To expect my PIL to know how old my daughter is?

[NataliaOsipova]

Geunuinely interested in a bit of perspective! Younger daughter's birthday a few weeks ago. Saw the PIL - for the first time in six months - recently. FIL was asking how old she was as he and MIL had thought she was a year younger.

They had, in fairness, sent her a birthday card with some money in it, so I can't in any way claim they forgot the date. But I was a bit nonplussed that they didn't know how old their grandchild was! Am I being a bit picky, it is this another pretty definite sign of a total lack of interest on their part?

I have 4 nieces & nephews and I couldn't tell you for sure how old any of them are! Always send cards though :)Most of the time i have to think about my own age.

I keep a list on line and on my wall, of each new addition to the family, their names and date. After the first one or two, I realised how helpful it is to have a record of the year of their birth. And people's weddings, too.

We got married ourselves in year 2000

I last saw my grandma a few years ago (we're NC) and she got my age wrong. She thought I was 6 years younger I'm the eldest GC. The second eldest is 12 years younger.

She doesn't know how old my sister is. She doesn't know how old my uncles children are - or any of our birthdays.
She only knows the ages/DOB of her youngest DD and children. She lives next door to them though, sees them everyday etc. She hasn't seen or spoken to the rest of us since 2010/11. She's always said they're the favourites.

Hope your DD had a lovely birthday

My own parents would both have to stop and think if asked how old I am. My grandparents would definitely have struggled but I am 38 this year. I think it’s not that unusual .... the main thing is they care.

She's your world, but she's probably diluted by the others, plus they've probably got lots of other things to think about too
This is spot on.
I have 10 nephews. I couldn't tell you the birthday of any of them.
I never buy birthday presents or Christmas presents ( and mine don't get any from various aunts and uncles) and it had always been like that. We are all quite close and talk a lot and meet up.
Not Knowing birthdays of close members of family isnt necessary an issue.
(However it took me 24 years to remember that DP's date is the 02 and not 03 and I still get dad's mixed up!)

I cant remember what ages my older brothers are never mind every child in the family! I have to work out my own too. My SIL has 6 kids and I only know one age as it's similar to my dds age. As long as the birthday has been acknowledged I don't see the issue

Yeah I have a large family - my mum is one of 5 siblings, dad is one of 4 siblings, I'm one of 3 siblings, I have 24 cousins, 1 DD, 6 nieces/nephews and so we have a birthday practically weekly ... and that's before I throw in any of my friends' birthdays, their kids, Ex''s birthday, his family etc

I barely keep up with whose birthday it is, never mind how old they are!

My grandmother forgot her own age one year, told everyone she was tuning 90 rather than 89 and refused to believe me when i reminded her.

Turned out to be the beginnings of dementia. I have absolutely no excuse however for the fact that i gave my eldest's DOB when talking to the Dr about my younger daughter. I'm 37.

Natalia - unfortunately I've learnt this lesson the hard way as my parents have shown me over and over how little they care about me. It has been hugely painful and is a terrible burden to bear but my children have me to love them and they are largely unaffected by their grandparents deficiencies.

spacegirl

Sounds very much like their loss....

My in laws would forget this kind of thing. But they remember the birthday and they'd ask her age. I can't keep track of everyone's ages either. I don't think its that bad, especially as they have so many other gc.

I have eight nieces and nephews and while I can (I think) remember how old each is, it does take ages and a fair bit of calculation!

If I only had one or two I’d have less excuse, admittedly, but when there’s a number of them it becomes a nightmare trying to keep track!

My ex MIL couldn't even remember the ages of her own children,never mind her grandchildren. I remember her arguing with my exH once,insisting that his younger brother was 22,not 23. ExH phoned him in the end,and he confirmed that he was indeed 23.