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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse DH's instructions and the property agent as well?

224 replies

3catsontheironingboard · 07/11/2017 12:26

Excuse me, I would like to ask what people genuinely think about this situation. Basically, we had an offer accepted on a house on May and are due to exchange on Friday this week. We could have exchanged months ago, but the vendors seem slightly peculiar and have faffed about quite a lot.

DH said he was fine to move if that was what I wanted, but he didn't have time to deal with the solicitors or any of it because he's too busy at work. I said that was fine. The plan was that we would rent our current house out, but now DH has suddenly instructed a property agent acquaintance of his (lets call him Raj for anonymity) to put our house in the on the market. This was the other day. Now they have decided between them that, on the grounds of various doom and gloom forecasts about the London property market, that I should ring the vendors agent and say we are taking £400,000 off our offer! This Raj has been in the phone today telling me I would be crazy not to do this, as "everyone does it". Confused I told him, I don't feel comfortable holding a gun to someone's head at the last minute, so he said he will re-negotiate for me! DH is supporting this from overseas. Is this actually how agents work these days?

I feel annoyed that a) DH is suddenly chipping in at the last minute and b) I feel the agent has a vested interest in scuppering this sale so he can sell me a different property. This could be his agenda.

The last text I had from DH was this, "The market is what it is. This is a transaction darling, you're not out to make new friends." I am going to reply that I don't deal like that and what goes around comes around. AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
TrojansAreSmegheads · 07/11/2017 12:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyKingdomForBrie · 07/11/2017 12:57

I would utterly refuse to do this and let your solicitor know you are in conflict and your husbands instructions are not authorised. He can’t do this unilaterally. Do not touch the dodgy agent with a barge pole.

AnaWinter · 07/11/2017 13:00

What is in it for Raj? I think it is an awful thing to do to some one when you are exchanging in a few days time. I would plough ahead and ignore my husband giving orders from abroad.

FanFckingTastic · 07/11/2017 13:00

This rather nasty practice is called gazundering. I believe that, thankfully, it's quite rare - although it did happen to me when we sold our last house. Our buyer's decided on the day of exchange that they wanted to knock money off the price of our house. We told them to get lost and put the house back on the market. A week later they told us that they had experienced a change of heart and wanted the house at the price agreed. The sale went through, however I made sure that when we left the house it was as filthy as I could manage, including and un-flushed gift in the toilet from one of my kids. I made sure that all of our neighbours knew the kind of people that they were too.

If your husband wants to do this then you need to be sure that you are prepared to lose the house that you are buying. You need to also be prepared to lose the goodwill of the people that you are buying from. I'm really surprised that any credible property agent is suggesting this and would suspect that he has an ulterior motive....

steppemum · 07/11/2017 13:00

what exactly does Raj gte out of this?
Is he getting a cut of the discount?

Totally suspicious

InvisibleKittenAttack · 07/11/2017 13:03

apart from anything else, you should refuse to instruct Raj to sell your property - using the way he does business as not one you can be comfortable with. You would be expecting him to do the same to you.

Clearly to your DH, no matter what else happens, you aren't prepared to work with someone as dodgy as Raj. Contact other agents about selling your house, refuse to use Raj.

IF your DH wants to negotiate more off the price, he can do that himself, but you won't permit Raj to have any say in your finances as he clearly has proven he's not to be trusted.

nemno · 07/11/2017 13:08

When our buyer tried to do this last week (day before exchange) I pulled out of the deal. She thought I was bluffing, I wasn't, she panicked and went back to what we'd agreed but tough for her we'd moved on to plan b.

jennawade · 07/11/2017 13:09

The London property market is struggling though - especially at the higher end of the market that you seem to be in? Prices in Central London and the suburbs are all suffering.

If you agreed this price some time ago then it would be wise to revisit it now IMO. research sale prices for similar and nearby properties online.

Gazundering isn't nice - but neither is saddling yourself with excessive debt just because you were too polite to ask.

Topseyt · 07/11/2017 13:09

This is definitely gazundering. It is a risky and disgusting practice, if you actually want the house you have offered on. It is very much frowned upon and I would be very suspicious of any estate agent who advised anyone to do it.

Someone did this to us a few years ago when we were selling one of our investment properties. We told him to bugger off, and we later sold it to a different buyer who played straight.

Original poster
3catsontheironingboard · 07/11/2017 13:10

Thankyou so much for all this. I would be far to embarrassed to do something like that at the 11th hour, but the way they carry on makes me doubt myself sometimes.
DH has instructed Raj to put our house on the market and he is doing it for 1% fee as some kind of "mates rate". Usually it's about 1.5-1.8%. I doubt it will sell before spring anyway. I don't trust this man.

OP posts:
toffeepumpkins · 07/11/2017 13:11

Be prepared for the vendors to tell you to get lost or words to that effect

BronwenFrideswide · 07/11/2017 13:14

That's despicable behaviour, Raj and your dh sound like a pair of sharks the way they are planning to take advantage of the couple who own the house.

What an unflattering light this paints your dh in, and the rich/wealthy wonder why they are so despised - come the revolution people like your dh and Raj will be scrubbing floors!

SnowBallsAreHere · 07/11/2017 13:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Topseyt · 07/11/2017 13:16

Who you use to put your house on the market should be a joint decision, not DH's alone. It should be with someone you are both happy with and trust. You don't sound as though you trust Raj, and I don't blame you.

I would be rather angry with my DH if he acted unilaterally on what is one of the biggest financial decisions many people will ever make in their lives.

AskBasil · 07/11/2017 13:17

Ask the agent who is selling the house to you, what the deal is with Raj.

I bet you there's bad blood there.

pipistrell · 07/11/2017 13:19

Tell him to fuck the fuck off.

He wasn't interested before, it's your deal and you do it how you want.

Don't agree to selling your current house either if you don't want to. It all sounds dodgy and even if it isn't they got no right to pressurise you in this way.

Snagz · 07/11/2017 13:19

Agree with kittens I wouldn’t be letting Raj sell my house - mainly because he sounds like an arse, but on a basic level how do you know he is not screw you over?

Have to say IMO you need strong words with your DH. Who does he think he is dictating all of this?! Surely it’s a mutual decision - some sort of compromise?

Can see the points about not overpaying, London market etc, but as someone else said, it hasn’t crashed. It might - but no one has a crystal ball. You buy when you buy. If you were going to negotiate, the days before exchange is NOT the time to do it.

AnUtterIdiot · 07/11/2017 13:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TinyTear · 07/11/2017 13:20

what insider knowledge?
you are as capable of checking sold prices in your area on the internet and see what is happening.

i wouldn't do it and tell Raj where to go

Original poster
3catsontheironingboard · 07/11/2017 13:20

I should say that Raj is a director of an estate agency that operates throughout Britain (I think) and this is how they operate. They will sabotage other agents sales at the last minute and see it as fair game. They are desperate because nobody is moving due to high stamp and Brexit uncertainties.

DH is saying he doesn't want to be caught out buying at a relative "high" and selling at a low (next year). I think prices are more likely to flatline rather than fall, but then I'm no expert. We also need to extend the house and some general updating, so DH says, "Well that's your renovation money, but you're too polite".

Anyway, I'm not doing it. If I wanted to get money off, I should have tried that after the survey.

OP posts:
OnionKnight · 07/11/2017 13:20

If you do this you will lose the house.

TinyTear · 07/11/2017 13:21

is it Fuckstons?

blanklook · 07/11/2017 13:22

Raj is going to be making money on this somewhere, he's not helping you out of the goodness of his heart.

There are lots of dodgy things that can be done with buying and selling property. Is Raj friends with your estate agent or does he "work" with your solicitor ? Ah, I see from your update, Raj and hour EA work next door to each other...

Raj could go to the vendors, tell them they are already selling at a low price and he could get them more money, then you offer £600 lower, the vendors tell you to get lost, Raj and friend agent have a mug buyer for "your" new house who is prepared to pay well over market value.

You get no deal, your reputation isn't great, emotionally you'll be in a state.
Raj and friend, actually your EA who is supposed to be acting in your interests, split a bigger profit between them now that you are out of the picture.

DancingLedge · 07/11/2017 13:22

I agree with your DH that buying and selling houses is a business deal.
And if someone I am doing business with in good faith, tries to fuck me over like that - Game over.

sparechange · 07/11/2017 13:22

Not only will it not work with your vendors, you’ll get blacklisted by the agents and find it difficult to buy another house

We sold this year and while our place was on the market, we had a couple ask to view
The agents (big famous London chain) warned us that this couple had been under offer with a couple of houses and then pulled out/gazundered and while they didn’t make an offer on ours, we wouldn’t have accepted an offer if they had

And agents talk to each other as part of their job so I wouldn’t be surprised if all their agent mates get to hear about what you’ve tried to do, and similarly warn their vendors

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