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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are my dc too old to share a bed?

60 replies

NaiceToMeetYou · 07/11/2017 12:29

Dc are 7 and almost 5. They've never been good sleepers, ds1 only started sleeping through after starting reception and ds2 was still coming into us every night until a few months ago when they asked could they share.
They both sleep from 8pm til 7am now with no waking, it's bliss! My dm however told them at the weekend they're too old to share and should be in their own beds now.

Aibu letting them so that we all get a good night's sleep?

OP posts:
brasty · 07/11/2017 12:30

I think it is fine. More natural really for humans not to sleep alone.

Keepingupwiththejonesys · 07/11/2017 12:30

If they're happy to share a bed then I see no issue whatsoever. My two girls (5&3) sometimes share a bed, other times they don't.

Original poster
NaiceToMeetYou · 07/11/2017 12:31

Ds1 actually asked why can mummy and daddy share but not them Grin

OP posts:
Theresamayscough · 07/11/2017 12:32

We had bunk beds for our boys until they were 8/9 and our girls until they were 9/10.

It worked great for us. Tell your dm to back off. Sleep is the holy grail. Grin

Back in the day as a 70s kid I had my own room wen I moved out aged 18 and dss 3 sisters shared a room until each left home aged 18 and beyond.

It’s fine

MagicMoneyTree · 07/11/2017 12:34

Why would you separate them if they’re both happy? They’ll soon let you know if they’re not! Your DM needs to keep her beak out.

Glumglowworm · 07/11/2017 12:42

They're happy and sleeping well, leave them to it.

They will naturally want more space and privacy as they get older, which is fine. But if they're both happy then why disturb something that works?

Moo678 · 07/11/2017 13:03

I remember in high school there were two sisters who still shared a bed at around 16 and 14. If your kids are happy and sleeping well then I don't see the issue. Ours often have to share on holiday and it's a nightmare becuase they are not even used to being in the same room so they get up to all sorts of nonsense. I think it's sweet that yours want to sleep together.

BrandNewHouse · 07/11/2017 13:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2014newme · 07/11/2017 13:06

I'd let them have their own beds

NannyR · 07/11/2017 13:07

Sharing beds has been the norm throughout history and still is the norm in many places around the world. As long as they are both happy with the arrangement, I can't see anything wrong with it.

oblada · 07/11/2017 13:12

how can they be too old to share? its perfectly natural for humans to bedshare/room share nothing wrong with that :) i would look at changing things only if you encountered a pb such as them being unable to sleep apart (sleepover etc). but just because they bed share doesnt mean they cant be absolutely fine alone in the right circumstances!

Original poster
NaiceToMeetYou · 07/11/2017 13:12

2014 they do have their own beds but choose to share.

OP posts:
MaverickSnoopy · 07/11/2017 13:23

My Dsis and I shared for a period when we had a long term house guest. We were 11 and 6 at the time. It was fine but we did bicker sometimes. So long as they're getting on i don't see a problem.

Sarahjconnor · 07/11/2017 13:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ConciseandNice · 07/11/2017 13:26

It's perfectly natural. I don't think any other great apes slink off to sleep alone at night. They all sleep together and so should we as long as it's wanted by all involved.

blackteasplease · 07/11/2017 13:29

Of course they can share! As long as they are happy it's fine.

They are same sex anyway so I don't see why you would need to separate any time before they wanted you to.

CrocusEater · 07/11/2017 13:34

Sounds fine to me. My two older brothers slept in the same bed till they were much older. Too old, in fact, but there wasn't much else to be done. We only had two bedrooms with a family of six. There was no room to put enough beds for us all to have our own.
That was many years ago though, so attitudes may have changed.

Original poster
NaiceToMeetYou · 07/11/2017 13:43

Glad I'm not BU. They're really close, best friends and do everything together so we're lucky really. Never had a problem with them bickering in bed Smile

OP posts:
Lemonnaise · 07/11/2017 13:51

Confused what exactly is your mother's problem? I don't see an issue with this at all.

maddiemookins16mum · 07/11/2017 14:04

Totally fine, my sister and I shared until we were about 8 and 9.

InsomniacAnonymous · 07/11/2017 14:06

What is your mum's objection to them sharing if they're both happy about it?

Myheartbelongsto · 07/11/2017 14:08

As they're the same sex I'd say OK but if different sexes then absolutely not.

Mustang27 · 07/11/2017 14:12

What @Myheartbelongsto that’s utter crap me and my younger brothers often read and fell asleep in our own bed 3yr and 9yr age gap we are all pretty well rounded adults. I honestly can’t see what your issue is? I don’t think I even want to know.

EmmalinaC · 07/11/2017 14:17

My DDs are 8 and 11. They share a room and have their own beds but much prefer to sleep in the same bed - either DD1's single bed, or the double bed in the spare room. Works for us!

paxillin · 07/11/2017 14:22

When kids are young they can sleep upside down in the kitchen sink if that's what it takes. A well slept family is happier than one with zombie parents at each others throat because they are so tired and tantruming kids for the same reason. Tell your mum not to be silly, do it in front of your kids if she says it again to them.

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