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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bloody hell - Santa blackmail.......

98 replies

MintyChops · 06/11/2017 18:36

So last year my eldest son (then 7) said he wasn’t totally sure that Santa was real so I put a packet of chewing gum in his stocking as we don’t allow it and “only Santa” would have done this. He was thrilled, said he knew now that Santa is real, relished his chewing gum, faith restored and I thought how clever I had been.

Too bloody clever as it turns out. He has now announced that he is having his Santa doubts again, thinks it is just me and his dad and that when he writes to Santa this year he is only going to ask for one thing. A PlayStation. I really, really do not want to get one for all sorts of reasons, too expensive/yet another screen to try to keep him off/ he is only 8/ something to fight over with his little brothers, etc but what the hell do I do?

I have asked a few friends and all bar one have said that they think we should get it and enjoy how thrilled he will be. The one who thought we shouldn’t get it had no helpful advice on how to not get it without confirming Santa’s non-existence, he just objected to the blackmail-style of it. So, AIBU to not get it and if not, how do I get out of it without him feeling Santa isn’t real?

OP posts:
ItalianWiking84 · 07/11/2017 08:43

Thank you the poster who posted the link for a Santa video. Dd1 is 3.5 and believes. She will be thrilled with a video Smile she btw also knows that you make a wish list and if your lucky Santa will bring you a thing from the list.

BakedBeans47 · 07/11/2017 08:49

I certainly wouldn’t be getting a PlayStation I didn’t want or couldn’t afford just to keep the belief in Santa tentatively going for at most this Christmas. That’s just silly. Whether you tell him the truth or not is up to you but I would just manage his expectations that he won’t be getting a PlayStation and take it from there.

ShatnersWig · 07/11/2017 08:53

Santa only ever brought a stocking of small things. Annuals, sweets, a torch, small games. Anything of any expense was from family.

Avoided any of this sort of crap.

frogsoup · 07/11/2017 08:54

This is why santa only brings small stocking presents in our house! I've never liked the idea of him getting the credit for the big presents we buy for the kids Grin and no, of course you shouldn't be blackmailed into buying an expensive present you disagree with.

Appuskidu · 07/11/2017 09:00

Ha ha ha! I didn’t think I was a sucker but I really must be!! I’ll be so sad when he doesn’t believe. I remember when I found out it was just sort sort of crushing

  1. He truly knows santa isn't real already
  2. He is desperate for a PlayStation
  3. This 'crushing' tells us this situation seems more about your feelings about Christmas than his.

Buy the kid a PlayStationWink

Ttbb · 07/11/2017 09:03

Ffs don't buy a 7 year old a play station! If he's so clever then he can cope with finding outthat santa isn't real. Alternatively santa can write back about how much he hates PlayStations and get him something less horrible.

BishopBrennansArse · 07/11/2017 09:05

I did the “if you don’t believe you won’t get a stocking at all”

So my 13 year old ‘believes’ so he doesn’t spoil it for the younger ones!

BishopBrennansArse · 07/11/2017 09:14

Oh and Father Christmas doesn’t bring anything more expensive than £30 as a ‘main’ present then pocket money rubbish for the rest of it.

Bigger presents are from us.

Fairyflaps · 07/11/2017 09:17

BishopBrennansArse same here.
Repetition of "if you don't believe in Santa, he won't bring you anything" quells any doubts or dissent among my mercenary lot, and was useful with a large age gap between the children.

alwaysthepessimist · 07/11/2017 09:21

Santa has a price limit in our house - nothing above £100 (I only have one child too).

Or tell them the truth?!

SootSprite · 07/11/2017 09:21

Father Christmas bought me a red wii a few years ago. We already owned a wii, but red is my favourite colour. I had been a good girl. I was in my late 30’s 😂

In part, this was to make up for the fact that dd loved chocolate coins, but could never get the foil off, resulting in me having to peel them for her, one by one. The previous year, Father Christmas bought her 1 kg of chocolate coins. Bastard. 😂

Personally, if you think he really ‘knows’ and is just trying to manipulate you into buying an expensive present, I wouldn’t buy it.
If you really really think he is too young, then don’t buy it.
But if he’s being straight, and you don’t have any strong objections and can afford it, then why not?

ishouldntsaybut · 07/11/2017 09:22

Your son is on to a winner there!! My kids believe(d) in Santa, I have never told them otherwise however no way is the Big Man going to take all the glory for presents. I told them that parents work hard and send money to santa each month and he gets presents from the list based on how much has been sent - which changes monthly based on behaviour Grin.

wornoutboots · 07/11/2017 09:28

if you do give in get Father Christmas to write him a letter explaining that due to franchise agreements, he is unable to provide such things to more than 100 children, and that this year's are already allocated so please can he choose an alternative?

then you can get the playstation as a family present from you and your dh (thus avoiding future "It's MINE so you can't play with it!" arguments)

Joinourclub · 07/11/2017 09:28

I think if you are getting to the point where you have to make a massive effort to keep up the pretence, then it is time to give up and let them find out.

8 seems like a perfectly normal age to find out Santa isn't real. I don't know many 9 year olds, but I'm fairly sure they would all roll their eyes if I asked them if they believed in Santa!

Iwantamarshmallow · 07/11/2017 09:46

I think you made a rod for your own back with the chewing gum.. sounds like he’s seeing what he can get away with. Can’t you write back as Santa with a reason as to why he can’t have one ?… My elves don’t know how to make a PlayStation / your mummy and daddy tell me you already have lots of electronics / PlayStations are only given to children on the 100% good list.

LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 07/11/2017 10:40

Your DS sounds brilliant OP! Grin
FWIW I wouldn’t get him a PlayStation. 8 seems a bit young.
not helpful

DeadDoorpost · 07/11/2017 10:58

I'd start him off with a ps1 or 2 originally rather than get a brand new one. Second hand obviously as they're cheaper and the games are quite often tamer. But that's only if you decide to get one. My parents bought us consoles as family presents except the DS in which we all got our own at some point or another.
As for him not believing... at some age kids always ask and often figure it out. At 23 I still believe in him purely because ive got younger siblings but I also have a son about to he born so I get to keep the spirit of him alive. We also don't get stockings if we don't believe so that's always been something for us as well 😂
We always wrote to Santa with our lists and he always sent a letter back. One year I'm pretty sure he asked one of us why we wanted something expensive and then said that those sorts of presents are always checked with the parents and if they allow the set budget to be stretched then he'll agree. But something like that we'd never have been allowed as an individual present.
(And FWIW my youngest bro has been playing the PlayStation since he was about 3 but never games considered too bad for him. I think it helped that we liked playing silly kids ones anyway. Or racing games. But I understand why parents don't want to start them off too early)

ArcheryAnnie · 07/11/2017 11:11

He's 8. He knows that Santa doesn't exist and is playing you. I'm quite impressed by that, to be frank, but I wouldn't fall for it!

brasty · 07/11/2017 12:31

Yeah I wish I had thought of that as a kid. Although unlikely my mum would have fallen for it.

BeckleinDisguise · 07/11/2017 18:47

I don’t agree that asking for something you’ve said no to means he doesn’t believe! My eldest still believed at 13 and given his tears when he suspected I was the tooth fairy a few months later, I don’t think he was faking.

I have never confirmed or denied the existence of FC though, I always say it’s up to them what they believe but if they choose not to they mustn’t spoil the magic for those that do.

As for the PlayStation, could you maybe get one as a family gift and ration time on it? My boys had one at this age but it was shared and always kept downstairs, they were not allowed it every day. I always tell mine they can’t ask FC for anything too expensive as he’s got so many other children to make and buy for (some things are just too tricky - electronics are one of those things). Besides, if I’m buying an expensive gift I’d like the credit too - I don’t want my DCs thinking a stranger in a red suit brings them presents but their parents don’t! GrinWink

RedastheRose · 07/11/2017 20:17

Almost certain he knows full well that Santa doesn't exist. There's always the one or two 'smart' kids who announce to the rest that Santa is just mum and dad sadly. Almost all children will know by the age of 8, they like to play along though to keep it special usually. Saying that his PlayStation request is too much for Santa as he has to get toys for all the children and that there is a limit (of whatever is your maximum spend for Xmas presents) is a sensible idea.

kavanaughkj · 07/11/2017 20:23

Why not just buy him an original PlayStation second-hand (i.e a PS1) - they have a huge, cheap back catalogue and Santa would still have bought it! ;) OK, the graphics are a bit shitty but there are some classics on that machine even so. :)

kmc1111 · 07/11/2017 21:34

I don't understand why parents push kids to act like they still believe when they've clearly figured it out. As a child in that situation, the pressure to keep up the pretense ruined the magic of Christmas far more than realising Santa was just a story.

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