AIBU to ask you to write a snarky reply for me?

[Phryne]

My partner's father texted me the following today: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Grandma and Grandad

It is my birthday. It is not my child's birthday. It is not any of their other grandchildren's birthdays. They don't even like me and have made it clear by saying 'you are not part of our family' out loud, to my face.

I am very tempted to send a snarky reply but (a) I shouldn't rock the boat as we have news to give them at the weekend they won't like and - much much more importantly - (b) I can't think of anything good. All I've got is:
'I didn't know you were a medium, X. Could you please tell nan and granddad thanks and that we did spend the money on beer, as they'd have wanted' (my nan and granddad are dead and I miss them, X is a teetotaler...)

(Light hearted in case that isn't obvious!)

Well the child in me would reply 'grandma grandad I'm so glad you can still access a phone how are you?' But the adult would actually just reply 'thanks' and not acknowledge their behaviour! or show them that the bother you! Plus side is you keep the moral high ground and if they don't like it all the better!

What’s the point of being provocative to them,how’ll that foster good relationship?

"sorry, I think you got confused - it's MY birthday, not BabyPhryne's birthday"

Tom Hardy's naked online?? I'm off to google.

Life is too short OP. Just say Thanks

No it’s not campion

It is however a ‘snarky’ reply which the OP asked for

Have they been actively horrible to you or are they just very old fashioned? If they don't like people of the younger generation using their first names I'm guessing they're not happy you've had a child before marriage and they probably won't consider you a part of the family until you are married.

I'd just put thankyou OP. At the end of the day even though you think they don't like you they've still made the effort to wish you a happy birthday and to me that's quite nice tbh x

The best reply is to be sugar sweet.
thank you so much for the birthday greeting, it' so sweet of you, and I was very touched by it.... xxxx

If you want to ruin their day (an extra present for you) you could always write back "Oh, I wonder which bastard blabbed about the pregnancy?"
If they don't know, they'll be shitty because of the baby and because you didn't tell them yourselves.

Or "UNSUBSCRIBE" - totally mess with their little minds

If you hadn’t said that they actively dislike you I would have thought that was a cute and inclusive message.

I don't understand the problem.

My DM sometimes refers to my DF as grandad when talking to me.Sometimes she corrects herself and sometimes she doesn’t. Surely it is possible they might have just made an error? I wouldn’t reply with anything. It is very trivial.

Is this really the funnest way to spend your birthday? There's pictures of Tom Hardy naked out there for the googling.

Feel like Saucy and I would get on misses point of thread
Congrats on the baby OP!

That all sounds like very hard work OP.

Can I also point out that the reason that the text doesn't include anything like 'love' or even a solitary 'x' is because they don't in fact like me and have made this clear by saying so to my face? I'll not give details this is outing enough as it is

You are reading WAAAY too much into it.
Or perhaps they just don't like you cause you try to get snarkey when they even wish you Happy Birthday. Sounds like you're hard work. YABU

Oh dear, it makes me sad to think of a situation where my elderly Mum, should she ever learn to text [unlikely] might text Happy Birthday to my DH and put Granny on it by mistake, and then him starting an internet thread asking for ideas for replies to make her feel really shitty about it, the shittier the better.

Don't normally say this, but sort of see where they are coming from in the not liking you thing, OP.

Congratulations!!

I'd ignore it. If they ask if you got the message you can always say, "oh was that you, I did wonder" but it sounds like they are doing it for a reaction so it will bother them more if you don't react.

I really can't be arsed with people who play games. I have one on my side of the family that does it so I just don't reply at all now.

Haha! No silly. Your birthday is when you're BORN. He or she is just conceived today.

Of course that relies on you not having told them you're pregnant yet.

Urgh, hate it when posters use the passive aggressive “sad” to judge others. Worse even than the “you sound like hard work” put down.

These are clearly not naice, cuddly GPs, as OP has clearly explained.

You seem intent on causing more problems between you, getting yourself this annoyed about them wishing you happy birthday. You sound quite bitter and like hard work, perhaps this is why they don't like you?

The text is not that bad to spend so much of your time over. Let it go. Either don't reply or reply with "thanks".

Whos tom hardy, why is he naked and whys everyone goggling? (Totally gets confused)

I feel your pain. I have similar situation. However despite history, you dont know that they have sent this deliberately to wind you up. Much as I would feel tempted to send sarky reply I would recommend taking higher moral ground and just reply 'Thank you'. That way you are not ignoring or engaging. Then get on with your day and stop spending time thinking about them. FWIW I had similar situation last year with my FIL. He sent a particularly horrid email. I responded with something fairly brief and neutral and keeping the door open for communication. He has decided to cut off all contact so we no longer have to deal with his games now.