To NOT want to give neices vouchers AGAIN for christmas?

[MomtoOneMarvelousBubba]

I love christmas and the present buying and sharing. I enjoy thinking of the person im treating and working out what gift would put a smile on their face espescially if theyre a child.
My dps neices are 13 and 11 respectively. For the last two/three years we have been told by their mum they just want vouchers or even worse, cold hard cash!.

Now im in my early thirties and still to this day remember how pleasing it was to find out if i got the big present i wanted and what other fun stuff i had been gifted each chrimbo.

Am i being selfish to want to buy these Children actual presents - things they can unwrap - rather than just give them vouchers for brands that they shouldnt even be looking at anyway? Think Victorias secrets Pink

I think gifts are about the receiver not the giver. I used to hate being bought gifts from well-meaning relatives that they “thought I’d like” when the reality was they’d never be used and would end up binned or re-gifted.

What’s wrong with cash or vouchers? At least they’ll be well-used and spent on things that will be wanted.

Never heard of a teenager or preteen who didn't appreciate cash. I would rather give cash so they could choose something than waste my money being something that they probably don't really want.

Not sure what's so bad about the Victoria's Secret Pink, it looks quite teenagery. Although quite expensive.

But still. Re read your posts. It's all about "I"
I'm sentimental.
I love Christmas.
I love choosing gifts.
It's not your present though.

Am i being selfish to want to buy these Children actual presents - things they can unwrap - rather than just give them vouchers

Yes of course you are. It appears you getting pleasure from choosing a gift is more important to you than them get a gift they want.

What about a fiver and small wrapped chocolate/lipbalm/nail varnish etc if you like giving a "thing" to unwrap too?

Yabu. I gave a teen in the family cash for his birthday for the first year this year. I usually get a general "thanks" message which is fine. But this year i got a message saying "thanks so much for the cash, Ive wanted X for ages and was able to get it today, well chuffed!!"

Much better!!

The problem comes when you have relatives all asking you as the parent what the child likes. Sometimes, I struggle to think what to get them myself,and then you have others all asking as well.

At this time with my 7yo, I wrack my brain for something suitable and within an appropriate budget.

For my 13yo, it's quite hard. Some of the things he may have asked for (tech usually) can be quite expensive, so vouchers can be put to good use and he will genuinely appreciate them.

Whilst I have never actually asked for vouchers on their behalf, I have no problem if they are given vouchers. My 13yo enjoys looking for items that he wants and buying them........

What's up with Victoria's Secret. pink?
It's mostly snugly Pjs, fleece tops and yoga pants!

I do think you're in danger of allowing your childhood to influence how you view theirs.

The world has moved on and teens and preteens love to be able to shop themselves. And VS Pink range is actually quite nice. My girls love it.

Regardless..... how you see VS is irrelevant. You're not their parent.

class="underline">Exactvictoriasecretspink why shouldnt they be looking at this? Do you think adults would want any of this?

link fail

I've been directly asking my teenage nephews what they want for a few years. Sometimes its cash and sometimes its vouchers to specific shops, and sometimes its an amazon link to something specific. I really don't mind what it is, as I'd rather do that and make sure they get what they really want, than get it wrong.

I don't give cash or vouchers, I hate it! Christmas is for actual presents imo!

I remember the joy of being 11 and someone giving me money, cash I could do with as I please.

I have nephew & Nieces aged 10-20, I get them each something less than £10 in the boots 3 for 2. Wrap it up and put money in a card and sellotape it on. Joy all round.

I often feel the same way as you OP, but so many of the gifts I used to enjoy receiving hardly even exist in a wrappable form anymore. Books, music, games, films

Vouchers and cash are great.

Wrap the envelope the voucher comes in. Best of both worlds.

I don't like giving vouchers and cash either, but luckily my sister and sister in law used to give suggestions for actual things, so it wasn't a problem.
In your case, I would probably sellotape a £5, or £10, note to a selection box.

My dds favourite thing to do is take their birthday/Christmas money and go shopping together.

My dm likes to give me something too but I also prefer money. I live No7 but rarely splurge on me. Last Christmas they had a gorgeous gift box containing everything I love but it was £80. A week after Christmas it was £40 and I treated myself with my Christmas money. Hate paying over the odds for stuff.

My older dns have vouchers from us, this year we have filled a mug with chocolate bars and put the voucher in like a little gift set almost, could you do something like this?

Just ask them for ideas for gifts. We don't do vouchers or cash so either choose or give them some input.

Just give them what they want.

To be honest, when I was that young, I was more than happy to get money and vouchers to get exactly what I wanted/needed. My mum, bless her, wasted so much money on us getting things she thought we would like - often we didn't like these things, but would pretend we did, and then never use the stuff.

I give my 2 teenage nieces money every time now, and some times a little something that they can unwarp. But that this is just symbolic.

speaking as a mum of similar aged kids. If you suggest a few things that you were thinking of buying and she said - no cash - then you aren't being that unreasonable. But if you expect their mother to come up with the suggested present then you are being unreasonable to react badly if the answer is a voucher or cash.

Do not underestimate the pleasure they will get from shopping to buy the special thing with the Christmas money.

I find it so hard to sort presents for my own gang, nevermind having to do the thinking for their aunts and uncles - usually the week before Christmas (my sister) or Christmas Eve (my brother and dh's brother)

The older I get the more pointless I find the enforced exchange of Christmas gifts. I’m not talking about immediate family - my DH and dcs - or the token gift for a good friend when you’ve seen a little something you know he/she’d love - but the tit for tat giving which can end up costing you lots of money only so you can receive a pile of tat in return. When I was a child I uses to think my dad was a bit miserable to have knocked the present exchange on the head between him and his sisters, but now I can totally see his point of view. You spend £50 on their family and they spend £50 on yours - wouldn’t you rather just keep the money and get something you’d really like instead? I’m currently tossing up between buying token fun gifts for my nieces or giving them cash. I know my own dcs would rather have cash (even if it’s just a fiver) than the tat my SIL usually gets them. So that’s probably the answer. The trouble is when you give cash it’s quite obvious how much (or how little) you’ve spent. Which shouldn’t be the point and yet somehow it is. This thread has helped me make up my mind - cash it is, I just hope my two get cash in return. It’s all rather unfestive ....