To want to keep people out of my bedroom?

[Lazyginger]

So myself and dh bought a house together a year ago. I had my own flat and used the capital as deposit (Yes I protected myself by getting it written up by solicitors) but it's dh' s first house. It's a big farmhouse so we're both very proud of it naturally. Needs a lot of work doing but we'll get there.

Anyway, here's the aibu. Everyone he invites round (all his chums) get the whole tour including our bedroom, the ensuite the lot. I totally understand that he's proud to be living in such a place. However I don't want people looking around our bedroom, bathroom etc looking at all my stuff etc. There's a downstairs bathroom too so no need to come upstairs at all. Surely a look around the ground floor and garden is sufficient? I certainly don't expect a grand tour every time I go to someone elses house I've not been in... I've cautiously mentioned this before but he's got all huffy and wants to show the house off.

But now there's talk of Christmas relative visits and I'm getting nervous of my space being invaded ! Am I being precious?

Wait until you have random teenage friends of your DC shagging on your bed during house parties.. That's the time to get precious😀

My dad did this to strangers off the street. He had built an extension and done a lot of work on the house and was very proud of himself. When he was working on the drive people would walk past , get talking and my dad would show them round !!!

There’s no right or wrong here. People do different things. You just need to compromise. You can show them everywhere except our bedroom. It’s a bit of give and take because it’s both your house with equal right to do what want in it regardless of who put the deposit down.

It's very common. But if you don't like it then ask him to shut your door and leave the room out.

Can't understand all this angst about bedrooms being sacrosanct. Anyone can look in my bedroom, there's a bed, two bedside tables and a run of wardrobes, nothing out of the ordinary at all.

Ok, posters talking about people have sex in the bed, how original. Why all this coyness about visitors looking at the room, its just a room fgs.

I don’t understand why the fuck you need to see a bedroomxunless you’re going to be sleeping in there.
What are you supposed to say when shown a bedroom anyway? “Oh yeah cracking never been in one of these before”?
Generally speaking , your friends don’t give a fuck about your house so why bore them?

Generally speaking there are an awful lot of people interested in the layout of their friend's houses if they have just moved. I never ask to look round someone's house, but if they offered, then yes, I would be interested.

It's weird that you included the finance information when it is irrelevant to your AIBU. Do you believe you have more say than you DH because you chipped in more..?

Probably to stop the inevitable 'it's his house he can do what he wants' posts.

Didn't work, though.

Yanbu - I would absolutely hate that.

I’m with you OP. DH thinks it’s normal to do the whole house tour. Family, friends anyone who cares to look. He’d probably invite people off the street.

Drives me bonkers!

I’ve several relatives whose houses I’ve never been upstairs in. Why look at someone’s en suite. I’d go for the marmite smeared pants next time he’s at it.

Oh dear. That's really not...just, did you not realise the kind of man you were marrying before you made your vowes? You have my deepest sympathies. Maybe you should get him some ettiquette lesson for Isis Christmas gift.

"Am I being precious?"

Yes. Very. He's a patient man.

I was always brought up to think it rude to go into someone else's bedroom. I always feel a bit awkward when it comes to the adult bedroom when we get house tours, and I feel awkward showing people ours when -DH insists- we do tours!

I can live with once on a tour, though. What got me was when we had one of my friends stay the night, and in the morning she came in without asking and sat at the end of the bed to chat to me while DH and I were both still in bed! That crossed a line for me.

This is our first house and we've shown people around. Bedrooms are normally off-limits, though I did show a couple our room when they were hoping to buy two doors down, to give them a rough idea of sizes. They didn't buy the house in the end though.