To think a pink mark on his collar is make up

[Eden80]

I need opinions but have no idea how to upload a pic here - using phone app.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

He was working in Africa which is a bit more dusty.

When I traveled in East Africa I was smothered in red dust from dawn til dusk. Hair, under my nails, everywhere. Exactly that colour.

[Stillamum3]

It looks to me as though he has rubbed a dusty finger round inside his collar, or maybe scratched himself with said finger.

[BlueberryIce]

I think it looks like blusher or the red African dust. Very hard to tell. If you’re exceptionally paranoid and have money to burn, you could probably find a company to do a lab test on it to tell you? After claiming you had to throw the shirt away because the stain wouldn’t come out. I realise that is a crazy idea though!

[twohandstwokids]

Maybe he had dust on his hands and pulled at his neck in the heat. It does look the colour of red dust you see in Africa. And it seems odd that it’s inside the neck

[EscapingAdultLife]

Holdbackonthewine... the harmatten seaon in the likes of Ghana doesn't start until mend November normally. The dust there has an orange tinge it it's not bright orange / pink like it is in India.

OP can you give any idea of what your husband does for work?

We had maids when working u Africa and frequently we would.find stains on clothes, it maybe how they was trying the clothes etc. The maid may have touched her lipstick and then started ironing the shirt.

If it's worse case scenario I really hope your DH has used contraception!! Having worked in 2 African countries western men having their fun whilst away seems the normal for 30% of them

[thegirlupnorth]

Could it be blood?

[PandorasXbox]

Bloody hell escaping. That’s not going to help the OP.

[LaurieFairyCake]

Looks like blusher

The reason you’re thinking about this though is that you already suspect him of cheating, your spidey senses are up

What about phones, is he protective of his- is there unexplained money missing, is he avoiding intimacy

[Laiste]

If you look carefully it looks like the marks go down further inside than the folding edge of the collar.

Like a whole dirty neck from the dust or someone with make up on actually wearing the shirt.

OP i'm the most suspicious moo out there (without any reason to be !) and so i'd be a bit funny about these marks too and can sympathise.

Without forensic testing all you can do is go by other things, like attitude, skype pattern ect.

If you hadn't seen these marks would you have noticed the skype thing or the extra randiness on their own?

Because you have already asked him about it and he's said nothing went on there's not much else to do right now. He can't prove his innocence. If you're really suspicious I think you'll have to sit on this and just play a waiting game.

[Eden80]

Another friend suggested forensic testing - do not that wild of an idea but one that I hadn’t thought of so I have already washed it.

I know that a lot of men who spend a lot of time abroad do mess about.

There have been periods in our marriage which we go quite a time without intimacy and it’s that which initially made me suspicious. But then he seems to have bouts of depression I think (undiagnosed) which could account for that. I also think he doesn’t have much of a sex drive compared to other men. I don’t like to worry but it’s hard when you are at home with kids and they are not contacting you when they have the ability to do so.

The work he does is largely office based but would require visiting local areas.

[BlueberryIce]

So if he goes out on visits presumably it is possible it could be red dust? Although was another poster trying to say the dusty season isn’t until November? Not quite sure I understand that bit.

Pity you’ve washed it. Have you checked all his other clothes from the trip?

From what you’ve said it sounds like it could be suspicious but equally the depression could account for lots of his behaviour. Are you able to snoop at his phone at all?

[Laiste]

What would put your mind at rest OP? Is there anything that he could do or say at this point?

Honest question, not being sarcastic.

[clockworklime]

..ask him?

[Laiste]

clock read the thread?

[amusedbush]

It looks like the mark is in a place that would be flush against his neck, so not somewhere that someone else's make up could rub off.

I agree that he has either ran his grubby finger around his collar to adjust it, or the red dust has settled on his neck and rubbed off on the shirt. I don't think it's anything suspect.

[Eden80]

I don’t know what would put my mind at rest really but getting other opinions has helped me as I couldn’t think of anything else it could be really. Like someone else said there isn’t much I can do at this point except sit on it as he can’t prove his innocence.

As for the phone I could check it but he knows I have in the past so would be pretty vigilant not to leave anything incriminating on there.

I think if his contact during the trip hadn’t been so sporadic and infrequent I wouldn’t have given it this much thought.

Thanks everyone for your help here

[Eden80]

Blueberry ice - all other shirts were fine no marks

[venellopevonschweetz]

It looks to me like something has gotten on his collar and then “rubbed” against his neck as the day has gone one - I have coloured hair and this looks exactly like my collars where they rub along my hair line (just a different colour!)

You said he was working in Africa so more dusty? I’d wager money that’s exactly what it is - Sand/dust that’s been blowing in the air, settled on his collar (assuming the heat would mean he wouldn’t have been wearing a coat outside?) and it’s just rubbed in against his skin.

My DS got makeup on his collar when someone hugged him at a wedding and it looked nothing like this, as a pp said somewhere it looked more like a patch than a run line.... also if it dust it will wash out on a 30/40 wash - makeup won’t!! I had to throw DS shirt in the bin

[Laiste]

When you checked his phone in the past was it done with his blessing?

[Biggreygoose]

Looks like a dust/sweat combo. I get similar marks on my shirts after being on building sites.

[PandorasXbox]

Has he done something previously to make you anxious and check his phone OP?

[Eden80]

Over the years there have been a few ‘incidents’ that have aroused suspicion but I have never had anything solid so have had no choice but to give the benefit of the doubt.

[BlueberryIce]

How good is he with tech OP? Is it worth checking things like ‘frequent locations’ for when he is in the UK at least? That’s on an iPhone, no idea what it’s called on Android.

[Eden80]

He is better than me with it. How do you access that?

[RockinHippy]

Did he maybe cut himself shaving a tiny bit & it’s swiped along his collar as he’s turned his head?

Who knows for sure, but my question would be, are you usually this suspicious & if not, why now, what other subliminal signals have you picked up on to make you feel this insecure about him?