MIL and personalised registration gift

[UserShmuser]

So DH and I have one car between us. We had two but then we sold my old one and kept the one that we bought in his name but still together. He mostly works from home but we live near a train station so if he has to go in to the office can just get the train there. I am the main driver and use the car for work, taking DS to nursery, trips out with DS on my days off etc.

MIL told me last night that for Christmas she has got DH a personalised registration plate. He has recently bought a bike and I thought she meant for that as a jokey gift but she said it was for the car.

I'm not the biggest fan of personalised registrations anyway and would never get one. I know they can be really expensive too and I can imagine this one was. She has got his first name spelt out in letters and when I remarked that people might think that was my name as I drive it more she said "Yes, but he does own and pay for the upkeep of car so it should really show don't you think?" I was a bit at her comment and said that actually DH used our money to buy the car and we use our money to pay for the upkeep. At that point DH walked back in to the room and we stopped talking about it.

Then after we got home I got a message off her saying she was upset by my reaction and is considering taking the plate back. I doubt she can do that but whatever. She said she thought DH would love it and that it would be unfair of me to not give him the decision of whether or not it goes on the car. Also she said that men in white vans would be less likely to cut me off when driving if they think it's a man driving  I happen to know that DH doesn't like personalised registrations either so I doubt he'd want to put it on our car. It was late so I didn't reply.

Can anyone help me think of something to say to her about it. Or should I just tell DH and let him deal with it? AIbu to be annoyed that she knows i drive it the most but thinks it should be labelled as belonging to DH just because his name is on it?

Last word in naff. I think youve got bigger problems as your MIL sounds quite antagonistic towards you. Perhaps it's no big deal but it would wind me up.

Not all plates are older or newer than the car though

Each plate is assigned to a particular year (or half year in the case of the newest layout) so they are all either newer, older or the same age as a particular car.

1995 was M999 ABC for example. 1979 was ABC 999T. I've owned cars registered in both those years which is why I can remember them! The really old ones might not be specific years but they would still only be valid for cars newer than a certain year.

Not sure how that works for Irish plates though, soupdragon. A friend of mine has an Irish one that's say ABC 123 - I assume it also has a year, but not sure if the same rule applies if you're putting it on an English car.

Irish plates are registered to the county. So you have the year, county and then the number. So you might have 01 D 729 - car registered in 2001 in Dublin and it was the 729th car registered.

Not sure how that works for Irish plates though, soupdragon

A previous poster said the Irish system didn't allow it.

Now it think of it, my brother had a car he brought home from Germany which had to have a Q plate put on it. That isn't year dependent (but you can only have them in special circumstances anyway I think.)

I have a personalised plate that I got for my 18th from my parents. I love it but realise it is a marmite thing for most people. It is on the "big" family car that my husband drives every day and I have a clapped out old car for commuting. No-one really cares who's name is on it or who pays what, it's just something we like. If you and your husband don't like them then just tell her to return it, like you would a bad jumper or something! I'd also be tempted to tell her to ram her sexist opinions up her arse too.

Just a thought to add into the mix. The value of some of these plates, as long as they’re not too contrived, can rise exponentially. Take a look at some of the ads for them in the back of the Sunday newspapers and marvel at the prices. Think of them as a good investment and that might take away some of the naff-ness.

But Arthur that sort of common sense would just add to the jealousy of posters who talk about "wasting your money", like it has anything to do with anyone else what people choose to spend their disposable income on!

"At that point DH walked back in to the room and we stopped talking about it."

This was your mistake.

So many people on here seem to do this - hide these confrontational moments from their partners, when it involves his family. Why? To avoid conflict? You have conflict already, I'm afraid.

What you should have done was say loudly and blandly, "DH, we were just talking about the car and how it's shared. I drive it most, wouldn't you say?" then when the conversation moves on you can continue to reiterate that you both pay for its maintenance and running costs.

Soup sorry I understand what you’re saying but my point was, if you ordered a plate like the one you mentioned you could put it on any car despite its age. The only ones that the DVLA before are ones like TH15 MAN, your car would need to be a 15 plate or newer. Like wise MR55 ABC, it would need to be a 55 plate or newer, it wouldn’t be allowed to put it on an older car.

Plates without this format are allowed on any car.

Plates without this format are allowed on any car.

Which format?

TH15 MAN

Or

MR55 ABC

For example

No, you can't put M999 ABC on a car registered before 1995.

But

TSS MAN

Or

THS MAN would be allowed on any car

I think we are saying the same thing.

Apologies yes you’re right re the letter followed by three numbers.
I was thinking if it’s a letter with 2 numbers it can go on any age car, is that correct?

Lottie you can't make a car appear newer than it is for example.

If you had a number plate that was C123THE you couldn't put it on a car that was registered in 1980 for example as C regs came out in 1985.

From a fellow personalized reg wanker

personalised not personalized

I have a personalised plate AND it's on a BMW. In MN terms I've hit the Queen Wanker jackpot. It's fine though, because I actually am a bit of a twat.

It's a car. It doesn't matter what reg plate you put on so long as it gets you from a to b. I don't think all this hand-wringing is necessary over the choices other people make; it's like buying a designer bag or spending money on fancy shit in Fortnums; people do crazy things with their spare cash and so long as nobody gets hurt it's not really an issue.

Your MIL should perhaps have asked your DH first what he'd like for Christmas, and her attitude towards you stinks. But the situation is salvageable if you're upfront about the fact that you and your DH really don't like personalised plates.

Well done for pointing out it’s a joint car! She’s annoying. Can you wait and once she’s given it to DH you jointly agree if you want to use it? And hopefully he has to be the one to tell her he doesn’t want it anyway

PMSL at ‘I actually am a bit of a twat’