This is maybe more of a WWYD.
My DH is depressed. He has been for about 2 years at least, although neither of us spotted the warning signs and he has never been to the GP about it so it's not officially diagnosed. He is really, really, really low, finds zero enjoyment in anything, has isolated himself almost completely (cut contact with his parents, lost contact with friends) and he wants a divorce and to leave me and the kids. He's lost so much weight, he looks awful, his cheekbones are jutting out and he has a kind of grey colour to his skin.
However he refuses to see the GP, doesn't want to take medication, believes he can't afford to take time off work (we would find a solution for money if we had to) and has a refusal for every single suggestion that I give him. He's seen a therapist but it hasn't helped so far and he says he's not going to go back after this evening's session.
Despite us divorcing I still love him and care about him. We're still in the same house as neither of us has anywhere else to stay so I see everyday how down he is and it is breaking my heart into tiny pieces. I am so helpless. I want to help him, I want to get him to see how ill he is but even when I'm sobbing and begging him to go see the dr, he still won't go. He does seem to take in everything I say though, but doesn't agree to doing anything about it. He honestly thinks this is just his lot and there's no way out.
My question is not really AIBU, it's more what can or should you do when you see your husband go from a lovely, happy go lucky man, to a deeply depressed shell of a man who wants a divorce and to leave his family? When I married, I married for life, through the good times and the bad, through sickness and health, so in that respect I shouldn't give up. But on the other hand, this divorce is happening now, and he is doing literally nothing to get help despite my pleading. I have tried everything. Is it ever ok to just stand back and allow this to continue? I'm scared he does something stupid...