struggling at work - aibu

[bluepoppyrose]

The short version of this is, ive been working as a support worker/care assistant. I have a 2:1 degree from a RG university but this job seemed to suit in terms of hours, little responsibility and work around the children.

Yet i seem to be crap at it and it has really affected my confidence. Although i am kind and caring many of the service users seem to dislike me. They don't like my accent and they make derogatory comments about not wantig inexperienced carers. So sometimes they will shout at me for being early/late but not the other carer.

I find one man gets very angry when i am near and i dont know why.

So aibu to conclude this line of work just does not suit me and bow out now?

It sounds like a horrible job to be honest.

I'd look for something else!

Could you change companies op? Do you provide care in hospitals/care home or in users homes?

I've been on the other side of this , as an auxiliary nurse in a children's hospital I have been the preferred carer for several families/children and have witnessed them being quite hostile towards other nurses unnecessarily. I think its all about trust & familiarity, for some of these patients I've known them since birth so have a good relationship & minor things I do (I.e bringing in bedding later than I said) I can apologise & laugh it off with them whereas I know if it was another colleague they would be treated differently. I am no better or worse a carer than my colleague but some patients prefer me and others prefer my colleagues. I have also encountered racism in my workplace however I try not to let it affect me as I try & remember these people are going through an awful time in their lives and it's probably not personal to me. Another thing, if you get the feeling these people dont like you then you're probably subconsciously not being as friendly as you would normally be & therefore they are also picking up on that. I think a good sense of humour and willingness to adapt to different people/personalities is a must in all care jobs and if you feel unable to do this then you should absolutely look for another job. Life is too short to be miserable every day!

OP I really sympathise, you are not going to "gel"or get on with everyone and I think the most successful carers who can detach themselves emotionally from the job.
Not all of us are capable of that, you obviously are unable to do it, it is no criticism of you, do not let it affect your confidence.
There is nothing more soul destroying than doing a job that you just don't like, once you get to the stage when you dread going in that is the time to just stop.
My dsis has dementia and has carers in, I take my hat off to those that go and care for her, she has become a rude, difficult, and sometimes violent women, her husband is worn to the limits with stress, and I have noticed him being sometimes "off" with the carers.
She took an irrational dislike to one of the carers who had bright red dyed hair, who knows why?
You obviously cannot detach yourself from this type of behaviour, you really are best out of it.
Hope all goes well for you in the future.

I worked in care briefly and I found the same. The ones who couldn’t help it I could put up with a lot more from than those who could.

I am white british, but a lot of the staff weren’t and some of the residents really were not terribly polite. In some instances I think it was outdated terminology and a form of description, but for some it really was out and out racism. It made me feel uncomfortable and I’d always ask my colleagues if they were okay if someone was particularly sharp with them, but I must admit I never called any of the residents on their behaviour or language towards other staff.

It must be horrible to have the experiences you have. I am really sorry to hear you’re going through this

Tipsy & OP

On page 1 OP wrote, "I don't think the people I work with see it as a vocation either. But anyway no matter."

Hence, my response. That is sad.