I started making cosmetics as a hobby that became a small business. I don't do it now though due to illness, so I don't know what the latest amendments are.

Cor there aren't half a lot of joyless fun sponges on here....

Homemade gifts are generally not well received unless the giver is under the age of 10 and it doesn’t involve food. The most bizarre one I️ ever received was from a second cousin who coloured me in a page from and adult colouring book and framed it....I️ kid you not.

I find the assumption that 'everyone else' in the world has a filthy kitchen. I tend to assume people have a normal level hygienic approach to life as I do.

What do you do if someone invite you round for a coffee - run your finger round the inside of their cups to check for cleanliness? Make them take a hygiene exam before you accept a bit of cake ? Life must be a nightmare of paranoia.

Throwing away food because someone has made it at home is incredibly wasteful.

There's some very snobby, sneery people on here.

“It seems the only people who are staunchly for homemade gifts are the ones who make them!”

Nope. I’m neither talented enough nor rich enough to spend money on fancy glass jars. Especially if I suspect they won’t be appreciated as much as something store bought that probably cost less.

I find it sad though. Entire markets across the country are run on artisanal food and drink. Why anyone would prefer something produced in a factory is beyond me.

Kerri I totally agree! Some of the people on here must spend a fortune on cleaning products, single-use items, and food that they throw away because it got left out of the fridge for 20 minutes.
Not to mention the hours wasted cleaning unnecessarily, and the lovely gifts thrown “straight in the bin because 😷”

Those who won't eat food made in other people's kitchens for hygiene reasons, that really is one of the saddest things I've ever heard in my life. I honestly want to cry for you. It's like a deliberate rejection of everything that's warm, loving and hospitable in this world.

Mind you, I've only ever come across these people on Mumsnet, never in real life.

Really saddened by some of the responses here but not at all surprised.

I'm an experienced knitter, crocheter and paper artist - I've made lots of gifts in my time, some people are massively appreciative, others couldn't give a toss. If I'm knitting something I only use natural fibres as I hate acrylic - ends up costing me a bloody fortune but so much nicer and more personal than buying something. Sadly I don't have time these days thanks to the twins.

Ugh, some of these comments are so depressing.

I have a friend who absolutely loves it when I make things for her. One year I knitted her some really intricate Alice in wonderland stranded mittens (as she loves the book) and every time I run into her during winter in the five years since she's wearing them. Made them from pure alpaca and they were the softest loveliest things known to man. Was hard to give them away to be honest!

There are plenty of people who appreciate handmade gifts - some people have some bizarre ideas! If I can't make something myself then I'll often buy something handmade - through bizarre that people look down kn handmade stuff and would prefer something made in a factory somewhere!

I've had lovely knitted presents from an aunt. She is so talented. Grown women making bath bomb presents is weird (and it is always women - has any man ever made a bath bomb?).

And as for children's cooking... if someone has been off sick with d&v and then presents a tray of fairy cakes they've made for the school fair - Noooooo!!!!!!

Should say that although I wouldn't eat homemade stuff myself I would happily feed it to the children who can eat most things. Sadly none of us can have heavily scented stuff and so sneeze our way past Lush every time! I guess it depends how well you know your audience as with all things.

I do agree with many above that it depends on the quality of the finished article..... I make giant Xmas and festive wreaths/ mirrors etc and I have been told by a lot of people who see the finished article that they are beautiful and would happily pay me to make them for them. I never take up these offers and for me, the joy is making them for someone I care about. I also try really hard to repurpose items I have (old fairy lights / old jewellry / ribbons/ charity shop bargains etc) so sometimes where possible there is an eco conscious element to them too. I love making them but I give them as gifts to my mum / sister / best friends etc as I know they love them. I wouldnt give them to someone I didnt know that well. Also they cost me a bloody fortune to make so homemade quite often doesnt mean cheaper at all.

My children are at the end of Junior school as well so I have time to spent 6 hours on a craft project and they join in sometimes too. I certianly couldnt have done that with a little baby.

Depends what it is.
I don’t want home made smelliest or food or glasses decorated with glitter but if someone takes the time to knit me an Aran jumper or cross stitch a cushion or quilt me a bed spread then I would love it.
It is a matter of taking into account the taste of the recipient rather than making a batch of glitter glasses or bath bombs and giving them to everyone regardless.

It really depends who you’re making them for, and what. I’m a good cook and one year I did my family homemade hampers of various nice jams, chutneys etc. I recycled things and went big on scavenged materials for presentation (it’s all about the presentation). Nice labels, cellophane etc

Everyone asked for the same thing the next Christmas. Fine. Then I started getting requests for certain chutneys and jams. Great. Then I started having less time and a bit more cash. What could I get people, I asked? Ooo we like the hampers... godammit.

So no, not everyone likes homemade but some people really do. I wouldn’t give people homemade other stuff though as that’s not where I’m particularly skilled. And this year people are getting bought gifts as I’m too pregnant and busy to do the hampers this year.

Personally I frickin love getting knitted stuff, as I don’t knit but love a handknit.

And I agree with @cantspell2, i tailor the hampers to the recipient. So one just gets jams, the other gets some bought stuff as well as homemade etc

*Those who won't eat food made in other people's kitchens for hygiene reasons, that really is one of the saddest things I've ever heard in my life. I honestly want to cry for you. It's like a deliberate rejection of everything that's warm, loving and hospitable in this world.

Mind you, I've only ever come across these people on Mumsnet, never in real life.*

Sadly Laurie (love your username BTW) I have come across someone like this IRL.

I was once at a charity coffee morning at DC school. Many people, including me, had contributed cakes. Some were home made and some shop bought.

At the end there were loads of cakes left so they said we could buy them. I went to get some of the lovely home made stuff but one of the women I was with bought a box of Mr Kipling. She said she would never buy home made stuff. Seemed weird though to buy a box of cakes she could have just got in the supermarket.