To spend less than £50 per child at Christmas?

[hibbledobble]

I read the thread where people were talking about spending as much as £1000 per child, and the average was in the 100s.

I can afford to spend a lot, but I don't see the need or the benefit in buying a lot. I plan on getting one large and one small present per child and maybe some chocolate. Things they will play with and cherish.

I don't buy into the consumerist culture surrounding Christmas, and I don't want to raise spoilt children.

Aibu?

Of course it’s not all about the amount you spend on presents! But you can spend a lot and make it special in many other ways too.

Why are people who question the need to spend and indulge labeled as sanctimonious?

Because they are judging people spend more than £50 and implying that they are inferior to you. For example, you said that those who spend more are “bombarded with the myth that all will be well if you have the latest XYZ. It takes conviction and a massive amount of effort to say no” i.e. you are “making a show of being morally superior" which is the definition of being sanctimonious

So by expressing concern about the commercial aspect of christmas and the pressure some people may feel, I am encouraging people with money who don't over indulge to feel bad?

Worse child I ever knew was the girl whose mum bought her and her sister a megapile of gifts fot Christmas and her birthday. She wouldn't share her toys and would often grab back anything my dd was playing with. When she grew up she had no friends .

I know a child like that Jayfee who isn't spoilt with loads of gifts, she wants everything and doesn't want to give it up, at play dates she wants to take all the other dc toys home, and wont share when playing, its nothing to do with gifts,.

So by expressing concern about the commercial aspect of christmas and the pressure some people may feel, I am encouraging people with money who don't over indulge to feel bad?

Eh? Where have I suggested that you are "encouraging people with money who don't over indulge to feel bad?" You are suggesting that those with money who choose to buy very little for their children are superior..

lady

depending how old they are you can get presents second hand, xmas school fairs, charity shops, ebay. when dd was younger we had far less ££ and I got lots for free...and second hand and she didnt know it was still something to open.
if you asked any young dc, would like to open one gift worth 50 on xmas morning thats brand new or - open loads more toys second hand..i know which most would prefer.

It does get harder when they get older.

Omg nobody is superior. Just don't believe stuff makes us happy. We are gobbling up the resources of the planet.

Laurie
I'm used to full on working class Christmases. They are bloody fantastic. My PIL on the other hand are very upper middle class. My first Christmas in their house was grim beyond belief. Cornflakes for breakfast, Church (fine), cheese (not even fancy cheese) for lunch, presents weren't opened until about 5pm and only because I agitated. We may as well not have bothered, they spent about 50p on each other anyway. No booze until dinner was served at 6. No TV until the evening.

I suffered one of those Christmases. Gifts given out between courses of dinner "stops the children getting over excited" it was depressing "the children" really meant my 3 year old "Eat up your dinner and you can open another present".

After dinner i was expecting some games. So i opened a game and started playing with DS. Who was laughing and getting a little exciting he was then being told to be quiet as baby cousin had been put to bed. Wtf- totally sucked the joy out of it!!!

Also why gets piles of presents, does it really make anyone happier to have so much stuff?

Yes. It absolutely does make people happy to get new stuff, that they want and enjoy. What a stupid question, of course it does!

OP comes from a lofty position of having plenty of money and her children are probably give stuff all through the year. They are the kids with ipads just because, but she thinks its ok to judge others for saving up and buying the ipad for Xmas.

Yes. It absolutely does make people happy to get new stuff, that they want and enjoy. What a stupid question, of course it does!

Hotbuttered I think you've summed it up perfectly.

Omg nobody is superior. Just don't believe stuff makes us happy. We are gobbling up the resources of the planet.

Others have said it makes them and their children happy to receive presents at Christmas. Thinking you know better regarding what makes other people happy is a superior attitude in itself.

I think the OP is being sanctimonious.

If all you have to spend is £59, then obviously that is all you have.

But if you buy bikes, ipad, games for the console, new football kit etc throughout the year 'just because' then you can't really judge people who spend a lot at Christmas all in one go.

I will spend £400 each on my children. One wants the newest Nintendo console and a couple of games for it, that over £300 right there. The oldest is getting a huge lego set that he has dreamt of for years. He says he "knows" he won't ever get it. I'm going to take his breath away this year. They get very little through the year and are encouraged forced to save and keep small budgets. I've been saving the whole year for Christmas and I don't think it's extravagant. I don't drink, I don't go out socially, I don't get take always - I have had one this year I think. My kids aren't spoiled, they're absolute stars. I can't wait to see their faces 😊

We are gobbling up the resources of the planet.

That's nothing to do with the amount spent though is it? You could spend £50 on a massive amount of tat that will head straight to landfill or spend £500 on a 2nd hand laptop which will be used every day for years.

*MsGameandWatching
*
I can just imagine your sons face when he opens his Lego set that he’s dreamed about! I love that face on my son when he receives something he never expected to get right there in front of him!

MrsGame which Lego set is it? Being curious.

I'm guessing the death star!

I don't think I know better. I am not superior. I feel concerned that Christmas has become about spending. This, in my view, may lead to people feeling pressure and some children sometimes to place great value on material goods.

I put £17pw away out my wages which means the kids get 300 each at Xmas, I don't go out socialising, I don't drink. The Xmas food shop I get out of my years tip money and whatever holiday pay I have left. If I was getting myself into debt with payday lone's to give them £300 each then that would be a problem. I love Xmas, I like saving up for it and giving the kids the big stuff the are not expecting, it's the one day of the year they get spoilt as they just get stuff they need through the year. My eldest teen said DM I don't really need anything just get my sisters stuff first if you haven't got enough money. This will probably be her last Xmas where she gets as much as the younger ones so I've got her what she wants.

I don't feel guilty about doing without and saving up all year to buy presents for them. I think they would still be happy if I spent £50 each but I don't want to.

You got it wax

The OP's been an absolute joy on this thread. Clearly wanted everyone to tell her she was right. When they didn't, threw a massive tantrum. Lovely

Thinking of getting DS something extra in honour of her.

This, in my view, may lead to people feeling pressure and some children sometimes to place great value on material goods

Oh you think there is a chance of that, do you? Aren't you a bit bloody late, Cassandra?

Oh MrsGame he will be star struck. Happy Christmas. It does look fantastic.