Sharing hotel room with friend... AIBU

[LittleMissUnreasonable]

Hello, first post so please be kind :) I'll keep it short but sweet

Friends birthday party is being held in a major city so very expensive to organise accommodation.
All of our friends have been invited including partners who are also part of he friendship group.
The only single members of the group without DPs is me and one male partner (his gf can't attend due to money issues)
A hotel room on my own costs almost double what everyone is paying.
I don't feel comfortable sharing with the other male as his GF is quite paranoid about him sharing with another woman (understandable)
There is 1 couple in the whole group married and living together (my friend of years). I have therefore asked her if I can get a hotel room with her for the 1 night and suggested her Dp shares with the other single male (they are close mates).

The friend and her DP have got back to me and said they would rather not as they hardly see each other and spend time together and want to spend the night together .

AIBU by;

1. Being hurt by this as they are the only couple living together and can't bare to spend 1 night apart so I can attend
2. Feeling a bit scorned they didn't offer to help me find an alternative. Just dismissed it.
3. Feeling like they were the best call as they live together unlike the other friends who are all doing long distance.

Sorry but yab completely u.
I would never ever have asked that or expected it.
Dh and I get about 1 night year in a hotel, kid free. No way would I share.

I'm sorry to say in this instant you might be being a little unreasonable.

If I had the opportunity to stay in a hotel with my dh, despite living with him I'd still look forward to it.

I think you might just have to bite the bullet and get your own room.

If 'one night in the grand scheme of things' shouldn't matter to them, then it shouldn't matter to you either. So, don't go.

YABU, couples generally share and you were asking a favour to change that which they are within their rights to decline.

Yabu. I’m not surprised your friend said no. If you can’t afford the hotel book a different one that is cheaper. Or don’t go. Or go for part of it and get the last train home rather than staying the night.

Aw, I know the feeling, being single.

Everything is more expensive and it is unfair.

Can you look for an airbnb alternative? Might be cheaper

Do they have kids op? Do you?
It makes a mahousive difference here.

Fassbender.... there is no way I'm missing it as it's one of my best friends major birthdays. I don't earn a lot and a hotel in this place is extortionate. It's not just a case of not going, I'm just trying to think of alternatives and not trying to pick an argument with anyone. Just can't miss something which means a lot to this friend

I don't think you can look at it that way though. Lots of costs are split if you're a couple, it's just the way it is. You're getting full use of a double room without having to suffer someone else snoring or hogging the duvet/bathroom.

Livefornaps thanks for the kind response. Yes I'm on it now :). Didn't expect to get so flamed on my first post lol

Arethereany - no one in the group (myself included) has kids :)

I would share with the male friend. Have done this before and it's been fine. As long as it's a twin room not just a double bed don't see the issue.

What other alternatives do you have, that don't involve others changing their plans?

I get the impression that you thought you were only asking for a very small favour. But it’s actually a really, really big ask.

I’m surprised you thought that “it wouldn’t matter much to them”.

A night away with your partner is a nice thing to look forward to (even for couples who’ve been together for decades).

A night in a hotel room with a friend is something you do for financial sake.

YABU - If I was attending an event with my other half and paying for a hotel room I would be offended if a friend asked me to share with her instead.

YABU. Just pay for a room on your own.

Is there a cheaper place you could bunk down? A B&B maybe?

YANBU. I miss my dp terribly when we're not together but if sharing with you and him sharing with other unaccompanied person meant you could save £100 or so, I'd be pretty mean to say no.

If none of you have kids, it doesn't make you quite so unreasonable.
Most of the responses here are probably from mums who would love a chance to be with just their dh for a night!

Sorry but I agree YABU, I’d really enjoy a night in a hotel room with my partner and I feel uncomfortable sharing with friends. I’d have said no too.

If it is in a major city you might be able to find some cheaper hostel accomodation nearby (if you would be willing to try that).

When we go to events with DP's friends which involve staying overnight the singles share where possible but then we always add up the cost of all the rooms and split them so everyone pays the same. Obviously you can't enforce this. I do think it's unfair that it will cost you more as a single person, but I also think YABU to expect a couple to split themselves between rooms.

arethereany we were married a long time before having D.C. We’d have said no pre- children too.

And I still wouldn’t have felt mean.

Perhaps look at Airbnb accommodation on offer in the area you are going to.

Sorry, but I wouldn't swap either. I am not wishing to be unpleasant, but I would have found the suggestion quite odd and I am really not at all surprised that they turned you down.

You need to source your own accommodation or admit that you won't be able to go.

I would actually say I couldn't afford it and not go if none of my friends were willing to give up a lie-in with someone they see every day so that I didn't have to pay double just because I didn't have a partner. Or I would share with the guy and the gf would just have to live with it.

A nigh away in a travel lodge would be a treat for us. No way in hell would OH and I be in seperate rooms. It's massively entitled to expect anyone to, and I can't believe you asked. As for feeling scorned at the not helping you find an alternative? WTAF?? How is it their problem? You've already put them in a potentially awkward situation if they don't like saying no to people, not you want them to run around and sort out your accommodation? Demanding much?? The fact that they live together is even more reson for a night away to be special. When you love apart, you pay attention to each other more when you're spending time together, as that's what that time has been pencilled in for. When you live together, life gets in the way. OH bought me a DVD for Christmas last year, we've been saving it for a movie night. It's still in the wrapper. Let them enjoy their night in a hotel together!!