To NOT want to give neices vouchers AGAIN for christmas?

[MomtoOneMarvelousBubba]

I love christmas and the present buying and sharing. I enjoy thinking of the person im treating and working out what gift would put a smile on their face espescially if theyre a child.
My dps neices are 13 and 11 respectively. For the last two/three years we have been told by their mum they just want vouchers or even worse, cold hard cash!.

Now im in my early thirties and still to this day remember how pleasing it was to find out if i got the big present i wanted and what other fun stuff i had been gifted each chrimbo.

Am i being selfish to want to buy these Children actual presents - things they can unwrap - rather than just give them vouchers for brands that they shouldnt even be looking at anyway? Think Victorias secrets Pink

I think it's rude for parents to tell family what their DC want for xmas. Money and vouchers seem wrong to me somehow.

I LOATHE people asking for money or vouchers. It really isn't what Christmas is about is it?!

Buy them a gift that you think they will like and ignore the request. Christmas should be about giving, not receiving...I generally hate any dictation of gift tbh

My SIL loves buying stuff for my three DDs (she and DB have no DC themselves, through choice). For Christmas, they get them a small present to open on the day, and then have them to stay for a weekend and take them shopping. My DDs absolutely love doing this - SIL loves shopping (I hate it!) - and me and DH get a weekend off. Winners all round .

At this age they’ll probably mostly want banded clothes, makeup and tech. All expensive stuff that they generally probably won’t be able to buy ordinarily. Added to this teens are very specific about what they like and don’t like. So what you might think is more suitable might be a huge disappointment to them. If DD is given vouchers by relatives she usually sends a picture of what she’s bought so they can see and to say thank you.

Damn you. I've just spent £75 on bras!!!

Also agree with PPs that it’s rude to ask for cash or specific gifts but if someone asks you what your DCs want, I would rather be honest than have them waste time and money on something they don’t want.

You don't know what they want. You're imagining their smiling faces but is that the reality? If they want vouchers (which are the softer version of cash) then why not give them that? Or will you blunder on regardless because you have a need to see 'faces light up'? They're not so young, your niece and nephew and I wouldn't bank on it.

It's not about what you want. Not if you care for the person you're giving the gift to.

I much prefer to give presents. At that age if you're stuck just ask the DNS what they would like then go and purchase. Let their parents know so they're are no duplicates.

My dn loves slogan stuff so I have picked a pair of new look PJ's I know she will love. Can't wait to see her face when she opens them. Vouchers are boring.

I've had to request vouchers this year as I'm desperate for clothes and I'm already gutted I won't get to open surprises

Be warned OP you could turn into someone like my mother. She will buy me utter shite that she thinks I need despite me saying over the years that it's not necessary. Might sound hard but I hate the thought of all the pointless crap swirling around the planet just so someone can feel good about giving a present. Ask yourself, is it edible, drinkable or useful. If neither of the above then don't buy it. Like someone said up post, if you really need to give a present then get a lovely box (that can be reused) and place voucher or money in it and wrap it lovingly.

Gingerbreadman - am I reading this right? You’d prefer to give presents, but you’ve requested vouchers????

PinkHeart5914 Did you actually read the rest of what I said?! I thought I was pretty bloody clear that you do actually have to take into account what they like.

My teens want plenty of things but not anything I could ask their aunties to get.

Dd for example covets a pair of very expensive tap shoes & is saving for them. But she'd have to go to a specialist shop in London to try sizes. And I think sip wouod pull her face if I asked her to get Dd a single MAC lipstick. Even I can't buy clothes for her now.

Ds likes iTunes vouchers to put towards music or computer games.

Am i being selfish to want to buy these Children actual presents - things they can unwrap - rather than just give them vouchers for brands that they shouldnt even be looking at anyway?

I'm not being sarcastic, but I used to wrap my nieces' and nephew's gift certificates just as if they were very small presents.

Also, if you don't like the Victoria Secrets stuff, is there another shop they'd like a voucher for?

I think they are the right age now for vouchers, but if, as you say, you've been giving them for three years, I think the younger one was a bit young not to be given a proper gift.

My Nan, when too infirm to get to the shops, used to give us each a tin of fancy biscuits with an envelope with cash in it. I loved the cash but it also felt a treat to have my own tin of biscuits! Not sure children would now, but chocs or something plus cash might please you and them? Or make a Christmas cracker to enclose the money/voucher plus small item like a nail polish/fluffy socks/bath bomb.

Growing up, I had 7 sets of aunts and uncles, each of whom sent presents to me and my sisters every Christmas. I can remember precisely one present that I received during my teen years - a £30 gift voucher to a CD store. Best present ever. It was the gift of anticipation, knowing that I could buy anything I wanted.

Yes and no I think sometimes it’s nicer to have the vouchers or money or be given a gift you’d want than feel bad for having something you neither like nor will use which to me seems more of a waste of money and effort

I always ask for a list of ideas what a family member wants and then will chose from the list or if I’m stuck will give money or vouchers

My 4 teenagers always ask for money or vouchers. They either spend them in the january sales or save them up for a bigger item.
We buy little gift boxes to put the money or vouchers in and wrap them up so they still have something to unwrap.

How much are you planning to spend? Enough for something they want, or enough to buy something you think is ‘appropriate’?

YABU. Unless you’re willing to get the big thing for them?

You should see the shit my dad got my sister for her birthday because for some reason he decided to not buy from the list he asked for and she provided. She was really upset, it just showed how much he was thinking of himself and not her.

Honestly, if they’ve asked for vouchers, I’d get them vouchers. I buy nieces and nephews those multi shop vouchers so they can go shopping with their mates

We have discussions with my MiL every Christmas (and birthday).

She asks what my girls (13 and 16) want - we give her suggestions at a whole range of prices. She doesn’t want to buy any of them. We suggest vouchers - DD1 asks for vouchers to put towards her preferred brand of makeup (Mac), DD2 asks for a voucher for a riding lesson or our local tack shop.

But she won’t buy vouchers either.

DD1 currently has 5 years worth of make up sets sitting unopened in her cupboard. Both DDs are always very grateful and write thank you letters, etc, but these make up sets are never going to be used. DD1 won’t let us send them to the charity shop as she worries about upsetting her grandmother, so they just sit there. Probably about £250 worth. Such a waste

I wouldn't be buying an 11 year old vouchers for lingerie

You don’t have to get them anything

Not all teenagers want branded clothes, money or tech! Objection! At 11 my DD wanted hamster stuff, heelys, build a bear stuff clothes and sweets. At 13 she wanted nail varnish, a handbag, David Walliams books, Harry potter gifts etc.

People allow their DC to grow up too fast, she's 14 this year and only just starting to ask for JD sports clothes which she did for her birthday in September. For Christmas the only make up on her list is eyeliner. She's asked for a room makeover. No tech, no clothes!

I even asked her this year if she wanted money for the January sales and she said 'yeah I suppose. It's not very christmassy though is it? I'd rather have things to unwrap'. I don't think all teens are all the same at all and 11 and 13 is still young imo.

You're paying for the gift. You get to choose what it is, imo.

Buy vouchers that you know they will like but you won't enjoy gifting or buy something else you will like shopping for but risk them not liking it. Either way, the real point of presents will have been achieved: your nieces will know they have an auntie that loves them.

YABU. There is nothing wrong with asking for money or vouchers when asked for your gift preference.
Giving money is easy and if someone has specifically asked for cash then it's stubborn and selfish to insist on buying some tat that the person didn't want.

I think it's fine to stop exchanging presents if it's bringing you no pleasure.