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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse DH's instructions and the property agent as well?

224 replies

3catsontheironingboard · 07/11/2017 12:26

Excuse me, I would like to ask what people genuinely think about this situation. Basically, we had an offer accepted on a house on May and are due to exchange on Friday this week. We could have exchanged months ago, but the vendors seem slightly peculiar and have faffed about quite a lot.

DH said he was fine to move if that was what I wanted, but he didn't have time to deal with the solicitors or any of it because he's too busy at work. I said that was fine. The plan was that we would rent our current house out, but now DH has suddenly instructed a property agent acquaintance of his (lets call him Raj for anonymity) to put our house in the on the market. This was the other day. Now they have decided between them that, on the grounds of various doom and gloom forecasts about the London property market, that I should ring the vendors agent and say we are taking £400,000 off our offer! This Raj has been in the phone today telling me I would be crazy not to do this, as "everyone does it". Confused I told him, I don't feel comfortable holding a gun to someone's head at the last minute, so he said he will re-negotiate for me! DH is supporting this from overseas. Is this actually how agents work these days?

I feel annoyed that a) DH is suddenly chipping in at the last minute and b) I feel the agent has a vested interest in scuppering this sale so he can sell me a different property. This could be his agenda.

The last text I had from DH was this, "The market is what it is. This is a transaction darling, you're not out to make new friends." I am going to reply that I don't deal like that and what goes around comes around. AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
tulippa · 07/11/2017 13:22

How would your DH feel if the future buyer of your current property did this to you at the last minute?

Bekabeech · 07/11/2017 13:22

If it is the big F - then yes they operate like that - which is why I would never deal with them - even if they had my dream house for sale. Nothing is worth dealing with people like that.

DaveTheDesigner · 07/11/2017 13:23

It's a low-life tactic, especially when the vendors are elderly. If you tried that with me I'd tell you to take a hike, and definitely not that politely. I'd personally take pleasure in telling 'Raj' to go f himself too.

Snagz · 07/11/2017 13:23

I think prices are more likely to flatline rather than fall, but then I'm no expert.

Even experts don’t know. It is literally crystal ball territory whether the market declines a bit, stays flat or crashes.

Anyway, I'm not doing it. If I wanted to get money off, I should have tried that after the survey.

^^This. I think you’ve made the right decision there. Fair play to you.

Butterymuffin · 07/11/2017 13:24

Is this a total change of character for your DH, or has he shown tendencies like this before?

Oysterbabe · 07/11/2017 13:25

We had someone try something similar with us. Days from exchange and the seller's solicitors called and asked for an extra 10k to reflect the change in the market since the sale was agreed. We told them to get fucked in so many words and the sale went ahead as agreed.

HollyandBrambles · 07/11/2017 13:27

It depends on how much the £400,000 is off, £4 million, maybe, £800,000 no. Regardless, Raj sounds like a right knob and should have nothing to do with it!

Original poster
3catsontheironingboard · 07/11/2017 13:28

The other thing this Raj has said today, is basically that if we can get money off the new house, then we'll have more leeway to accept a slightly lower offer in this house!!!
This us after he assured me that he's the best salesman (blah, blah and all that spiel) and not to panic because he always gets his clients the best deal - better than any other agent around.

OP posts:
Original poster
3catsontheironingboard · 07/11/2017 13:29

It's not the F word, but very similar.

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 07/11/2017 13:32

Selling a house for £400,000 more than its actually worth is not acting in good faith though is it? Maybe £400,000k is nothing to you but most people I know would halt a purchase if they suddenly found out the thing they were buying was available elsewhere for considerably less.

mamaslatts · 07/11/2017 13:33

I recently sold a property in london for £1.2 m. The commission from reputable high st EA was 1% so those are not 'mate's rates'. If it is the agent mentioned upthread, they are known to charge more commission than others. Other tactics include overpricing a house to get you on board then advising to lower price within a couple of weeks as no interest. A house round the corner from them was priced at £1.4 m and within 10 days was reduced to £1.2m.

We also nearly bought a property from them approx 5 years ago but pulled out a week before exchange as the agent had not been honest about several important factors which they knew from the off but did not become apparent til much later down the line. Be very wary.

As an aside, your husband sound very patronising in his attitude to you. I also think it quite likely your vendors will pull out if you pull this stunt.

RolyRocks · 07/11/2017 13:34

The London property market is struggling though - especially at the higher end of the market that you seem to be in? Prices in Central London and the suburbs are all suffering.

I dunno. I just sold my house in less than a week for more than the asking price (which I thought was silly money anyway) on a 2 bed Victorian in South London. Three other houses in the same street have also sold for close to or at the asking price since the summer holidays. Not seeing a suffering market to be honest.

OP, this all sounds very much like 'over a pint' dodgy dealings with your DH and Raj. I'd tell Raj where to go, to be honest.

OP, you haven't said what other close by properties are currently on the market for. Has there been a "400k" style drop in value around the area? This needs to be checked before you make a decision.

MinervaSaidThar · 07/11/2017 13:34

DH is saying he doesn't want to be caught out buying at a relative "high" and selling at a low (next year).

I wouldn't buy if I was planning to sell it next year.

titchy · 07/11/2017 13:34

You do realise that once you're about to exchange on yours, Raj will suggest to your buyers that he can renegotiate the price and split the difference or something dodgy don't you?

AnUtterIdiot · 07/11/2017 13:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RolyRocks · 07/11/2017 13:36

Yeah, I was going to say 1% wasn't mates rates as well, mamaslatts - I got a 1% deal with my well known estate agent too....

greendale17 · 07/11/2017 13:37

I feel the agent has a vested interest in scuppering this sale so he can sell me a different property. This could be his agenda.

^This. Do not listen to this man

kmc1111 · 07/11/2017 13:37

I mean, it really depends on how much it is. 1.5 million, that's just rude and you'll lose the house. 8 million, it's a fairly minor market adjustment.

Usually I'd say that morally you should stick to the agreement you made, but given the vendors have chosen to faff about for months rather than get into gear and exchange in a timely manner, I actually think they've opened themselves up to this. Still could be risky, but if your DH is already talking of sale prices in a year I assume you're not really that deeply attached to the house?

Hissy · 07/11/2017 13:38

Trust your gut and refuse to have Raj market your home.

I would not allow that slimeball over the threshold.

EmNetta · 07/11/2017 13:38

Raj probably has a buyer in mind for your house, so could well afford to charge a lower fee- no advertising etc. However, if your present agent has found you a buyer, I think you'd be liable for commission to them, and quite right too. Another distasteful way of doing business, if you do have a present selling agent, and worth mentioning to your Dh.

Original poster
3catsontheironingboard · 07/11/2017 13:39

I don't know if it's is £400k overpriced though Barbarian. There's not much property in the market so it's difficult to compare like with like. There is another house on the same road which was is for the same price, but hasn't sold. It hasn't been marked down either though. People never offer anywhere near the asking price really. At least 10% off is probably the norm, I think.

OP posts:
HeebieJeebies456 · 07/11/2017 13:42

Your husband is a shit bag.........a patronising shit bag to boot.

DH is saying he doesn't want to be caught out buying at a relative "high" and selling at a low (next year)
So how come this wasn't an issue or even at the forefront of his mind when he originally told you to 'get on with it'?

He's basically made YOU do all the onerous work, cos you know - he's 'too busy' to do the menial stuff Hmm
Then when he's come across a money making scam for himself and his mates he thinks he can simply over-rule you like this? Hmm

He trusted your judgement originally to leave you alone to do all the work- but suddenly overnight your judgement can't be trusted and you need to be man-splained to?
What a patronising tosser!

Why have you just accepted his change of attitude without saying anything?
I suggest you tell Raj to bugger off with his advice before you report him to the Ombudsman.............and tell your husband he can deal with you if he has any issues.

ShizeItsWeegie · 07/11/2017 13:42

I had similar. I was selling a house with a building plot. The buyer wanted a massive reduction on the day of exchange because he was worried he would have to put in a septic instead of stabbing in to the nearby sewer. In the village I was selling houses sell before they go on the market nine times out of ten, it is so sought after. I stopped the sale and went quiet and ghosted him. I sold it to another developer six weeks later for just short of 50K more. Around about that time I had a letter from buyer number ones solicitor asking me if I still wanted to proceed with the sale. I didn't bother to answer. The house that was built on the plot is still owned by the developer but has risen in value by 180k in eight years.

Don't do it OP. It's bad karma. You offered what you offered because it was what it was worth to you. You may well lose the house.

AnUtterIdiot · 07/11/2017 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hissy · 07/11/2017 13:42

Look on Rightmove, how much would you need to spend to buy the house you are looking to buy now if the property were being valued now.

the best you can do is say to your EA/solicitor that they need to exchange this week without fail, no further delay or you will have to look again at the price agreed.