WIBU Not to apologise?

[FakePlantsOnly]

Just looking for other opinions on this as I didn’t think I was in the wrong but am open to being told I’m wrong.

Was just in Sainsbury’s, which as you can imagine at this time on a Saturday is heaving. I didn’t need much so picked up a basket. Was at the beginning of one of the aisles waiting to go down it as a family were stood across the aisle trying to decide what they wanted-which for me is a whole other issue that I won’t go in to. I stood waiting, not in a rush so don’t really mind. They then chose what they wanted and all turned towards me to leave the aisle at which point one of the children walked into the corner of my basket. I didn’t say anything and then her mum asked me if I was going to apologise to which I replied “no, she walked in to it, I was stood still.” She’s replied saying that I should have been more careful about the way I carry my basket and she still thinks I should apologise. As I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong I said again that I wasn’t going to apologise and went to walk away, thinking it was all done, she then grabbed my arm as I walked away and said I wasn’t going anywhere until I apologised, at this point her husband stepped in and said she was wasting her time as I was clearly too ignorant to realise that I was in the wrong and then they left.

Boils down to, was IBU by not apologising?

I probably would have said sorry instinctively - you know in that ridiculous way British people do when someone bumps into them! But no were not in the wrong. They sound horrible.

The mother especially sounds weird. I think in that situation I might have said “ oops be careful “ but I wouldn’t have apologised.

Btw, to other posters being very concerned about the kid, it was just a handheld basket not a full sized shopping trolley. The OP also didn't say which part of the body the kid bumped. Could've been an arm or knee. Any part on the kid besides an eyeball being bumped would've been no big dea honestly.

The parents were utter arseholes and clearly raising their children to be the same.

So discouraging.

I wouldn't have apologized either, just told the child to watch where they're going and make sure they're okay. And I say this as someone who works with children!

You were right. And you didn't split your infinitive in your post title so I think I love you.

Kids are the worst for this. I've had some kid wheely into my stationary trolley in Asda on a busy Sunday. The mother looked at me like I've ran her kid over 🙄

I have 4 kids, I don’t tend to take them all to TESCO at once, or any if I can avoid it lol but obviously we do venture out a lot, two of my kiddos ave ADHD and autism and are completely obvious to others, hence why it’s stressful. They do walk into people unfortunately and i tend to spend my entire shopping trip telling them to look where they are going. From my perspective, if they walked into you or even if you had walked into them, they still need to learn to watch where they are going and I would have apologised to you. Kids need to learn, even those with special needs, that they need to be observant.

I would obviously of comforted my child if they were hurt, and it can easily happen. I’m probably more sensitive as my mum is severely disabled and people walking into her HAS caused her significant pain or injury before, so I’m more aware to keep an eye on my kids even even being hyper aware they still wounded into people. On the whole, most people, I come across where I apologise just laugh it off and say not to worry.

I do realise this is the opposite scenario to what you described, i don’t think you needed to apologise.

Having observed these arguments between adults on a daily basis on the tube, people interpret the same event differently. She is probably telling her friends that you barged her child in anger because they were in the way and refused to apologise.

If there is any degree of fault on me, if I'm moving at all, I just apologise and move on. I don't understand why people stop and debate who was at fault. Just both say sorry and get on with your day.

If I was not moving at all, I wouldn't say sorry but I wouldn't be drawn into a debate on it or expect one in return.

Most people are very considerate in shops when their child is in the way and oblivious to their surrounds. They usually tell their kid to move, apologise on their behalf and exchange a warm smile.

YABU. She shouldn't have grabbed you, but I find your attitude and behaviour odd. If people are taking up room in an aisle (everyday Occurance). You simply say excuse me please. If a child walks into you regardless of it being you at fault or not, you acknowledge it. At least say 'are you ok'. I find you rude.

I think you was abit rude aswell tbh. I probably would have just said aww sorry. It's a child at the end of the day. To not even acknowledge it was rude IMO.

YANBU to refuse to apologise on this occasion, you did nothing wrong - the child walked in to you - and the mother was batshit to escalate to the point of grabbing you.

However, I do think it's unusual to not to even acknowledge someone who has walked into you. Even a "Whoops, be careful!" or "Oops, you ok?" is better than nothing. As it was a child running into a hand carried basket, I'm imagining that it was most likely to have caught them on the head/shoulder, which can hurt and even though it's the child's fault 100%, checking they aren't hurt is just the polite thing to do.

I would have said ‘careful’ I think to the kid, it’s happened to me loads before and it’s the reflex word out of my mouth as it’s what I say to mine.
There are countless rude, aggressive entitled idiots out there. Anyone laying there hands on me aggressively would have got a loud ‘get your hands off of me!’ Then if she had got shitty they could check the cctv.
People are horrible. Let it go. No point in her ruining your day. She lives her life like that so think of how miserable she must be daily and just brush it off

I would have apologised. Hurting someone by accident still requires an apology and some expression of concern.

The mother over reacted in a ridiculous confrontational way but that could have been avoided if you hadn't been so defensive.

I can't imagine knocking a child's head with my basket and not acknowledging it and consoling them a bit, even if they did walk into it.

I too would have probably said sorry even though I knew I'd done nothing 🙄

Why was OP rude to just wait until the family had finished? I'd say she was being very patient and tolerant. No way would I apologise to someone who walked into me as I was not moving.

Yanbu but I think I just would have automatically just apologised out of habit lol she's sounds like a royal ahole

I think just standing and not reacting when the wee one bumped into your basket is a bit odd. My automatic reaction would be 'whoops careful, are you ok?'

I wouldn't apologise but I'd react.

The mums reaction was over the top.

So, ywnbu to not apologise.

Saying Sorry isn't admitting fault in my mind. It's more about showing some kindness to a fellow person who has hurt themselves. No one was at fault. I definitely wouldn't tell a child off for walking into my basket, how petty!

It's more important to get along with others and have some empathy for a hurt child than to prove a point that you're right about something.

Were you sorry? I take it you were not. Why apologies when you’re not actually sorry?

I wholeheartedly agree with you, I wouldn’t have apologised either. But I do think you’re being ridiculous in even asking this.

I love all the virtue signalling "was the child OK" posts 😂 It was a basket, not a fall from a cliff!

I wouldn't have apologised either OP.

It's not "virtue signalling" to say you'd acknowledge a child who had hurt themselves on your shopping basket, it's basic kindness.

I refuse to believe people would be so cold and unfeeling. How depressing.

Where are these rude people who demand apologies/thank yous/your first born that keep cropping in Aibu situations these past few days all coming from? Is there a parallel universe where the ratio of rude fuckers to normal polite folk is 90/10?
IRL I come across maybe one rude bugger to every 100 or so.