To not want to give Dmil baby clothes

[Snoreborewhoreee]

So Im a very sentimental person and a bit of a hoarder I keep all my babies clothes incase I have another one (which has happened twice lol) and to keep for a memory blanket if I don't have any more.. My mil always asks for some whenever I post old photos of them cos she wants some for a memory blanket for herself? But if I'm honest and this is going to sound selfish I don't want to give any away.. I'm not going to lie she has bought items for them to wear (no idea which ones now but a couple were precious newborn outfit/hat) so I guess that's why I'm asking the aibu question..

@ToadsforJustice

Hmmm... long shot here but maybe MIL has memories of them too?

I get the sense that you secretly resent your MIL having any claim to memories of your DC and don't like that she wants to have her own memories blanket.

I'm not sure exactly what this special "memory blanket" exactly is but it sounds a bit like the lovely patchwork quilts that my DH's DGM made for him and his sister using their childhood clothes for patches. I think it's a lovely thing to do and making memory blankets/patchwork quilts seems like a very grandmotherly thing to do!

Yabu. Just give her some you less attached too.

What the hell is a memory blanket?!

Maybe your mil has actual memories of your dc wearing them too

There again I didn't keep any clothes just their baby blanket and christening robes.
When you are making yours, just cut two pieces out instead of one, unless of course you are making a duvet cover.

Am I the only person who finds it wasteful to cut a bit out of each item of clothing to make a blanket when they could be passed on and worn by lots of other children.

She sees the kids a couple of hours every two weeks or so, she can't have that many memories of the clothes I wouldn't think but hey I've been wrong before...
I don't resent my mil, she's a lovely lady... I guess I'm just not ready to get rid of the baby clothes yet as my youngest is only a year old, I'm not ready to get my memory blanket done yet incase I decide to have another one.. The thought of me getting rid of them makes me feel quite sad and yes if I'm honest I do feel weird about her having a memory blanket of my child's clothes, I can't help feeling like that

No I don’t think it’s wasteful to cut up one item. It might not ever be worn anyway if the OP doesn’t have anymore children as it’s highly unlikely that she’d give the clothes away anyway.

Gawd - I kept a couple of items just because I may one day be able to foist them on a gc but what are the chances by then that they’ll be any use? I suppose a memory blanket is a nice idea but I was happier that the charities I donated to got good money to help people from most of our old dc clothes.

On the whole, you’re both being a bit weird - why all the harking back and not living in the moment?

Why not just tell her it’s too soon and ask her why the rush?

I have kept a few of my favourite items my children wore as little babies but it would have felt criminal cutting up perfectly good baby clothes for any reason but each to their own. It's up to you what you do with yours however don't underestimate your MIL having very similar memories of your child her grandchild including the clothes they wore.

That said my (ex)MIL would have got a big fat no because she's a massive fanny.

Likemylikessnuffkin hilarious 😅

Chronicallylate38 I guess cos a couple of the items she bought so I feel I should automatically hand over even if they have huge sentimental value

Would you ever want one for your grandchikd

Don't see why you find the idea of the memory blanket for her weird when you have said you may do one for yourself in time.

What is a memory blanket ??

Um, the answer is no because you may have another baby, and even if not you aren't ready to think through what you want to do with the clothes. That's fine.

Personally I think the best way you are going to avoid bad feeling is for you to make sure you don't get pushed into doing things you don't yet want to do. Give it til you're ready and I'm sure you'll end up being fine with giving her bits. It's just that right now you aren't sure of your own feelings and so you don't like feeling pushed.

No- just because she bought things AS A PRESENT does NOT mean you should hand them back. That's no a present! Ignore that kind of nonsense.

As your baby is only one, why not go.out tomorrow and buy a couple of bits knowing that you will be buying them to give them to MIL. Take a few photos and send your DC to MIL in wearing the outfit and wrapped up in the blanket.

When your baby is older maybe you want to address the reasoning need to hold onto everything.

A blanket made out of the clothes your infant child shat up the side of? Am I missing something here...?

Anyone else on here feeling pretty envious wishing their own DCs had a grandparent who was sentimental/cared enough to want to make a memory blanket..?

Find some with stains on, that you will never let a child wear again, and explain that they have the stains, but you know she will be able to cut enough out to make the blanket.

You're both daft with your memory blankets and huge sentimental value nonsense.

The first mothers' day card the children made at nursery, sweet little notes or pictures, awards, a funny story they wrote, school play recordings, school photos, mentions in the school newsletter or local paper, first school report etc. These are the things which have sentimental value not every bloody item of clothing they ever wore.

I wouldn't give her anything just because I wouldn't want to encourage this nonsense. But don't go on about your own memory blanket. Tell her you've given everything to a charity shop (then maybe give everything to a charity shop, once you've definitely decided that you aren't having any more).

Telll her that when you get around to making a blanket out of them, you'll get one made for her at the same time. There should be enough fabric.
That way you get to keep them for as long as you want and it will be a lovely thing to do for her when the time comes.

Wow hedda that’s quite an extreme reaction. I find some of my dd’s clothes sentimental because the images on the cloth trigger strong memories. Everyone’s memory functions differently and for some these are the items that hold strong memories and therefore sentiment. Several of the grows my dd wore when she was newborn I would sit and stare at (her obviously but she was in them!) for hours as as she cluster fed and slept. The emotions I felt at the time were so so strong due to the crazy hormones washing round. The OP obviously feels similarly about the clothes. I don’t think it’s fair to state that it’s ‘daft’ or ‘nonsense’ - it’s much too personal and subjective a thing for that.

OP "I just think it's strange for her to want a memory blanket" I don't at all.

I think it is lovely your MIL wants to make a memory blanket. Surely if you are cutting up items of clothing then you could spare some bits of her.

I'm glad to hear you like her, if I were your MIL and you refused to give me any items at all to keep I would be quite hurt, especially if she is buying clothes for your child/children.

YANBU to want to keep lots of clothes. But I think keeping everything is a bit unhelpful for her and for you.