To spend less than £50 per child at Christmas?

[hibbledobble]

I read the thread where people were talking about spending as much as £1000 per child, and the average was in the 100s.

I can afford to spend a lot, but I don't see the need or the benefit in buying a lot. I plan on getting one large and one small present per child and maybe some chocolate. Things they will play with and cherish.

I don't buy into the consumerist culture surrounding Christmas, and I don't want to raise spoilt children.

Aibu?

Just do what you want don’t seek approval from other people or do what their tradition is, be your own.

I believe when they are little and Father Christmas is the believer then lots of things wrapped up as it adds to magic but when they are older they know so do what fits your family and what you can afford

Remember Sainsburys have double up on points next week. So if you have £20 worth you can double that for a £40 voucher which may help.

Totally irrelevant to the thread here, but I've just remembered a present my then three year old child wanted to buy herself when she had £2 to spend (not that she had any idea of the value of money, still doesn't, and she's at Uni now).
Anyway, the present she wanted to buy herself was a roll of sellotape and wrapping paper. She then spent the next week wrapping up random items in front of me, and giving them to me as presents to open. It was a tedious week quite amusing!

Thtas helpful to know, Thanks Wax. Wish Tesco still did the double up for toys like they used to to.

Really I've got loads of points, I didn't realise I had so many, £30pw petrol for a year but I don't shop in sainsburys. Will wait till next week and double them.

Two gifts seems a little.... mean?
It just doesn't really seem like much to look forward to.

I'd also like to let you know that plenty of children get lots and lots for Christmas and don't become spoilt like you say. My DD usually does very well out of Christmas, £100 of presents off my dad. £100ish from DHs parents, depends from us, may be £250 usually much more (not a brag- but part of me has felt the more I bought them ore I was showing her I loved her! Working on it and the piles are way smaller and between 250 and £500 ish, depends really)
And she is a lovely child, spoilt children are made by bad parenting, not Christmas.

Juddy I think I'll have a look at those books too. Thank-you

It's always well off families that brag about not spoiling their kids at Christmas. I just don't get the mentality tbh.

My parents had sporadic income growing up, and it was their absolute pride that despite this we always had a proper Christmas with a stocking. My mum always saved a couple of rolls of wrapping paper from the previous Christmas and throughout the year she'd stockpile things like nice socks, stationery, new toothbrush or mini toothpaste, bits here and there and wrap them so we had loads of little things to unwrap - my absolute favourite was she'd always find a novelty pack of tissues with dinosaurs or something equally bonkers on!

I guess if you already have all that stuff you don't really need to provide it at Christmas though? I just find it sad that people see that as a sign of superiority rather than being more fortunate...

innazing that sounds so sweet. But yes kids do like unwrapping stuff. Although I do refuse to buy stuff for the sake of it.

I agree with pp that getting the balance right isn't easy

It's always well off families that brag about not spoiling their kids at Christmas.

Absolutely this. And I have no problem at all with families not spending much because they don't want to. Entirely up to you, have whatever kind of Christmas you want. It's nothing whatsoever to do with me.

The problem is when those same posters chastise others for being consumerist or wasteful or start hand-wringing about spoilt children.

What other people do is none of their business. Getting moralistic about it shows a lack of understanding of the culture and traditions of other people's Christmas, often people who lead less privileged lives overall than them.

It's that superior, middle-class, 'I know better than you' lecturing that's so obnoxious. Butt the hell out.

Anyway, from this thread, looks like there will be lots of happy kids on Christmas day . I for one am really looking forward to it.

I don't think I know better. I am not superior. I feel concerned that Christmas has become about spending. This, in my view, may lead to people feeling pressure and some children sometimes to place great value on material goods.

This thread is about people who can afford it spending more than £50 on their children at Christmas. Posters who can afford it have said that they get pleasure from giving their children presents and are not pressurised and their children are not spoilt by the fact that they receive presents. Therefore why are you concerned that they feel under pressure to buy presents or that their children place more value on material goods than yours. Do you think you know better than the posters on this thread regarding their own children, pressures and finances?

People are entitled to have an opinion.

Personally I find sights of mounds and mounds of presents under the tree for small children who barely look at what they've opened before moving on to the next one and the next one a bit dispiriting. I'm not saying we should go back to the days of an orange in your stocking and a jigsaw under the tree, but there's a happy medium.

In my experience, it's often parents who really can't afford it who spend hundreds of pounds on their children, putting themselves into debt and not being able to afford the necessities as a result. That's a real issue and a mindset that needs to be changed.

It's that superior, middle-class, 'I know better than you' lecturing that's so obnoxious

This. And it happens year after year after year on here. It does make me wonder what people think in RL when my children are excitedly telling them what they got. To be honest though I don’t know a single person that would only spend £50 on their child for Christmas. The mum in the family I thought might be like that recently told me that they’d made their son save £50 towards a Nintendo Switch then paid for the rest for this as he was so desperate for one they felt awful making him wait till Christmas 😁

People are entitled to have an opinion

Sure. And rich people who choose not to spend their money who have an opinion on how much the rest of choose to spend our own money can be told to fuck off.
Free speech, innit?

User I certainly don't know anybody who gets themselves into debt for Christmas nor do I think anybody on this thread is in that boat.
But I will say people who are less well off are normally very good at bargain hunting and getting the most for their cash.

In my experience, it's often parents who really can't afford it who spend hundreds of pounds on their children, putting themselves into debt and not being able to afford the necessities as a result. That's a real issue and a mindset that needs to be changed.

My guess is that your experience comes from reading the Daily Mail rather than having an intimate knowledge of peoples finances and Chirstmas trees. Regardless, this thread isn't about people who can't afford it though so not really relevant.

Well I know from charity work that there are people who spend say beyond their means on Christmas presents and then struggle to pay the electricity bill or rent.

I know people who get in debt for xmas

You can get a lot for £50
And in the end it's the time you spend with them not the amount of money

Well I know from charity work that there are people who spend say beyond their means on Christmas presents and then struggle to pay the electricity bill or rent.

Again, this thread is about people who can afford it spending more than £50 on their children.

You can get a lot for £50

Well no, you can't. The lego set dd asked for is £65 alone.

I guess I come from a place of real privilege where actually I just buy them what I want to buy them, without thinking massively about cost. I can't imagine if you can afford it sticking rigidly to 50 quid per child, just weird. So yabu unless that is what you can afford. I certainly don't spend a grand or anywhere near.

I remember opening piles of presents really fondly from childhood, some of the things (trainers etc) they need anyway but because it's Christmas I slightly up the budget.

Well I know from charity work that there are people who spend say beyond their means on Christmas presents and then struggle to pay the electricity bill or rent.

Well of course there are. But it isn't just pressure, a lot of it is actually just wanting to have a good time for one day a year to escape their usual shitty circumstances.

It all changes with age of children doesnt it?
personally speaking, when mine were little in the 80's and early 90's they really loved unwrapping lots of little things. I used to buy a few bits from about September onwards, craft stuff, books, stationery etc. One year one boy really wanted a gold pencil crayon!
As they got older the pile did get smaller, but I did wrap up new underwear, football accessories, nice toiletries etc.
Until they had all finished school /university money was quite tight, so no huge expense. They tended to have major presents like bikes, cricket bats etc for birthday presents and that cut out the problem of if spending a lot on one childs Christmas present I would have to equal it for the others.
Since my first child was born in 1982 up until 2013 when the youngest left university, I kept a series of notebooks with all my purchases so that I could keep the spending fairly equal. It makes quite fascinating reading, a bit of social history showing how trends came and went! the entries for 1992-5 make me feel a bit guilty as the youngest had a lot of baby toys rewrapped from the attic that had belonged to his older brothers!

i get that parents will often spent much, much more than £50pc if they're buying something big like a bike, games machine, whatever, and that's fine.

what i strongly dislike is the mentality that a parent who's spent less than this sum & whose kids don't really want or need anything right now should be racking their brains trying to think of things to waste the cash on.

i'm planning to spend less than £50 on my 6 yr old son this xmas because i don't think he really wants or needs anything. looking round our house & noting how often he plays with the stuff he has it's really obvious that we've overspent in the past. but then i might get him a c£25 star wars lego advent calendar just because i think he might really enjoy the whole thing about opening a door & getting something tiny every day [asda similarly do c £25 peppa pig calendars which i may buy for my daughter].

the important point is that i'm thinking carefully and honestly with myself about what he'll actually enjoy having. i won't waste a penny just for the sake of it.

YANBU for spending £50. YABU for thinking you are doing parenting the right way while others are raising spoilt kids.

This.

what i strongly dislike is the mentality that a parent who's spent less than this sum & whose kids don't really want or need anything right now should be racking their brains trying to think of things to waste the cash on.

The issue I quite often have is that DD1 always wants loads and DD2 whose birthday is close to Christmas writes a list which I could buy for a tenner. .... It has to at least appear equitable, so I end up racking my brains over DD2.