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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've messed everything up. Homeless with 4 children.

205 replies

BowAndArrow · 13/11/2017 06:48

I've been stupid. So so stupid. Please don't feel the need to tell me that. I could not loathe my stupidity more right now.

We've accidentally intentionally made ourselves homeless. We have to move out 4 days after Christmas. At the moment we have no where to go. No where. I have absolutely no idea what to do. The council obviously won't touch us because we put in our notice intentionally. Family isn't an option and no friends. No money to get another property. Am actually terrified. Totally terrified.

AIBU to think there must be a way to sort this out somehow? Please be kind.

OP posts:
worridmum · 13/11/2017 09:57

also bear in mind if you do become homeless he can go to court to have an intirm order sorted out were he become RP and you become the NRP if he is so inclined and it would be a pretty open and shut case if you are indeed homeless for him to at least get temporary custody of the children (of his i mean i don't know if all are his etc).

I am not saying this to upset you or be a troll just informing you are possible consequences of ringing his mum up and telling her he will be having to deal with the kids for a couple of weeks in her shoes i would strongly encourage my son to take it to court to make in official and so he is not having to look after the kids full time AND pay child maintenance to you as well.

doodle01 · 13/11/2017 10:01

You cant move out
stay pay your rent or no one will touch you again
If you move you will be in B&B - well the kids will and you will be with them as there is no obligation to house you.

Desmondo2016 · 13/11/2017 10:02

It does seem a bit ott to be that distressed prior to simply trying to withdraw your notice, which if accepted would be the end of the situation.

CountryGirl1985 · 13/11/2017 10:07

Let us know how you get on OP, as others have said speak to LA and if they're spikey go direct to landlord. Getting good tenants in December will be a nightmare, so he's more likely to let you stay but the sooner he knows you want to the better.

LagunaBubbles · 13/11/2017 10:12

Good luck

CotswoldStrife · 13/11/2017 10:15

OP, you don't seem sure that the place you are moving to has actually fallen through - it may go ahead yet, you haven't heard either way. If you are worried speak to the letting agent about rescinding your notice.

Rachie1973 · 13/11/2017 10:16

worridmum just to keep in mind if you leave your children with you EX for a couple of weeks you WILL need to pay child maintenance for that period to him...

No she won't. Maintenance doesn't work like that at all.

BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried · 13/11/2017 10:20

Listen, withdraw your notice but regardless of what happens you dont have to leave on the 29th! Just stay. Tell the agent/LL you can’t leave. They’ll have to go through the proper eviction process to get you out. In the meantime your new place will be ready so you can move once it is.

StinkPickle · 13/11/2017 10:28

OP you need to CANCEL THE CHEQUE!

mummmy2017 · 13/11/2017 10:30

Get the Person who owns the house to write you a letter stating you were offered the house, but unfortunate due to unforeseen circumstance the house will no longer be avaliable, get him to confirm the date he gave as 1st Jan 2018, inclusde this is a copy of your letter stating your giving notice on your current property, take both these to the council and ask for a housing office to be assigned to your case.

specialsubject · 13/11/2017 10:38

You have no contract with the agent.
You can demand landlord contact details.
You do not have to move. Even if landlord wants to evict you, it takes months.

Get informed. Do not leave. Do not rent from landlords as dodgy as the next one.

user5783982 · 13/11/2017 10:44

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SparklyMagpie · 13/11/2017 11:00

Have you called op?

Original poster
BowAndArrow · 13/11/2017 11:04

Babykiller, your abusive pm has been reported.

Thank you all that have been helpful. Just trying to get hold of agent, they're busy this morning. I think I'm just going to leave this now, as everyone has said what I should do and I will be following advice.

OP posts:
Rebeccaslicker · 13/11/2017 11:08

Can people please stop advising the OP to withdraw her notice. It doesn't work like that. A valid notice to quit cannot be withdrawn or revoked or anything like that, at least not unilaterally.

IF the landlord is happy to treat the notice as "withdrawn", then landlord and tenant can agree to do so. However what you then get is a new lease that starts from the day after the break date. The exact terms of that lease could be uncertain so you're better off with a new tenancy agreement even if you have to pay an admin fee.

It's very old law and it may be overruled one day now that parties tend to be more commercial, but for the moment that's what we've got. It's important that residential tenants don't think they can just withdraw a notice at any time, because they could find themselves facing possession proceedings!

OhNoFuckADuck · 13/11/2017 11:19

Ask for your current landlords contact details and speak to them/email them today. Good tenants are hide to find and they will want you to stay unless they have already got someone lined up to take the place. We used to let a flat through an agent they caused out tenants problems (failed to get the shower mended for weeks on end and never told us - we were mortified and fixed it on the day we were contacted by the tenants). the agent will be keen to let the notice stand so they can charge a new letting fee, contract charge etc etc - it's no skin off their nose if the property is empty for a couple of months BUT they have to act in the landlord's interests and
as a landlord I would want you to stay. It'd be loads cheaper as I would still have money coming in rather than having to fork out on fees, advertising, vetting, mortgage, council tax. I really wouldn't care if the agent doesn't like you... and to be honest they are hardly going to admit it to your landlord ("these tenants we recommended for your property are terrible people and you should fork out expensive fees to make them homeless just after Christmas" - they won't be saying that).

Bertsfriend · 13/11/2017 11:26

I'm a private LL and untidiness doesn't bother me at all when I do inspections, especially in a household with young children, I'd expect it. However, if the house was dirty with grime in the bathroom and kitchen I wouldn't renew the tenancy - a house that hasn't been cleaned for months often needs a refurb. If your house is kept clean and you pay the rent on time I really don't see why your LL wouldn't want to keep you. Hopefully this is just a misunderstanding.

Original poster
BowAndArrow · 13/11/2017 11:30

Oh it's clean, it's just not tidy!

OP posts:
LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 13/11/2017 11:39

I hope it gets sorted OP Flowers

WildBluebelles · 13/11/2017 12:00

RebeccaSlicker I take your point but what they are telling her to do is negotiate with the agent to see if she can just stay on and they can ignore the notice she gave. I think people know you cannot unilaterally withdraw a notice but in reality, if a tenant has given notice via email and the landlord has not found a new tenant and the tenant asks if she can now stay on, it is perfectly possible for the landlord to simply ignore the notice given. If he wants to be an arse, he might insist on terminating the existing tenancy as per the notice and granting a new fixed term. Doesn't HAVE to do this.

I think people were suggesting that OP looks for a practical solution seeing as she will be deemed to be intentionally homeless and doesn't have many other options.

Btw I am a lawyer myself and there is a difference between the law on paper and what people do in reality if they both agree to it. No, LL does not have to agree to let her stay- he might do though because he probably won't get new tenants before Christmas.

Rebeccaslicker · 13/11/2017 12:14

Oh aye, in practice it happens all the time, as you will know wild.

It's just that quite a few posts here said "withdraw the notice" and I think it's important that everyone knows you can't rely on that working, as someone could come a cropper with that assumption one day! If you're going to serve a notice, be prepared to have to stand behind it, that's all I was saying really.

Original poster
BowAndArrow · 13/11/2017 12:33

Haven't got hold him yet, I'm travelling today and have dodgy signal anyway. He's advertised it though.

Will drop an email to ask for contact.

OP posts:
TheWhyteRoseShallRiseAgain · 13/11/2017 12:37

Late to the thread but just wanted to wish you luck what a horrible situation op Flowers

Fattymcfaterson · 13/11/2017 12:54

This is such a non issue. Really don't understand the drama

Original poster
BowAndArrow · 13/11/2017 13:02

Non issue for you, but I truly believe they would rather have new tenants and they have already advertised. Still haven't hold of them and low battery until I get home.

I cannot get hold of mum's partner to discuss what is going on with the house we were meant to be moving to, there's a good chance he won't talk to me because of falling out with my mum.

Non issue to you but to me it's important. Sorry to spoil your lovely day with my boring non issue.

OP posts:
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