Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious with DH about dog shit on the carpet

92 replies

lostpurplehoodie · 05/11/2017 10:54

I know he didn't do it on purpose but I am fuming right now.

New rug in the sitting room arrived on Wednesday so isn't even a week old. He's decided to go for a run this morning so has got his running shoes from by the front door and instead of sitting on the seat there, putting them on and going out has brought them into the sitting room and put them on sitting on the sofa and has trodden dog shit that he must have run in yesterday into the new, cream rug. He literally walked past every other chair in the house before using the sofa by my nice new rug.

He then attempted to brush it out with the dustpan and brush, which didn't work and he just shoved back under the sink. So I've had to get the carpet shampoo out (and hope it doesn't damage the new rug) and clean up shit, and then disinfect the dustpan and brush and am now in a house that smells faintly of shit wondering how to make the smell go. Whilst he has gone on his fucking run

AIBU to be fucking furious with him for being so stupid to bring his shitty shoes onto the new carpet, make the mess worse and then fuck off out?

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 05/11/2017 12:04

WhereYouLeftIt Sun 05-Nov-17 11:32:51
Why do you think he didn't do it on purpose?

OP : "Because nobody would smear shit in their house on purpose would they? He's been a bellend and used his normal lack of common sense."

OK, two things striking me from your response. One - 'normal lack of common sense' says this is not a one-off, there have been other incidents in the past. Two - you're assuming this 'bellend' (your word) wouldn't behave in a way that you wouldn't.

But there are reasons why he would, aren't there? If he wanted to upset you, piss you off, maybe get pleasure from thinking about you cleaning up after him - yes, possibly he would do it. Because it costs him nothing, he smears the shit and goes out, safe in the knowledge that you will be unable to leave it like that and will have it all clean by the time he gets back.

So maybe the question you should be asking is 'can I think of a reason why he would do this?' I'd be thinking along the lines of is he pissed off with me over anything, have we argued, did he not want you to buy this rug, is he the petty vindictive kind of bellend, has he done anything similar in a previous episode of his 'normal lack of common sense'. By similar I do not mean bringing shit into the house, but maybe damaging something you are fond of (e.g. a favourite handwash-only jumper finding its way into a 60degree wash).

Remind yourself of just how much effort he had to go to to get shit all over your new rug:
"Re where he puts his shoes on, I agree when they're not covered in shit, but it was so illogical. He moved the shoes from where he needed them to as far away from the door as he could and onto the only bit of floor I am precious about because it's new (and harder to clean). It just made no sense for him to bring them all the way through the house when he could just have put them on and gone straight out like I would have."

It just made no sense. Hmm, maybe it does if you look at it from a different angle.

Sprinklestar · 05/11/2017 12:05

I'd have thrown it away and made him buy a new one.
Who wants to snuggle up by the fire on a rug that smells of dog shit? Sure, you can do your best to clean it, but it won't be perfect.
Sounds like he did it on purpose to me.

BertrandRussell · 05/11/2017 12:07

Do you always throw things away when they get dirty?

CaramelEmporium · 05/11/2017 12:08

BetrandRussell, perhaps I was wrong to use the word incompetent...the point is he would not do it to the level that I would want it to be done to, simple as that. He is very capable, does most of the cooking, mucks in with laundry, does his own ironing etc, just doesn't have the same standards as he when it comes to cleaning. We each play to our strengths and cleaning and DIY are not his. Anyway, this is irrelevant to the OPs post.

diddl · 05/11/2017 12:11

Does he have an inability to smell shit?

Didn't notice shit on shoes yesterday after run, didn't notice shit on shoes when he picked them up this morning to put on?Hmm

stitchglitched · 05/11/2017 12:11

I understand why you cleaned it OP. I wouldn't want to leave shit festering on a brand new rug to make a point either. But I would be absolutely furious with him. And it sounds from your other posts like he has form.

ShirleyPhallus · 05/11/2017 12:12

Sounds like he did it on purpose to me.

Oh come on Hmm

Sparklingbrook · 05/11/2017 12:12

I would throw away a rug if it had had dog poo on it. I don't think you could get it properly clean again.

Original poster
lostpurplehoodie · 05/11/2017 12:15

Whereyou No I don't think it's been done on purpose, and we haven't argued or disagreed about the rug or anything and nothing of mine has been "accidentally" damaged (I lived with a man like that before so know exactly what you mean). DH is clumsy and a bit dim at times, he's not even slightly vindictive or underhand. He's easily distracted and doesn't engage his brain on occasion. I am certain that this was an accident, but an easily avoidable one if he'd engaged his brain - or his nose.

I'm not going to replace the rug because it smells today, nor am I going to make him buy me a new one - he doesn't have his own "spends" all our money is family money. If I can't use bicarb etc to get the smell out I'll have it professionally cleaned.

He's stropped off because I've told him I'm furious with him for being an idiot in the first place and then being useless in the clean up operation. So I'm going to take myself out for lunch.

OP posts:
Emboo19 · 05/11/2017 12:17

Where were his trainers kept? If they had dog shit on from the day before, how could no one smell it?

Your not being unreasonable in being furious. Although I don’t think I could have cleaned it up 🤢 I’d have phoned him to come back and do it.

StaplesCorner · 05/11/2017 12:22

He doesn't sound like a prince OP. All he needed to do having made the mistake was stay in the house and clean up. From your description I'm afraid it sounds like you enable him and this is not a one off.

keeponworking · 05/11/2017 12:26

Orangealien - your last paragraph. Fucking spot on - then this problem wouldn't even be a problem (or at least a lot less than it is now).

Secondly, OP, this is not lack of common sense, it's outright blatant couldn't give a shit

  • in the act of bringing running shoes into the rugged area of the house
  • the not cleaning up his own mess (do you have kids or animals in the house who could come into contact with the shit?)
  • for deciding to smear it around further with a dry brush
  • for then putting a shit covered dustpan and brush in a KITCHEN cupboard (you know, the room where food is prepared)
  • for then going on his fucking run as though nothing was amiss!!
rwalker · 05/11/2017 12:26

pet shops have stuff to deal with this. Harsh responses of course you would be pissed off it's dealt with now draw a line under it and move on

Luki · 05/11/2017 12:29

My DP does this as well, OP. He will pick his shoes up from the front door, and carry them all the way to the living room to put them on while sat on the sofa then he has to walk with his shoes on all the way to the back door again. I've never understood the logic in this. He claims he HAS to sit down to be able to put any shoes on Hmm no disabilities, perfectly able-bodied, not overweight.

YANBU.

Whisky2014 · 05/11/2017 12:34

Have you asked him why he chose to go for his run first rather than clean the mess?

Winenight · 05/11/2017 12:38

YADNBU OP.

DH removed a radiator from the wall of the bedroom, forgot to drain the sludge after removal and threw it all over the landing carpet. It was like black ink. I was furious as all I could think was we'd have to fork out for a brand new carpet which we hadn't budgeted for.

It wasn't malice, just stupidity. We spent the afternoon scrubbing the carpet and going over it again and again with a Rug Doctor. If I had left it for him to do entirely then it would have put him back even further on his already overdue DIY schedule.

Men just seem to have a completely different to what we do. I don't think they respect things. There's no way I could have left dog crap stinking in my house either!

(On a slightly related note some generous dog owner has dumped a bag of dog crap in our grey bin and it's stinking the bin out. But I'm not going to start poking around trying to retrieve it whilst heavily pregnant!)

stella23 · 05/11/2017 12:39

for then going on his fucking run as though nothing was amiss!!

This he clearly was happy for you to sit in house that smells of shit, and you dutifully clean it up

StaplesCorner · 05/11/2017 12:41

Have you asked him why he chose to go for his run first rather than clean the mess? - yes, and why he chose to put the dustpan etc back with shit on it? Why would he do these things? So did you ask him OP?

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 05/11/2017 12:46

If there was sufficient (moist?) shit on his shoes the day after they were last used to have smeared on the rug, how on earth did he (or you) not smell it? If, as you say, the shit on the rug stunk the house out his shoes must've hummed!

pictish · 05/11/2017 13:08

God what a lot of drama over absolutely nothing. OP I bet you regret starting this thread now. By God some of you sound like bloody hard work. Arbitrary crap about where you should or should not put bloody shoes on in your own house. I'm worn out just reading this.

pictish · 05/11/2017 13:16

I put my own shoes on wherever the fuck I like btw and if my dh questioned it I'd tell him to stop being fucking weird.

alittlehelp · 05/11/2017 13:18

Did he intend to clean it up himself after the run, or did he just leave it for you to clean? Either way that's disgusting and inconsiderate.

pictish · 05/11/2017 13:19

And if he (or I) made a half arsed job of cleaning something, we wouldn't take it as a display of intrinsic failure as a human being. You lot are nuts!

happypoobum · 05/11/2017 13:38

I don't get this at all

So I've had to get the carpet shampoo out (and hope it doesn't damage the new rug) and clean up shit, and then disinfect the dustpan and brush and am now in a house that smells faintly of shit wondering how to make the smell go. Whilst he has gone on his fucking run

Why didn't you just put the rug outside so it didn't stink up your house, and leave him to sort it out when he got back?

YouStoleTheBowlFromTheRoom · 05/11/2017 13:42

Men just seem to have a completely different to what we do. I don't think they respect things.

Oh, for goodness's sakes. Men run the world - they're perfectly capable of not being lazy, incompetent twats around the house; they choose to let women clean up after them because, all too often, we do.

Swipe left for the next trending thread