To refuse DH's instructions and the property agent as well?

[3catsontheironingboard]

Excuse me, I would like to ask what people genuinely think about this situation. Basically, we had an offer accepted on a house on May and are due to exchange on Friday this week. We could have exchanged months ago, but the vendors seem slightly peculiar and have faffed about quite a lot.

DH said he was fine to move if that was what I wanted, but he didn't have time to deal with the solicitors or any of it because he's too busy at work. I said that was fine. The plan was that we would rent our current house out, but now DH has suddenly instructed a property agent acquaintance of his (lets call him Raj for anonymity) to put our house in the on the market. This was the other day. Now they have decided between them that, on the grounds of various doom and gloom forecasts about the London property market, that I should ring the vendors agent and say we are taking £400,000 off our offer! This Raj has been in the phone today telling me I would be crazy not to do this, as "everyone does it". I told him, I don't feel comfortable holding a gun to someone's head at the last minute, so he said he will re-negotiate for me! DH is supporting this from overseas. Is this actually how agents work these days?

I feel annoyed that a) DH is suddenly chipping in at the last minute and b) I feel the agent has a vested interest in scuppering this sale so he can sell me a different property. This could be his agenda.

The last text I had from DH was this, "The market is what it is. This is a transaction darling, you're not out to make new friends." I am going to reply that I don't deal like that and what goes around comes around. AIBU or are they?

I do hope you are recording these conversations ;-)

Do you need to sell your current home before you buy? I assume not.

What area of London is it in & what type of house is it? It could be overvalued but it depends on the specific location & market, for example I don't think you could negotiate much off a 5m mansion in Hampstead but a flat in Knightsbridge perhaps you could.

So - your DH is the one putting friendship before business and being totally irrational and stupid?

Sorry, but your DH sounds like a better paid Arthur Daily. I would avoid him like the plague, but I suspect that you quite like him.

If your DH is so into his manly menz back-slapping pals working together then you haven't a hope. Go back to the kitchen and have a cup of tea and a lie down, he doesn't really want your opinion.

Whose money is buying the house? I only ask because if it's your husbands then he's going pay what he wants to pay (as guided by Raj) & I don't see how you can dissuade him given that you've already explained to him your not happy.

You joined mumsnet to ask about this?

needto - it's not in Hampstead or Knightsbridge, but west of the latter one . I know it sounds crazy, but it's on the cheaper side for a 5 bed house in the area. It is no mansion and no more bedrooms than we have now, but it has much more living space, plus a garage which is the reason DH agreed to move. We have 4 DC who are getting bigger and need more space and we can't move out due to schools and his work. He is taking out a loan from his company to bridge the time lapse between buying this house and selling ours.

When do you plan to sell yours? will the price be affected by the jittery market. If yes maybe you do need to negotiate on the new house. What about a 4-5% reduction?

Anyone else want to see "Raj" go on The Apprentice so we can all have a good laugh at the shyster?

So you are definitely selling your house, now? On Raj's say so? Despite the fact that your original plan was to rent your house.

Seems that you are entirely out of the loop now! You may as well stop worrying, as your DH has decided that it'll all be decided by himself and Raj.

"This is a transaction darling, you're not out to make new friends." Your DH sounds like a patronising asshole, though. Is that usual for him?

The chances are very high that that Raj could cause you to lose this house.

Amber - yes because I got very stressed this afternoon. Mainly because I'm aware that I'm the one that pushed for the move and DH agreed, although he wouldn't have done it off his own bat. I'm aware of the pressure he's under taking out the loan from his company and now all this stuff about the markets falling and this Raj man being manipulative really wound me up. Plus DH is away until Fri and it's a different time zone, so I'm on my own. I usually read the education stuff, but people ask about their pubic hair and all sorts in here, so I thought you can ask anything and who cares? Even though all the house moves we've ever done (3), I have dealt with
from start to finish, I generally lack confidence in financial matters and DH is on his own planet with that kind of thing so I can feel quite out of my depth sometimes.

Just tell Raj, "we'll listen to your advice, but any money we're out of pocket, you make us whole. Sign here." See if he changes his tune.

OP " So he felt obliged to let him have a go at marketing our house"

please say to your DH to drop Raj because "it's a transaction, not an exercise in making friends"

I mean, yes, irony but also, true!!

BMW - he'd be fired week 1

The place you will buy hopefully you can force the husband to stick to the agreed price.

I think your issue isn't Raj. Your issue is the behaviour you describe from your husband. Why are you putting up with such an arsehole?

You can't let your DH undermine you like this - you have done all the work and are behaving admirably. If he claims you are pissing away your renovation budget just to be polite- you should be openly mocking him falling for a wheeler dealer, shark, scam artist, moron who is obviously up to something. Just reply "ha ha, has he managed to sell you any magic beans," or something to point out how ridiculous it is to be trusting Raj.

I applaud your common sense. The key thing that stands out to me is the nature of your vendors. They don't sound like people who will cope with gazundering. It's not gonna have the effect your DH and Raj desire, so it's not going to go in anyone's favour to start messing about at this stage. The fact is you've been in this for the long run, dealing with it since May, and you're going to exchange on Fri. To screw about with that now is totally disrespectful not only of your vendors but of your time and perseverance. It's as if this seven months of effort on your part is meaningless. Screw that. You've done the legwork, they don't get to screw it up. Ignore and close the deal and then definitely don't sell your property with Raj!

Thankyou for all the sense on here. I really appreciate people taking the time. I will be saying all this to DH, by the way.

hopefully you will go ahead with your exchange on Friday as planned.

I'm glad that you have some integrity! Definitely stick to your guns on this one.

Just lost about half an hour looking at Rightmove in your area, very naice indeed OP!

Does Raj work for Foxtons?

My buyer suddenly mentioned a damp report the day before exchange and wanted 6 grand off. I was furious but as I had to sell (messy divorce) I couldn't pull out. We settled on 3 grand but it left a really nasty taste in my mouth. Sly move.

You can offer less but expect to lose the house.

We had this done to us 12 yrs ago on the day if exchange. They said they wanted 10% off. We were selling an ex council flat in very good area for £150k. Their reasoning was that the block (very large and in good condition) may need new windows and they would be forced to comply. We should give them the Approx cost off.

Cunts cunts cunts. We were in a chain too. We have them 5% off in the end. The boasted to us that one if their mums was s solicitors abs they knew they could do stuff like this.
Windows are still not replaced. It is commonly done and is fucking repellent. If we had been able to I would have refused to sell to them.

I've not RTFT but you would be crazy to stick at what you offered 6 months ago. London prices have really slowed down so they should consider accepting a lower offer now.