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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MIL and personalised registration gift

122 replies

UserShmuser · 11/11/2017 08:17

So DH and I have one car between us. We had two but then we sold my old one and kept the one that we bought in his name but still together. He mostly works from home but we live near a train station so if he has to go in to the office can just get the train there. I am the main driver and use the car for work, taking DS to nursery, trips out with DS on my days off etc.

MIL told me last night that for Christmas she has got DH a personalised registration plate. He has recently bought a bike and I thought she meant for that as a jokey gift but she said it was for the car.

I'm not the biggest fan of personalised registrations anyway and would never get one. I know they can be really expensive too and I can imagine this one was. She has got his first name spelt out in letters and when I remarked that people might think that was my name as I drive it more she said "Yes, but he does own and pay for the upkeep of car so it should really show don't you think?" I was a bit at her comment and said that actually DH used our money to buy the car and we use our money to pay for the upkeep. At that point DH walked back in to the room and we stopped talking about it.

Then after we got home I got a message off her saying she was upset by my reaction and is considering taking the plate back. I doubt she can do that but whatever. She said she thought DH would love it and that it would be unfair of me to not give him the decision of whether or not it goes on the car. Also she said that men in white vans would be less likely to cut me off when driving if they think it's a man driving  I happen to know that DH doesn't like personalised registrations either so I doubt he'd want to put it on our car. It was late so I didn't reply.

Can anyone help me think of something to say to her about it. Or should I just tell DH and let him deal with it? AIbu to be annoyed that she knows i drive it the most but thinks it should be labelled as belonging to DH just because his name is on it?

OP posts:
Rebeccaslicker · 12/11/2017 22:07

Just got in after a long drive and the toddler fell asleep so she's having milk and 10 mins of telly to try and lure her back to sleep. Postman pat it is, which i'd not seen for years.

He has loads of personalised plates! One on his van, one on a truck, one on a motorbike...

LittleLights · 12/11/2017 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KeepItAsItIs · 12/11/2017 22:34

Given your DH's update, it sounds like MIL is doing a lot more than buyer her son a Christmas present. I'd tell her to sod off tbh. She sounds like a twat.

MrsSchadenfreude · 12/11/2017 22:35

Rebecca - yes, it annoys DH when they are the wrong way round too!

PeiPeiPing · 12/11/2017 22:41

I don't like personalised plates either, but I'm not sure why. [embarrassed]

Most people I know who have them, have them so you can't tell how old their car is.

Why do people not like them? Why are they naff?

PeiPeiPing · 12/11/2017 22:42

I don't like personalised plates either, but I'm not sure why. Blush

Most people I know who have them, have them so you can't tell how old their car is.

Why do people not like them? Why are they naff?

WhatchaMaCalllit · 12/11/2017 23:10

I was trying to find the bit in Dave Gorman's Modern Life is Goodish where he spoke about personalised number plates but I couldn't find it on Youtube. Maybe someone else will have more success.
If you can find it, play it for your MiL.

Aderyn17 · 13/11/2017 07:18

She won't get any better unless your dh pulls her up on it every time. He really should tell her now that what she said to you was totally unacceptable.

sandgrown · 13/11/2017 07:25

Goosegrass that is harsh. My DD has an original personalised plate off an old vehicle ( just happens to be her initials) that was bought by a family member many years ago. She is not a wanker!

sandgrown · 13/11/2017 07:31

Matilda. I used to work for DOT and in the days of green log books, when only very rich people had personalised numbers, they were refererred to as cherished numbers.

Sayyouwill · 13/11/2017 08:17

I don’t mind personalised number plates. They make no difference to me.
However, this sounds like something my MIL would do. My DH does most of the driving however but it is still our car. I paid the deposit on it, we pay the monthly payments, he puts more petrol in as he’s in it more, but it is ours. FIL suggested the type of car to us and DH and I looked at it, loved it an bought it, but if you listen to MIL ‘she and FIL picked out our car for us’.
I would just say that you will keep the plate for when DH buys, maintains and drives his own car, as your current one is a family car, not his.

BarbaraofSevillle · 13/11/2017 08:19

They're naff because they scream 'I have so much money I spend it on crap like personalised plates', and that they see a car as a status symbol rather than functional transport.

Bizarre thing to buy someone, especially when they have presumably never expressed an interest in having one, and they aren't even the main driver of the family car.

I wouldn't have one on a car that I drive, I'd be too embarrassed.

Rebeccaslicker · 13/11/2017 08:25

Barbara - nice way to judge others on how they spend THEIR money. Some people enjoy cars. What's wrong with that? Perhaps others would be too embarrassed to drive your "functional" car or to pursue hobbies that you enjoy - how would you like to be judged like that?

I suspect you wouldn't like it one little bit!

BarbaraofSevillle · 13/11/2017 08:42

The well known phrase 'no-one likes a show off' illustrate why many people consider personalised plates to be naff.

Rebeccaslicker · 13/11/2017 09:03

The phrase "I have so much money that I spend it on crap" illustrates why many people consider cats' bum comments like that to come from pure jealousy :)

19lottie82 · 13/11/2017 09:07

Barbara but a lot of people do see their car as more than functional transport, many people love their cars! Nothing wrong with that. Your logic could be applied to many other items apart from cars........ people spend thousands on handbags, when a £10 primark one would do, or a Lidl plastic bag!

And as for screaming “I have so much money I spend it on crap like personalised plates”, you can get them for £250 so hardly a fortune.

I don’t mind people finding them tacky and not liking them, fair enough everyone is entitled to an opinion, but what annoys me is PP’s who love to shout “EVERYONE with a personalised plate is a twat!”.
No , YOU are the twat here!

Ttbb · 13/11/2017 09:08

Oh dear, can't you send them both back? The plate and your MIL I mean. I think that you should just let yourDH sort it out. Ultimately you don't have to use it do you? I mean you can just keep your current registration surely. This must be one of the worst Christmas gifts ever. Hopefully your MIL is a mumsnet user and will reconsider.

SoupDragon · 13/11/2017 09:57

The well known phrase 'no-one likes a show off' illustrate why many people consider personalised plates to be naff.

There's also the well known phrase "no one likes a judgemental dimwit"

PizzaPower · 13/11/2017 13:28

Spending money on a personal plate is no different to spending your disposable income on anything not essential.
I could claim that anyone who has Sky TV has so much money they spend it on crap. It’s not about having so much money, it’s about making a choice what to spend that extra money on.
It keeps cropping up on multiple threads, but we’re all different... what applies to one person doesn’t necessarily apply to us all.

llangennith · 13/11/2017 13:49

ExH always scoffed at personalised plates (I probably did too) then when I bought a brand new Rascal van it was issued with my initials. I was very amused and kept it. ExH kept making snide remarks which I ignored. When we bought a new Volvo he paid for a personalised reg!

MyOtherNameIsAFordFiesta · 13/11/2017 14:06

I think I find them naff because I find most personalised stuff pretty naff. It screams "ME ME ME". But I also find designer handbags and clothes pretty naff and tacky as well.

MaxPepsi · 13/11/2017 14:10

Is the plate newer or older than your car?

Also, if the car is in your DH's name is the insurance? If so and you are only a named driver that will have implications on your insurance.

gabsdot · 13/11/2017 14:15

I would love to have personal plates but the Irish licensing system doesn't allow it.
It's have GAB5

WatchingFromTheWings · 13/11/2017 23:24

Is the plate newer or older than your car

Worth checking that out! Because if the personalised plate is a newer reg than the car you’ll not be allowed to use it anyway!

19lottie82 · 14/11/2017 07:52

Not all plates are older or newer than the car though, it depends on the layout of the plate.

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