Cancel My Wedding?

[Jonesy85]

I've posted this cry for help on another thread but thought I'd add a bit of background to the story.

So, I'm getting married and would love nothing more than the two most important and special women in my life to be there, my mum and aunt. However, mum refuses to attend my wedding if my aunt Wendy attends. They had a falling out about 5 years ago over the money left to my aunt in my grandmas will ( Wendy got the same amount of money as mum but also got left the house as well) I understand why gran left her the house so this dispute hasn't affected my relationship with auntie wend.

What should I do, I want them both there. Do I uninvite my aunt and risk my relationship with her. My mum must be there I would be heart broken if she wasn't.

AIBU to expect them both to be civil for my sake? Or do I cancel the whole thing. I'm stuck in the middle.

Obviously your mum will be upset about the house, but PPs are right that the house wouldn’t have been your gran’s to leave if your aunt hadn’t looked after her for 7 years. Nursing home costs are astronomical.

Hopefully they can find a way to work through this dispute. Either way, they should be capable of acting like adults for your sake.

I find it incredibly saddening how little some people appreciate the sacrifice of caring for another on this thread.

We had something similar at our wedding - we gave them the choice and they didn’t come. They tried to make it our choice and we said no - all invited your decision whether to come or not.

Do no let your mother make this your decision - it is hers. She is passing the buck as she is extremely selfish. She will pull this again and again if you don’t stand up to her.

Awful situation for you though xx

Invite them both and hope that your mum acts like the adult she's supposed to be. This shouldn't be your decision to make. Your aunt sounds like an amazing woman and I can absolutely see why you want her at your special day. Your mum really should be grateful to her for the massive sacrifice she made in ensuring their mother had the best care possible in her latter years and your gran leaving her the house in her will seems the fairest outcome. As someone else said upthread, fair does not always mean equal. I hope you have an amazing day with both of these important women there to support you.

Did your mother have a good relationship with your grandmother OP? Was there a reason why she didn't help out?

OP

Don’t cancel your wedding, if these two grown up women can’t put their petty problems aside for your special day then as harsh as it is , marry without either. Why should your future husband be made to wait even longer. Or invite one and not the other.

I thought in your previous thread you said you’d already invited both? Doesn’t matter really. Your mum is still in the wrong. Invite both.

Mothers are supposed to show unconditional love - she might need reminding