To think weddings are not ALL about the bride and groom??

[procrastinationsupremo]

People are generally so generous to people who are getting married, they travel, buy presents, dress up etc etc. Not to mention close friends and family who may well have helped out with preparations and organisation and made financial contributions to the proceedings.... Yet otherwise reasonable people seem to lose all sense and think it's fine to expect people to wear things they're uncomfortable in, pay for things they can't afford and leave tiny babies behind at home.... Surely it's a lovely, warm, happy, family/friends celebration and you just want everyone to be comfortable and have a good time?? What's the point of a perfectly stage managed wedding where everyone's miserable and trying not to resent you!!?!?

@Vango they may not have directly said that, but what people are implying is that for some reason the bride and groom should consider absolutely everyone else above themselves. Yes, people spend a lot of money to attend a wedding, but invariably that pales into insignificance compared with what the bride/groom/immediate family are spending to actually have you celebrate with them. As I said, you can’t please all of the people all of the time. I’m sure to some people our wedding day was some ridiculous choreographed day, but it was what we wanted because every single bit of it meant something to US. We didn’t do it purposely to piss people off, we did it because we wanted to.

And I disagree that “it’s not easy to say no”. It is. My uncle text me to say “me and won’t be coming unless you invite ”. I replied saying “sorry you can’t come. You’ll be missed”. It’s not hard, there really was no drama. No one plans seating layouts or pays for anyone’s meals until they’ve had RSVPs back. That’s why there’s an RSVP date and address. Yeah maybe it’s a bit disappointing, but it’s not the end of the world. Like when receiving an invite it should be remembered that it is not a summons, the person or people sending the invite also have to remember that they have no reason to expect every single person they invite will want to (or be able to) come.